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talaniman · Feb 2, 2008, 08:49 AM

When you wake up, get back on the wagon.

HistorianChick · Feb 2, 2008, 09:23 AM

Shake it off. Get up. Go on.

You can do this.

J_9 · Feb 2, 2008, 09:31 AM

And I had 3 cigarettes yesterday. We aren't perfect. We fall off the wagon sometimes. The point is to realize that we are human and that we make mistakes.

Now, you need to go to AA, find another group if you felt uncomfortable with the first (and remember, you will feel uncomfortable until you make some friends there), and get yourself a sponsor. A sponsor is someone who you can call at any time of the day or night when you feel the need to drink. Sponsors have even been known to come to you in your time of need.

You can do this. Just take it one day at a time... one hour at a time if you have to.

justme005 · Feb 2, 2008, 10:27 AM

Thanks for the encouragement... I know I can do this...

So yesterday, I'm in class (its a forum class) we just all talk about our practicum and how we feel being in the field of music therapy for the 1st time... so during class the teacher (my advisor) was asking us to reflect and stuff.. no one was answering so I went first and opened up and talked about stuff... then everyone else went and I just listened... at the end of class my teacher asks me to stay after a minute.. os everyone leaves and its me and him... he's like so what's going on? I'm like uh nothing... hes like you were different today... I was like how so?? (I was so confused) he's like you were more reserved today... I was like ohhh I don't know... that's just how it is today and like grabbed my coat and left. It was so awkward.I think he may be starting to sense that I am not rite... not myself... is it because of this drinking thing? I don't know what he meant and what he was trying to get at... I think he may want me to open up to him and stuff about practicum and my life. Lol.hes a therapist so I guess he senses stuff... any ideas of what I should do or say to him? Should I shoot him an email? Just saying I'm sorry but I'm going through some of my own things.. just to give him an idea... or should I just forget it... ahhh!

You folks are so nice to me and I know ull have some helpful feedback :/

HistorianChick · Feb 2, 2008, 11:12 AM

Your professor is being a good teacher. He's noticing that you're going through something and is trying to help. Maybe set up an appointment with him and just talk. You said he's a therapist, maybe he can give you some pointers about finding a sponsor.

Have you tried to find out about your school guidance counselor? She/he could help you too...

I think the people around you (like your professor) are noticing that you're going through a difficult time. Maybe they are seeing a new resolve in you. Darlin, you went 5 days without drinking. That's an awesome first step. Its very possible that they are seeing that you're different... because you were completely sober, not hung over, or waiting for the next party. That's awesome, Hon.

Don't be afraid to talk to people that can help. I'd make an appointment with your professor and go from there.

Music therepy? That sounds amazing. You go, girl. :)

Remember, its never wrong to ask for help.

justme005 · Feb 2, 2008, 12:25 PM

Thanks so much... I'm nervous talking to him though... but I really want too... ill see how things go and maybe ill set up something w. him :)

peggyhill · Feb 2, 2008, 12:33 PM

I think that's a gread idea. Hang in there, hon. One day at a time. And you're doing really good! Just because you messed up once, doesn't mean that you failed. It's a battle that you have to fight every day, and when you mess up, just dust yourself off and keep on going. I think that Historian Chick made a really good point about how people are noticing the difference because you are sober and have a strong resolve. So good for you!

justme005 · Feb 2, 2008, 11:37 PM

Aww... your going to kill me... I blew it again... :( I had a few beers and smoked some bowls... I'm not drunk though and I am not going to black out... so that's still good, rite? Oh well... ill ttyl

talaniman · Feb 3, 2008, 04:32 AM

No its not good at all, Without the physical consequenses there is no motivation or fear to quit. It's a false sense of security, and its easier to keep getting high, than to go through the rigors of sobriety.

HistorianChick · Feb 3, 2008, 07:53 AM

No, Darlin, that's not still good.

Its so easy to slip back into the habit... "just a few beers" is not good.

You've got to take control of your cravings. You are stronger than this.

Talk to a counsellor. You need to start actively pursuing help on this one. I think its time.

Come on girl, you can do this. :)

justme005 · Feb 3, 2008, 10:49 AM

But what if... I only drink on the weekends? I know its still no good... but I WAS drinking every single day of the week... you no? Yeaa I don't like talking to people or confrontation... a counsler would get me to say things I don't want too and make assumptions. I feel like I can just do this on my own, but if I need help I know where to go.

talaniman · Feb 3, 2008, 10:57 AM

The best way to quit alcohol, is listening to those that have quit. It doesn't matter whether you drink on the weekends, or once a month. When it becomes a problem, you need to deal with it. Just because you didn't puke your A$$ off today, doesn't mean you won't tomorrow. Just my opinion, but in my experience, you will not seek help, until it gets bad for you, so its your choice, what you do from here. Drink up.

J_9 · Feb 3, 2008, 10:58 AM

What if you only drink on the weekends? What will make you stop drinking during the week? An alcoholic must stay away from all forms of alcohol at all times.

What if I just smoke my cigarettes on the weekend? I'm still addicted or I wouldn't be smoking at all, right? Well, same goes with alcohol.

Hun, a counselor will never make assumptions. That's not what they do.

You do need help. And very few alcoholics can do it on their own.

N0help4u · Feb 3, 2008, 11:56 AM

Yep as talaniman and J_9 said there is what is called weekend alcoholics
If you can't go without it no matter what your pattern is if you can't break it/go without it it is an addiction.

HistorianChick · Feb 3, 2008, 02:48 PM

Darlin, you're going to have to decide if your pride is more important than ridding your body of this addiction.

No one can make that decision, but you.

justme005 · Feb 4, 2008, 10:32 AM

Okk folks, I understaand... I feel so terrible todaay I got drunk and high aagin last night. I can't pull myself together to go talk to anyone.. I just cant.. I don't no y.. I think I'm denying this problem rite now... I was trashed... oh mann. I was doing so good w. 5 days sober... now I'm bak in the groove of drinking every night again.

And yes, there are parts of last night I can't remember.

But the giants won!! AHHH very excitng.

HistorianChick · Feb 4, 2008, 10:37 AM

Like we have all said before, No one is going to make you stop drinking than yourself. If you decide you are going to stop, then YOU are going to have to make it happen. Make up your mind.

You're going to have to get over your embarrassment about talking to someone and just do it. You have the power to stop, but you need the support to make it.

You were doing well last week... and you can do it again.

justme005 · Feb 4, 2008, 10:45 AM

I know...

HistorianChick · Feb 4, 2008, 10:48 AM

That's the thing...

Darlin, YOU KNOW.

Take a page out of Nike's book and Just Do It.

justme005 · Feb 4, 2008, 06:45 PM

Okk so if I did go to a counsler, what would I say? "hey, i like alcohol, i have black outs when i drink alot, i have low self confidence, im scared im gunna lose my liver by the age of 25..." what the hell are these people going to do for me? I'm going to talk, they are going to tell me I have a problem... when really, I'm not even an alcoholic (yet) my mind is just messed up... I've done drugs in my past and its effected my thinking now and forever... but you no? I can't take it bak now. I have to live w. it. I'm very stressed out... I am just starting my practicum and I have to play and sing in front of people I know and don't know... everything is piling up and I need to grow up already. I have to pull myself together. I have to.