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ardahk · Feb 9, 2009, 04:23 AM

Sorry to hear what you are going through packer but you really do have to move on.. Whether you still want him or whether you think you can be together in the future you have to move on. Clinging on to this false hope is only stalling your healing process.

Just remember that a lot of us on here have gone through similar pain of some sort. And the best way to get past this is to not call, not talk, no contact! Just try getting busy and not looking for that special person.

Just like everyone says, you cannot change someone and their feelings - this is how he feels right now. Maybe in a couple of years he won't feel the same and by then you would have had the time to get over your feelings which actually allows you to be just friends.

It is absolutely imperative that you continue to not contact him and not respond to his calls and texts. Help yourself move on, so you can help yourself to maybe find that right person for you - there is no point going crazy over someone who isn't on the same frequency as you.

If you do not move on you will never Mr. Right - use this to help you move on. Nobody is ever too old for love, just give yourself a chance.

packer04 · Feb 13, 2009, 08:49 PM

Thank you everyone. I have been seeing my counselor, going out with friends more and just doing some things I want to so. I so wanted to remain his friend, but I feel I no longer can. Most of you know that I dated him for 4-5 months and have not been seeing him for the last 2 months or so. I met him while I was volunteering at the Sheriffs Department 7 months ago. Still there even after breaking off with him. Never seen him there(as I was on a different floor then him) Loved my volunteer work and he knows I did. Well after 7 months of volunteer work my Lt called me and said we wouldn't be needing your volunteer services anymore, but maybe there are other areas in the dept. So I called the lady in charge of volunteers and there is nothing right now. I thought something was up, so I called him and just asked how his week was, and he said not good it involved me. He said other employees found out that we use to date(which I said nothing) and I didn't ask how they knew. So he said to me he would not call me anymore and he wanted no contact with me. So I said okay be happy and have a great life. So that's it. But I am upset by the fact he ditched me as a friend and I think did away with my volunteer work. (hes a Captain and he did say his Chiefs talked to him) I just don't get it why would he do that? I am a good person, never talked of him or anyone I was with. I don't know what I did, but I never meant for him to be angry with me for what I don't know and to hurt me. I am trying to figure out what I did wrong. Can anyone out there tell me what I did?? Well that's it. Its for sure now over for me. The hurt and pain have to go. Thanks everyone. I know I will get over him and I know there is always someone out there to love and love me and be a friend. I guess he was no friend.

packer04 · Mar 13, 2009, 10:47 PM

Just wanted to say little by little I am moving on. Haven't much thought of him since he ask me not to contact him. Now I am getting my life together. Not going to look for anyone as of now. Have to start getting my esteem back and being more positive of myself. I have been more positive about everything and more grateful for what I have. Sure I will miss the companionship, but in time that will come to me. I know there is someone special for each of us. So have been with friends more, working out, classes, doing things that I want to do for a change. I know I am a great gal whom will get that great guy for me. I have to go on and go on with me and my life. Thank you everyone.

cozyk · Mar 14, 2009, 01:36 AM

The only reason he says he wants to still be friends is because he is trying not to be cruel. He thinks the "i like you as a friend" speech is kinder than just saying, "I'm not interested anymore, go away."

The only thing wrong with that is that it keeps you hanging on... waiting for crumbs. So, ironically, he is doing more damage to you with the "we can be friends" thing.

Your heart is broken and I understand that. We have all been there. I am so sorry for your pain but there is one thing I know for sure. You WILL get over this. You have glorified him because you can't have him. Some day you will see that, I promise.