[snakebiteadl]

I want her as an orbiter eventually...

[Imabadman]

Orbiter? What the H-E-doubble toothpicks is that?

[vanheart]

Get off that planet. Now you're tripping.

What does that mean? Wait around? As if.

I already answered yours & my question.

Stop the BS, man. Realize its over. And the next steps.

I have proof. Your still waiting.

[snakebiteadl]

Guys, I cancelled the meeting and will go compeltely No contact - its time I started focusing fully on myself.

Can someone explain though, how someone who was so shy and hated socialising, and hated me socialising (which I did often), turn into an absolute maneating social butterfly overnight?

[vanheart]

Nope.
Because it doesn't matter. Remember?

[amicon]

Cancelling the meeting was a good move.

Now stop asking yourself why this, that and the other-focus on you,remember?

[snakebiteadl]

My ex text me to say that obviosuly I am clearly over her as I am going out all the time, and that it is probably best that we didn't meet up sarcastically... to which I gave a very short reply - agreeing with this. This then lead to her posting on her Facebook (I broke nc here - the first of a slippery slope the past two days) that 'she couldn't sleep' - as a direct outcoem of the fact that I am moving on. Like an absolute douchebag - in the morning, I sent her an email saying that we should put the past behind us and still meet up. She said that her gran has potentially got cancer again and needs cheering up (tooled no 1), we meet up at our apartment, which we have until the end of the month and we flirt for a bit, I get a bit physical in the flirtation - she rejects (kind of ) my advances and proceeds to try and make me jealous. When I mention other girls, she gets insanely jealous. However, she basically used last night to get an ego boost - rubbing salt into my wounds and making me feel abd about myself. I have now totally seen her for who she is - an attention seeking schemer. I just wish I hadn't been so weak yesterday and met up with her. Im sorry to myself and to all your excellent advice, I was getting better. Now I feel like I'm almost back to square one.

[the_original]

My ex text me to say that obviosuly i am clearly over her as i am going out all the time, and that it is probably best that we didnt meet up sarcastically...to which i gave a very short reply - agreeing with this. This then lead to her posting on her facebook (i broke nc here - the first of a slippery slope the past two days) that 'she couldnt sleep' - as a direct outcoem of the fact that i am moving on. Like an absolute douchebag - in the morning, i sent her an email saying that we should put the past behind us and still meet up. She said that her gran has potentially got cancer again and needs cheering up (tooled no 1), we meet up at our apartment, which we have until the end of the month and we flirt for a bit, i get a bit physical in the flirtation - she rejects (kind of ) my advances and proceeds to try and make me jealous. when i mention other girls, she gets insanely jealous. however, she basically used last night to get an ego boost - rubbing salt into my wounds and making me feel abd about myself. I have now totalyl seen her for who she is - an attention seeking schemer. I just wish i hadnt been so weak yesterday and met up with her. Im sorry to myself and to all your excellent advice, i was getting better. Now i feel like im almost back to square one.

And this is what happens when you break NC. Don't let her play the game with you man... 99% of the threads posted here (mine included) we say we are going NC, make small improvements, than break the NC and we ARE back to square 1. Take this as a lesson learned. Dude, she cheated on you. How could you ever trust her again? Don't do the friends thing, and don't break NC... even if she does.

All you are right now, is something on the side to cheer her up and give her the feelings she needs until she feels better. Than, it's on to something else. If you keep going back to her every time she tries to contact you, your only making it harder on yourself, yet easier for her. Ask yourself why do you want to do this to yourself? Go no contact, and don't look back until you have absolutely no more feelings for her than you would a stranger walking down the street.

If she breaks no contact, which I guess she will again if history is any indicator, you ignore it. Plain and simple. No matter what she says (and some of them say the darnedest things) DO NOT reply/call/text/message on Facebook, nothing. You will realize eventually I think that this was the best decision you ever made.

Life is to short to be hung up on just one girl, especially one that cheated.

Take Care

[amicon]

The advice you've been given works for most people because its been tried and tested.

Whether you choose to follow the advice is of course up to you.

You are doing this to yourself,nobody else is.
You allow yourself to be played by an expert manipulator

Your choice.

Two and two still makes four,your falling for her cheap tricks-AGAIN-isnt suddenly going to make it five.

.

[snakebiteadl]

Thank you guys - I was in such control Tuesday night, she was clearly upset I ahd moved on, and I gave in. She has always played the guilt card on me, as she knows I am genuine. She has worn me down, over the last three years, putting me down, badgering me about what I am doing, making me feel bad about myself. I am going completely NC now. Otherwise, I fear for my sanity.

[amicon]

Make sure you stick to it.
Ignore a l l her attempts at contact.

Come here and vent instead.

[snakebiteadl]

thank you amicon - you are amazing... dont know what the hell is wrong with me, I'm not adverse to attracting women, I think its an ego thing - I know I don't love her anymore - I'm driven by my need to get back at her s e x ually . I was highly aroused by her last night, which was weird because before we broke up I felt it was more of a chore - hence the reason why she went elsewhere.

[amicon]

Move past those feelings of anger and jealousy-dont waste your time wanting to get back at someone who is a waste of space.

Onwards and upwards-make a list of everything that is good in your life.

[snakebiteadl]

We had some text banter as well last night, as I was foolishly tryign to escalate back into the region of s e x. I said she was a bad girl and that she was naughty, as she was forbidden fruit. She replied with 'forbidden fruit I am' and that she hadn't drifted too far away she was still here, and that she was glad I found her outfit naughty etc etc... and that she was'gorgeous, looked good and I knew it' and that she ahd to get her beauty sleep.

I responded with ' don't big youreslf up too much sweetheart, you'll need plenty of sleep'

she went mad at this sayign hwo horrible I am to her when she is on a downer etc...

She's honestly wired wrong.

and I fall for it every time.

NO LONGER!

I am taking a stand

[amicon]

Forbidden fruit?
More like a rotten apple.

Look,I understand in theory that keeping NC is tough,but I'm one of those people who have nced my exes from the word go,and long before I was calling it NC.

The benefits?

A couple of months down the road after my breakups,I've been over them.

[Newguy2009]

There are plenty of women out there that can fulfill your sexual needs. Why are you still messing with this one?

You even said it felt like a chore so it must have not been that good anyway.

[Imabadman]

She cheated. Nuff said... come on seriously...

[snakebiteadl]

One full week no contact!

I feel so much better right now - starting to see what a user she is, and how she is repeatign the same cycle all over again at her current workplace... i.e befriending somebody, sleeping with someone lese to break up with last guy (me) and then going after another guy she has always wanted, this was translated to me a week ago by a mutual friend.

Guess what has happened also after 7 days NC - I've had four missed calls from her including two really angry voicemails - about a bill that is to be paid (she compeltely overreacted) Im laughing here thinking how now she is wondering where my attention has gone.

How the tables have turned... ive been keeping myself occupied, I've been rock climbing, been out on the pull several nights, getting my old skills back is fun, and I'm off to visit some really special friends from uni this weekend (without the !) She always used to have to tag along, as she knew I had a lot of female attention at uni.

Im feeling much better... and she keeps reminding me why its best we're not together - by being a total !

[Newguy2009]

I feel so much better right now - starting to see what a user she is, and how she is repeatign the same cycle all over again at her current workplace

Its amazing how we can't see what is right in front of us until we take a step back and truly get a grasp on the situation.

Perspectives change when you think rationally. That's one of the biggest lessons Ive learned in life.

[snakebiteadl]

Just don't understand where all her anger has come from, all of a sudden