[talaniman]

update:

it seems that i have no life other than askmehelpdesk.com but then again, i can't help it.
Me either.

...i have this evil desire to come on the site, look up people that are in worse shape than i am...and giggle. of course, offer advice...but giggle as well.
Its to sad sometime to see growing pains hurt so much, I can smile now and try to help, but when your going thru it, life sucks bad.
i know it's bad.
YEP, thats bad, but it gets better.

SUE was wondering if i would ever consider her more than just friends. ...oof.
Uh, oh, Casonova's head is getting bigger.
i told her, that is def a possibility, as we get along so great, but as of right now, i really need some time. (that damn "need some time"). but i also told her that i'd still really like to hang out during winter break (...my friends went home..)
You could use a friend, but be cautious.
this is my view on SUE.
Nice rhymn, player
...SUE is not very attractive...physically. her personality and maturity kicks super ...to the point that i'm completely overlooking her appearance. she came over today, to drop off a cup of coffee from sbucks as i'm pulling an all nighter.
Your such a cheap date.
1. that's better than any of my gfs have done for me. granted, my ex didnt have a car...but she wouldnt have picked up coffee for me if she had one.
Thats cause she didn't know how easy you were, LOL
2. also, SUE is new...so of course she'd be sweet to me. regardless, it made an impact.
Hot coffee always does.
back to the point at hand, my buddies came over tonight to study with me, and SUE was here (with the coffee). she left after a while, and...you know how guys get when they get together. they were a teeny bit insulting...jokingly. i asked them, seriously...what they thought. and they said that she seemed nice.
Hot coffee, your kidding she is great, and right on time.
when my buddies left, i went back to my room, found a note by SUE, just wishing me luck on my finals. overall, things are looking up.
Aw, that was as sweet as it gets. Was she right on time or what. Was a female manual under her arms?
keep me entertained. tell me about your lives. i get bored easily. senioritis.
Between the coffee and the note you'll be up all night, thinking of Sue, did she have her manual? Could you be studying from the wrong books?

Feel better yet. Good luck with finals:D

[ISneezeFunny]

Update:

It's 3am. The library is still packed. I find myself constantly checking my profile to see if anyone anywhere updated or replied. I thirst for some internet contact.

Studying.

[ISneezeFunny]

Update:

It's 3am. The library is still packed. I find myself constantly checking my profile to see if anyone anywhere updated or replied. I thirst for some internet contact.

Studying.

[ISneezeFunny]

GRAHHHHHHHH!!

It's 437am.

JUST happened to run into my ex online. Group study session via webchat.

The suspicious kid was on there too. Out of curiosity (he's not in our study group) so I asked him why he's there.

Ex got really defensive... and again, she's NOT the type to get defensive. She said that she did nothing wrong. She also claims that she knows what's going on... and I don't. So I don't have any room to talk.

... my smart mouth replied:

no. the world knows what's going on. You don't.

... damnit! GrahhH!!

Apparently, he is in the webchat because he's in her room. Fantastic.

I am at a loss for words. I want to tell her so badly that she IS doing something wrong. She also said that I had no room to talk as I did the same to her when we broke up.

Flashback: we dated for 5 months a WHILE ago. After 5 months, I wasn't feeling it. So we broke up. We remained friends, but about 2 weeks after we broke up, I got together with another girl... that one didn't work out. So we got back together. So this is what she's referring to.

There's a difference.

1. we dated 5 months back then. Hardly a serious relationship. This time, we've been dating for 3 years.

2. back then, when the new girl was talking to me, I told her everything. Mainly because I believed in honesty when we were together. I told my ex that she called... she wanted this... she wanted that... etc. I was honest. This time, she is being sketchy as hell. Everyone comes up to me to ask me, WHAT'S THAT GUY DOING IN HER ROOM FOR THE PAST WEEK?. I don't know?

3. I waited 2 weeks for a 5 month relationship. She waited 3 days for a 3 year relationship. Hardly the same.

I'm contemplating calling her a b*tch . What is going on in her head... I will never know. How can this have happened? What... is going on..!

[ISneezeFunny]

7am.

... worse shape than day 1 of break up.. . lack of sleep + worrying about finals + knowing that suspicious kid is in bed with my ex at this moment...

