Check out some similar questions!

unaffected · Sep 29, 2009, 01:35 PM

Great job! You are being very strong, and I think that says a lot about you as a person. Focusing on your studies will prove very beneficial in the end, for many reasons.

And as the days go by, ignoring her in class will just get easier and easier. I'm proud of you!

A4Effort · Sep 29, 2009, 04:33 PM

DAY 1

This sucks... In reality I will be fine but I am just writing here to let out my feelings because I can't stand them being couped up in my heart.

This day sucked. I felt proud to have avoided her all day. But it hurt me so much to have to do this. I feel so empty inside, tired, and unmotivated. I pretended all day to be fine and had to put on this fake personality to seem normal.

kctiger · Sep 29, 2009, 05:17 PM

It is what it is A4. The reality is that you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. What you did today was admirable, I'll tell you that. I wish I had yourself control and strong will.

A lot of these days are going to suck, to be honest. It is hard for you to see the tiny amount of good and healing that takes place on a day to day basis, but trust me, it is happening. Start a daily log if you have to, just be patient and strong.

A4Effort · Sep 29, 2009, 05:43 PM

I might just might have to. Thanks for the positive encouragement. I will be needing plenty more of it through my healing process.

A4Effort · Sep 30, 2009, 12:30 PM

Day 2
Today I did not have any classes with her which made it a bit easier. I feel worse as everyday passes. I have an exam tomorrow and I have not been able to study for it. I can't focus on anything and mind us running wild. I feel naustious and tired. I've been listening to music all day long and tried keeping busy. I don't know what to do with myself.

Got to move on though. I will get better.

DerelictHerds · Sep 30, 2009, 01:20 PM

Don't let this chick control your mind. You got sh*t to take care of

paxe · Sep 30, 2009, 02:14 PM

I was in the same position once (break up during term and close to finals). Well, before any studying time, I'd made sure that I have 2-3 hours of intensive workout. I can tell you after that I was much more in control. Besides it's better to have some quality study instead of lots of non-studying time.

Oh and don't worry it will get better soon, just take care of yourself (guys do I need to remind everyone how important is sport?).

A4Effort · Sep 30, 2009, 09:15 PM

Trust me. The night she told me she wanted to see other guys, I decided to go to my taekwondo school and punch the bag until I could not life my arms. It felt really good and all my anger disappeared.

But this day actually turned out for the better thanks to one of my good friends/martial arts instructor. She talked sense into me and made me realize that it is all right to let go. She said that I had great qualities that any girl would want. Also, I kept on telling her how I was trying this and trying that. She told me to stop saying trying and say that I am doing instead. Instead of trying to get over her. I just just get over her and actually do it instead of try it.

I feel much better now thanks to her. I am so thankful that I have a great support system. I will do much better on the exam, now that I have my confidence back.

Thanks again for all the help.

A4Effort · Oct 1, 2009, 07:03 AM

Day 3:
This is really weird. I did not have any bad dreams about her last night. I woke up fine and did not have an ounce of sadness in me. When I did think about her, I did not have any emotions of sadness, regret, etc.. I can tell today is going to be a good day.

amicon · Oct 1, 2009, 07:07 AM

Good!
Wishing you a great day.

I wish · Oct 1, 2009, 07:09 AM

Hi A4Effort,

It's really great how you're posting a daily update on your progress. It really sounds like you're making a strong "effort". I would definitely give you at "A" right now. However, just to be cautious, it's an conditional "A" because you need to keep it up.

Just a few more pointers. It might get tough at first. It might even get tougher in the early stages. But once you've reach that pinacle, it will only get easier and easier. You just have to keep up the strong effort and I'm sure you can do it.

Keep up the progress and keep us updated.

kctiger · Oct 1, 2009, 07:11 AM

Part of going through a break up and the emotional detox is knowing you will have good days, and bad days, and to be able to just make the most of each.

A4Effort · Oct 1, 2009, 07:55 AM

Im using these strong days to build myself up so that when another weak day comes along I will be able to handle it better.

