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wrongful hurtings · May 3, 2006, 09:55 PM

Ok I posted about how me and my ex broke up after three years. Then I posted about how I was kind of hooking up with this girl who had a fianece, I know I shouldn't have. Now she moved away and well I'm all alone I need to make friends and take life slow but I need friends sooner then later because being alone sucks any ideas of ways to meet new people or to get the balls to start talking to random people without them thinking I'm a creep? Need help.

signed
Wrongful Hurtings

maria26 · May 3, 2006, 10:17 PM

It sounds like you need time for yourself to re-discovery your inner self. Being alone should not equal lonliness, company is great but it should not be your source of fullfillment. Instead of going and making friends, I would suggest you take that time and do things that will be beneficial to your spirit and in this process you will make genuine friends. Do something you love, go and join a gym, or yoga classes, become coach, etc. whatever it is that gets you into your comfurt zone and helps you re-connect and discovery your inner self!

wrongful hurtings · May 3, 2006, 10:20 PM

I'm told that a lot its not that I want someone seriours or anything I just want someone to hang out with doing things with, it is no fun by yourself and considently that reply is what every girl has told me but not every guy in fact I don't think a guy had said that at all. HMmmmmm

talaniman · May 4, 2006, 04:20 AM

Hi dude, you need some friends huh? I don't know how old you are but get a hobby or two and your bound to meet new people, instead of sitting around looking jump in with both feet and partisapate. Go to a gym, or volunteer for a good cause. The list is endless if you really think about it, so just because your alone is no reason to be lonely!:cool: :eek:

flower81 · May 4, 2006, 04:38 AM

You do sound very lonely.
But searching for girlfriends is not your answer.
How old are you?
Im sure you're old enough to go out, get a hobby like the others said above, and take life as it comes, sometimes when u search for something or someone it never happens.
TC

wrongful hurtings · May 4, 2006, 05:35 PM

I'm not searching for a girlfriend just friends and I'm not sure of any hobbies to take part in any other ideas

wrongful hurtings · May 4, 2006, 09:12 PM

I need a miracle... god will you help me. I need to find myself and not be so lonely well its just a cry for help, really means nothing just feeling well empty inside I guess. I need some friends

maria26 · May 4, 2006, 11:15 PM

You have got to listen... DO SOMETHING... go join a gym, volunteer somewhere,anything, it will get you in tune with yourself and help you meet people at the same time. Don't be a baby.. ive got news for you, your not the only person volunerble too lonliness.. we all fall in at some time or another. But it is only with our own will and strength that we can pull ourselves out of it. Go OUT and find yourself and in the process you will meet many wonderful people! Don't feel sorry for yourself... it isn't going to help you.

PrettyLady · May 4, 2006, 11:40 PM

Wrongful hurtings, I understand that you've recently posted a similar message. If you are lonely you should avoid isolating yourself. Think about what is best for you. Do not wait for other people to visit you or speak to you. Try to talk to people you meet in public or in breaks at work. Also, find groups of people where you hold a common interest. For example you can join activities that you are genuinely interested in and enjoy - societies or sports. Feeling lonely is normal, it will pass.

jeffatl · May 5, 2006, 03:06 AM

Not trying to be mean here, but you are clingy... From ALL of you threads I have read they SCREAM "I need someone to make me feel important". What you need is to get comforitable with #1... psssssssssssssst that means YOURSELF! You should be happy with yourself, and if you ever want someone to RESPECT you, that is what it is going to take. You are sooooooo young and have a TON to learn. You have some acceptance issues with yourself and need to solve them before you get into another relationship. PERIOD!

fredg · May 5, 2006, 04:41 AM

HI,
I do remember reading some of your other posts.
Have you "gotten out", to be with others?
New friends can be found anywhere; such as Church, Food Stores, volunteer for hospital work, nursing homes, library, etc.
I do agree with other answers about "get out" and be with people.
SMILE, SMILE, SMILE, will show you like yourself and others will like you, too.
Talk about others, not yourself, when you meet someone. LIsten to them, and they will like you for it. Best of luck.

