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Wildcat21 · Jul 27, 2006, 07:45 AM

"hunny its not what you think" - what is this guy - a comedian. Cousin? Then WHY didn't he be a man and come forward and introduce his 'cousin' to you??

This guy is real scum for that. How many other 'cousins' are there?

valinors_sorrow · Jul 27, 2006, 09:44 AM

Sometimes you have to back up a few hundred yards to see the big picture, the real picture and you have done that beautifully. Gently suggests that it might be prudent to notice how close you came to being fooled by this man and make a few personal decisions now that support you not being so easily fooled ever again. I don't mean cultivate being paranoid or being jaded and especially not bitter since that is a bad one. Just add a small dose of reasonable caution and a commitment to yourself to go a little slower (so you have time to verify who someone is) next time. You are a smart one and so I thought this would be a good idea for you. Just a thought that I hope is helpful. :)

dkh4863 · Jul 31, 2006, 05:57 AM

IM ASHAMED OF MYSELF!!
I let him into my life again. Hee came knocking at 2 am crying he loved me and can't live without me. I let him stay the night. That was Friday. He left earlie satmorning. I haven't heard frm him since. I new it was too good to be true but I guess I STUPID!
I called him and left a message nevercall me or come here again and I can't take this emotional ****!
Why am I so gulable.? HELP!! HOWAM I EVER GOING TO GET OVER THIS??
HUGS DEB

talaniman · Jul 31, 2006, 06:11 AM

Your not stupid or gulliable, just human with feelings. When life knocks you down get up dust yourself off and continue the journey, never give up on YOURSELF.

Cassie · Jul 31, 2006, 07:08 AM

Well, now you know for sure what he is like. Maybe you just needed that true taste of reality for it to sink in and make you know that is never going to work.

Wildcat21 · Jul 31, 2006, 12:26 PM

"I havent heard frm him since. " - PLEASE REMEMBER THIS. = MASSIVE JERK.

Don't answer the door at 2 am anymore... let me guess - he was drunk. He's a big boy - he can move on.

Wildcat21 · Jul 31, 2006, 12:27 PM

You know where he was and who he was with.

valinors_sorrow · Jul 31, 2006, 03:00 PM

The key isn't that you trusted him too much, it's that you don't trust you enough. It isn't that you bought his lies as much as you didn't believe your truths. Its solved by having a conversation with yourself about yourself, not him. Quit externalizing it. Leave him completely out of it for a minute, okay? You knew and you knew you knew but you did it anyway and so long as YOU can run over you that easily, so will the rest of the world, especially him. Besides, there are more like him out there too. It really does work that way, I am not kidding! Please Deb, no more picking on yourself--that only gives you more reason not to trust you and it deepens the whole thing... you know what they say about if you find yourself in a hole, quit digging!

If need be, as silly as this seems :D write yourself a letter ("Dear Self...") about how smart you are, how capable you are, how sincere and wonderful and funny and lovely you really are and then agree to take better care of you and start trusting your guts more. Then sign your name as your pledge, your commitment and hang it in some prominent place to give you reason to think about it along these lines. I know this as surely as I know my own name... You DEB... are worth it!

Skell · Jul 31, 2006, 04:06 PM

No not stupid at all. Mistakes are their to be made. Its how we react and learn from them
You probably needed to make this mistake so you realise never to make it again.
You'll be fine. Just go and read this thread from start to finish again and all the advice you received. It still applies.
Stay strong.

dkh4863 · Jul 31, 2006, 04:08 PM

Thanks you all are so so so great!! 1
I am going to do my best to not answer to his crap.
I'm sorry I fell again... I will come out stroger.. I ALREADY DID
HUGS dEB

dancingtwins · Oct 11, 2006, 11:48 AM

You go girl. I am very proud of you... You move on with your life and when it is the right one you will know it. He isn't it.

ADW76 · Dec 11, 2006, 02:51 PM

Quit sleeping with him and see if he still comes around!! Don't mean to sound rude, but it sounds to me like he is using you.

lil_mandy · Jan 30, 2007, 07:38 AM

A man that could do such things to a gril is a jerk! Plain and simple , he used you as a bit on the side hunnie am sorrie to say .You ex properly was seeing his ex wife trying to build their marriage or that up behind your back .

You shouldn't meet uo with him whether he begs you or not take a stand he as been using you for the last eight months or so and was trying something different properly before he went back to his ex. He is confused about his feelings and obviously wants you as a safety net .

Get out , GET OUT no one should have to put up with such haeart ache as you over this guy even if he's being nice or not .Find someone that can love you and not leave you high and dry then come back for a little comfort after a fight change your number don't see him its hurting you more than anything think of yourself first please get out .

schoolgirl123 · Mar 7, 2007, 05:28 PM

I say that you break up with him. I am with a guy who done this with me and another girl, except that I am in the situation of him cheating on his girlfriend with me. He stopped seeing her for a while and stopped talking to her because he was always with me instead of her. It sounds like what your saying, how he stopped seeing you for 3 weeks. Its sad how love can ruin someone's life. Trust me I've been there. Don't beat yourself up for it, because you didn't do anything, that's just how ALL guys are. ANd with the whole thing that he's telling you he's a virgin... I would use a condom just in case. Don't take a chance.. its your life that you can ruin just because of a little lie. You don't wantt an STD. I hope this helped.. and good luck <3