Yesterday she actually texted me. She told me how one of her family members died and she asked me if I was still covering one of her shifts at the University job that we both work at. I previously agreed to do this and all I did is send her a text saying "Yes. My condolences go out to you and your family." She texted back saying "Wow.....how formal...etc..." I didn't text her back. I wish I could be there for her through these difficult times but I cannot be there for her anymore. I know she has a great support system from her friends and family.

amicon · Oct 1, 2009, 08:02 AM

Polite and formal s good then ignore!

A4Effort · Oct 1, 2009, 06:29 PM

well just writing this down to get it off my chest.

I miss being a good boyfriend. I miss coming home and sharing my day with someone. I miss listening to her talk about hers. I miss cuddeling with her during the day/night. I miss having someone to lean on and have the same person lean on me. I miss cooking together, working together, talking about random things, and having someone by my side. I miss not being lonely. I miss being silly and stupid together. I miss the intamacy and the bond I shared. I miss being there for someone. I miss taking care of her. I miss being spontanious with her. I miss learning from each other. I miss the friendship. I miss her beauty. I miss her waking up next to me in the morning. I miss the warm hugs and soft touch. I miss going places with her. I miss having someone by my side. I miss having a partner, a lover, and a best friend. I miss seeing her face and her beautiful smile. I miss being in a relationship.

I am telling myself that she is not coming back. I am doing all the right things to heal. I am not talking to her, I put away/threw away all her things, and deleted her number/facebook. I keep myself busy with school, work, martial arts, friends, and anything else. But all I can say to myself at the end of the day is that I miss her. I know these feelings will go away. I know I will heal in the end. I know I will find another one day. I know I need to enjoy college now.

paxe · Oct 1, 2009, 07:29 PM

That's kind of normal and you're not alone in this. That's where healing starts for you actually, it's take time and patience. Everyday, inch by inch, you get better. We never said it was going to be easy but when you look back you'll proud of yourself of having done all these positive things.

You have to rebuild your life so that you don't feel lonely and so that you are complete without any girlfriend.

A4Effort · Oct 1, 2009, 07:45 PM

Yeah, I used to be OK with being single way back in high school but then we started dating and I expeirneced something I never have before.My first true love. Since then it has been difficult to convert back. Thanks paxe helping out. Much is appreciate

paxe · Oct 1, 2009, 08:15 PM

No problem man, take it easy, I was in the same shoes and I love the single life. True I do get lonely or sad without companionship sometimes, but that doesn't mean we should hop back into another relationship. Also you will experience it in the future, but you shouldn't "want it", catch the difference?
Anyhow keep venting or posting how you're doing.

A4Effort · Oct 2, 2009, 06:19 AM

Why is it that young women tend to "question" more?
I know some many couples that broke up because the woman was "questioning." I read this too somewheres in a psychological journal and still do not understand why. The journal also said that men on average tend to want commitment more and do not question as much. I do not remember what their reasoning was hence why I am asking here.

My girlfriend was in love with me (or at least that's what she said to me). We had are ups and downs but we worked on them and had a great relationship. Even though we are not together we still have feelings for each other. So why is it that she was questioning?

Was it because she is still young (20) and needs to explore other herself and date other people before she commits to one guy? But why if she tells me all the time she enjoys every quality of mine and said that there was never anything wrong with me.

I just want to know because during the break up I asked her this and she could not explain this to me in a way that I understood.

I wish · Oct 2, 2009, 06:32 AM

I don't know if you can generalize and say that "young women" question more.

It's more like this, people need time to figure things out and build our confidence level. So during the process, we question everything around us.

There are many contributing factors:

1) Some people are more open about questioning and ask the question out-loud. While some people keep the question to themselves and quietly try to find the answer.

2) Some people already got their answers from other means, such as reading or talking to older brothers/sisters/cousins.

3) Some people feel as though they have all the answers. If there's soemthing new, then they'll learn it.

4) It's also a question of curiosity. Some people just aren't as curious as others.

However, I think that confidence is the biggest contributing factor. If you aren't confident about something, it's good to go out and find the answer. Asking question is not a good or bad thing, it's just a way of building self-esteem.