[zippit]

So what's your update how do you feel after the discussions you had here?

[justcurious82]

justcurious,

What bothers me most about what you have written (I don't think it can be emphasized enough) is his drinking and driving. That is one habit that he needs to quit before he injures or kills someone. It isn't just his life that he puts at risk.

How much of your upset over him going out to the bars is fear that he won't come home? I am wondering if you are scared of the police showing up on your doorstep at 4 am. Have you even allowed yourself to admit that fear is there?

I do admit that I think about that every time. I have dated someone in the past that had this problem, and did wake up with a phone call at 3 am saying he was in jail. So yes, this does worry me.

[justcurious82]

so whats your update how do you feel after the discussions you had here?

I feel a little bit better, still confused. I think that I am scared to make such a life changing decision. What if my decision is wrong... then what??

[none12345]

I feel a little bit better, still confused. I think that I am scared to make such a life changing decision. What if my decision is wrong...then what???

Making a decision is better than wasting time and standing still.

Make the decision that you think is the best for you and don't look back.

[Wondergirl]

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 10

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back. 15

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

(by Robert Frost)

[zippit]

You could do a list of pros & cons
I can tell you this in the last few weeks it does seem like the economy here is picking up a little I have noticed more jobs popping up.
Does he have any other skills? Could you get him out of the restaurant biz. like you said most his friends are waiters I think if he had a day job especially something that was harder work w/ more pay he might break this habit of partying after work.