... there should be a new word that describes how I feel.

It's that feeling of your heart feeling like it's filled with a hot liquid, constantly making you feel like you have to vomit. Knowing that you would feel better... only if you could drag that kid into the middle of the street and beat him senselessly until your arms went numb.. . however, I am not a violent person.

I just need to get through today. Only today. Let me get through today.

[George_1950]

Follow the words in your signature from Satchel Paige; No Contact, pal. Quit sticking your hand in the fire. No Contact. You will be fine.

[talaniman]

I would say your doing this to yourself, now. Get some sleep. A lot of it as your losing it right now, and looking pretty bad.

[ISneezeFunny]

It is very true that I am doing this to myself. But as of right now, I can't focus on jack.

... im going to step back and take a look at this situation, and what the hell happened in the past week.

... my girlfriend of 3 years who is known for being extremely nice, sensitive, and caring... just broke up with me, got with another guy within 3 days, just yelled at me for asking what's going on, and have told her friends to NOT talk to me. What... the... hell?

... I look at this situation and I laugh... did she just really do that 180? Really? Can that really happen like that? It usually takes me a minute or two to order food at a restaurant... and at least 2 - 3 days before I decide to buy something...

She just made a complete 180... in a week. Personality... way she talks... everything.

... women... I bow to you guys.

[George_1950]

I think you are kidding yourself; this is another symptom of what one goes through in breaking-up and heartache: "oh, i'm not being romantic, but just being the nice, concerned guy.' It might be good (and therapeutic) for you to go back and write-out the events of each day, but wait til you are finished with your papers and exams. One thing you should notice is that you are posting under, "I'm doing NC; what about her?" You need to realize that you are Anything But NC, perhaps that could be the name of your new thread.

[talaniman]

I agree with you there Geo. He keeps shooting himself in the foot, and ain't nofeet left to shoot. His role in this drama is HUGE.

[ISneezeFunny]

Ouch.

I guess I deserved that one.

Yes, yes. I am not doing nc. I was doing so damn well the first week, and then I found out that she has a new guy and my world is crumbling before me. Damn it.

I've realized... around 10am this morning, that it is indeed done. Over. Finito. Fin.

Should have listened... thought I was listening... thought I was doing well... then I flubbed it.

I will update after last final. Thanks to all those who beat me on this thread.

[George_1950]

I go at it this way: whenever I think about something I did with her or she did for me, and smile, it is a great memory. Whenever I think of doing something now or in the future with her and I smile, I pinch myself; I think about the wonderful things I've read right here, at AMHD. It is called NC and it is good. It hurts to write like this, but it is called "heart insurance". For my own part, I just want to put it away in a special place so that it does not come back; and learn from it so that it never happens again.

[ISneezeFunny]

Well, as for me, whenever I think about the future, she is not in it.

Finals are over. I feel... SO relieved. I didn't do as well as I could have, but it's over nonetheless.

I'm feeling good. Just had to get done with finals in order to get my life together.

Roomie just turned 21. What a widdle baby. Haha. Party. Relatively tipsy as I write this, which is surprising as I am not much of a drinker. I'll have a glass of wine at dinner, but nothing like this.

Regardless, I'm going to bed. Making up for a lack of 70 something odd hours of no sleep.

... clean all day tomorrow. I'll be bored. So I'll update. Adios.

[ISneezeFunny]

Oof. Last night was... kinda crazy. Met a lot of new people though, had a good time.

Woke up this morning to find SUE next to me..! Nothing happened. Trust me. I went to bed by myself. Found out that she was in the area, didn't feel like driving 45 min home (it was around 4am), and came over. Also woke up to find my apt spotless... clean.

SUE cleaned it. Nice gesture?

Regardless, I will be doing much better now that finals are over. Now that I'm not too stressed, I can actually do NC and stick with it. Just had a rough time during finals mainly because I couldn't focus on studying, and I couldn't do other things to get my mind off it due to finals. Catch 22.

Will update periodically during the winter. Hope everyone's having a great time. Anyone in the North Carolina area during jan 11 - 13? Anyone like to snowboard? I'm heading up to sugar mountain around then. Anyone? Anyone?

[George_1950]

Have a safe holiday, Sneeze, and keep your mind right; watch out for those well-intentioned tricks.