Krs · May 5, 2006, 04:55 AM

You need to think more highly about yourself, boost your self-confidence and get out there and meet people.
Moping at home on your own is not going to help u find people and nor will god. If you truly believe in God - God will help you only if u believe and you have the strength to help yourself.
Be strong and get out there, and be confident and independent NOT clingy and that puts anyone male or female off.
Good luck

fredg · May 5, 2006, 05:31 AM

How old are you?
If you have posted your age before, I am sorry, I forgot.
You really need to get out, meet people, make friends.
Ever thought of volunteering at a hospital, nursing home, library, or such?
SMILE, then Smile more. It shows you like yourself, and will make friends. When you talk with someone, talk about THEM, not you.
You can make more friends in a month listening to them, than in a year with them listening to you.
If you are not sure about any hobbies, then find some! You have to take some steps, if you want to turn your life around. No one can do it for you.

wrongful hurtings · May 6, 2006, 12:56 PM

Ok well interestings threads however I used to be fine doing things by myself and Im OK now I go out and go for walks on the beach etc. but I still feel like I just need a best friend not necssary a girl and not necessary a girlfriend just a good friend that's all Im looking for I can and don't mind doing things by myself but I like to do things not always alone and well I lost my friends because me and my ex had the same ones and they took her side so now Im friendless I think people are getting the wrong message that Im trying to portray

milliec · May 6, 2006, 01:30 PM

I still think the advice in the former posts is very good.
You describe your activities, you "keep your head above the water"- it's not easy to lose all your friends.
But, every post advised you to join activities where you'll have a chance to meet people, and make new friends.
I have no idea where you live, it might be a small place where you'll meet the people who used to be your friends.
It might not be an easy situation, but there will be other people around as well.
Try to get involved in a great variety of activities, and I also think that volunteering (among other things) will improve your feeling:doing something for others, helping others, will make you feel great about yourself
Good luck,
Millie
:)

maria26 · May 8, 2006, 09:21 PM

Listen to everyone and join something... and as far as you losing friends.. I always like the saying "you can't loose something you never had" I hope I am not being harsh... but listen to all the posts, where all saying the same thing!

valinors_sorrow · May 9, 2006, 01:52 PM

When nothing changes, it usually means we do the same thing over and over expecting different results. Its really another way to be a victim of yourself, as strange as that sounds, which is NOT really a victim at all. Please visit a critically ill children's ward soon, for your sake. I would be interested in what you learned.

wrongful hurtings · May 10, 2006, 11:25 PM

Why is that. Girls are attracted to jerks I know why but don't understand it. Also why is it a girl will jump on a emotion but if they think about it and know what they want they stall and maybe not take any actions. I have another question, this is for girls. Do you just do something because its easy like for instance you like this guy but don't want to be with him forever sorry you love him and already agreed to marry him but you change your mind would you leave or stay with him just because its easier, if so WHY?

jeffatl · May 11, 2006, 12:41 AM

People want what they can't have. My guess is that you are coming across a bit too strong buddy. Girls like the jerks, but they never marry them. Im not sure how old you are, but maybe you need to go for some older women. I have come to realize that girls 21 and younger are INSANE (sorry ladies, but you are)... ok guys too. I am 24 now and won't go younger than 22 PERIOD. You need to calm yourself down a bit and start liking yourself again. As for question #2... I have no idea what you are talking about... sorry.

Krs · May 11, 2006, 01:07 AM

Everybody is an individual you can't judge like that.
Yes teenage girls may fall for jerks and jack the lads you know, I did when I was 17, but hey that was surely short lived. But then again are teenage boys nice? NO.
Its all the growing up phase. Thinking you're an adult will in actual fact your just a kid, really.
Im 27 and I don't look back on my teenage years and say I won't go under that than because life is all an experience and you learn from your own mistakes.