[ISneezeFunny]

Update:

So it's been... a few days. I look back and still go... DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN? But... I'm doing OK.

Been keeping busy... work, friends, just hanging. I keep thinking, MAN THIS HEALING PROCESS IS TAKING FOREVER! And realize that... it's only been 2 weeks since we broke up, and about a week since we did the NC thing... so I guess I'm expecting too much, too soon. Regardless, again. Keeping busy.

SUE and I have been getting along great. Things are going good. How's everyone else doing?

[Wondergirl]

Glad things are going OK for you. I'm off work now until Wednesday, have been baking Christmas cookies like mad. The cats got early gifts of catnip toys, so are busy attacking those and then sleeping deeply afterwards. The weather has been grey and coldish with a storm in Kansas headed this way. My own family lives in western NY and are buried under at least 8 inches of snow, so I won't see them. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day will be spent right here while surrounded by books and cats.

[ISneezeFunny]

Oof, I'm going to get murdered by the people here...

So... update on SUE.

I'm not sure if I've updated about SUE (new girl)... but we've been hanging out relatively. Of course, I have my guard up... most of the time, not wanting to get attached to her. Well, she knows my ENTIRE situation. She knows I'm not over my ex... she knows that I don't want to get involved in a relationship... I just simply wanted to just... hang out. Go to the movie. Go to dinner. Things of that nature.

Well, since a few days ago, she's been wanting to spend time... a lot. Every day. She calls... twice a day. So I talked to her and said:

I would rather not get involved in anything yet. If I do, then you will be a rebound. I like you as a person... we get along great. I don't want you to be my rebound. So please, can we slow it down a bit. Take it down a notch?

She understood. She was awesome... then she came over at 3am, wanting to sleep over. ::warning light::. Nothing happened. We just talked all night, and cuddled.

In the morning, I woke up to the smell of blueberry muffins baking in the oven... the sound of my washing machine going off... and my dishwasher going off. (oh no). She's cleaning my apt.

What stinks is this: she can clean... like a maid. She can cook... like a grandmother. She does everything... right. On paper, she's perfect. Damn. Fast forward a day or two. Last night, we went out for dinner as it was her birthday. I took her out to dinner, good food, good conversation, etc. we end up back at my place. We watch a movie... but we both pass out in the middle of it. I wake up this morning to the smell of crêpes. Crêpes!! What is going on?!

Her toothbrush is at my sink. She has her facial cleanser here, etc. damn.

Tonight, I told her that I might be going to a coffee shop, just to go read a book, etc.. She calls me and asks, WHERE ARE YOU?. what? She's been waiting for me at the coffee shop.. . I replied by saying, I NEVER SAID THAT I'D BE THERE DEFINITELY... I SAID MAYBE... AND... I Didn't INSINUATE FOR YOU TO BE THERE... YOU SIMPLY ASKED WHAT I WAS DOING TODAY SO I TOLD YOU. She says YEAH, I JUST WANTED TO SEE YOU...

... so we had a talk. Again. About how I'm not ready for such a committed relationship... how I felt suffocated, how much I see her. Granted, I told her that I enjoyed spending time with her, but right now, I got to do my own thing.

... she got upset (rightfully so). But I had to do it. I couldn't be in this quasi-relationship... just couldn't. She said she'd leave me alone, and give me my space, and told me to call her when I'm ready to move on. Told her that I'd see her in a few weeks.

... oof. OK. You guys can take your shots.

[ilovcali]

Hmm... that happened to me when I experienced my worst break-up ever. I met an awesome girl the following week. She was better in every way than my ex, but her problem was, she was not my ex. I was not as good a person as you. I had sex with her but then I didn't want to spend any QT with her. I was awful. She always called, sometimes to even wish me good night.

She tried hard for 2 months and then finally gave up. I lost a good girl. But I wasn't ready and I never really felt bad that I missed a chance with her. I just wasn't ready.

Anyway, it happens, and you're doing the right thing. And if you really can't be with her now, you should stop seeing her. You may lose her, but in the long run, you probably are doing the right thing.

--Cali

[Wondergirl]

what stinks is this: she can clean...like a maid. she can cook...like a grandmother. she does everything...right. on paper, she's perfect. damn.

I vote for Sue. Grab her before she gets away.