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Questions2007 · Sep 4, 2007, 05:41 AM

4 weeks to the day of no contact! Two more days and it will be a record for me!

We split up 6 months ago, she ran the whole lets be friends line. I let her do that, she clearly wanted to do that to 1) ease her guilt; 2) for someone to hang out with until she found a new bloke. I said we couldn't be friends 4 weeks ago, and I wouldn't contact her, and only expected to hear from her if she wants to talk about us.

Questions2007 · Nov 6, 2007, 09:46 AM

Originally Posted by Numb

I just had this idea after reading Mik's post.

How about if we use this thread to count the NC days, all of us? Each one would mention how long he/she's been maintaining the NC period and how he/she feels with time.
Maybe in some way this can help us all (including me)?

This is my first NC day.. Afternoon here, so far didn't even touch my phone. I don't know how I feel, but I'm not that miserable, I have a goal and thinking about it, NOT HER!

What about the rest of you?

3 months to the day. Impressed with myself! I am way happier now, and know that if the ex ever contacts me I will be rationale in deciding whether to meet. I have felt myself thinking that now I see things with a clearer head (I am not sure I want to get back together with her) I was debating whether seeing how she is at somepoint soon! Is that a good or bad idea? I know from a mutual friend she is still single, is not happy with it, but thinks that I have no interest in seeing her. Thoughts?

madaman · Nov 6, 2007, 09:48 AM

Thursday will be 10 weeks for me... Crazy.

crushedovernover · Nov 6, 2007, 09:57 AM

I am going on my 4 month with zero contact. It is tough. My ex has a boyfriend who is down visiting her. It's a big pill to swallow but remember gents, she is no longer yours so just let go. I have trouble some days but there is nothing I can do. Good luck to you guys. It is a long and bumpyroad.

Jiser · Nov 6, 2007, 12:16 PM

Since July now! :)

Probably for ever also now.

kuulski · Nov 6, 2007, 01:58 PM

3 months and feeling good. Still miss her allot but I don't dwell on it as much as I uset too.
Not interested in dating right now either. Most girls I have met for whateva reason just don't interest me.

Unconditional85 · Nov 6, 2007, 05:41 PM

Last time I spoke with my ex was on Oct 24 so tomorrow will be two weeks.. that day she called while I was in class I wouldn't had picked up if I knew it was her but she called private and I thought it was one of my friends who always calls private... when I picked up she sounded shy.. n then just said that she was calling to see if I was still alive?. I actually called her two days after that out of anger of hearing that she was walking around my neighborhood with her new boyfriend.. that was it.. even though this NC works I feel like we are all stuck waiting for them to call in my case the day she called even if it was for her dumb question it gave me some sense of relief not even hope but just brighten the day to know that she had to be thinking of me in order for her to call... I don't like feeling like I have to rely or wait for her to call to give me this sense of peace of mind... Do any of you feel the same way??

Questions2007 · Dec 7, 2007, 05:41 AM

Originally Posted by Numb

I just had this idea after reading Mik's post.

How about if we use this thread to count the NC days, all of us? Each one would mention how long he/she's been maintaining the NC period and how he/she feels with time.
Maybe in some way this can help us all (including me)?

This is my first NC day.. Afternoon here, so far didn't even touch my phone. I don't know how I feel, but I'm not that miserable, I have a goal and thinking about it, NOT HER!

What about the rest of you?

4 months to the day. I am please I am still sticking to the No Contact. I am now starting to move on, been out on dates etc. I am wondering if she will ever call but there you go, who knows!?

Although I had a bad spell last week when I almost rang her! Should I ever call her?

talaniman · Dec 7, 2007, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by Questions2007

4 months to the day. I am please I am still sticking to the No Contact. I am now starting to move on, been out on dates etc. I am wondering if she will ever call but there you go, who knows!!??

Although I had a bad spell last week when I almost rang her!! Should I ever call her??

Why mess up the healing process, with a moment of insanity?? After you have healed, now that's another story. Most here who have been through the process, have no urge to call the ex. Go figure!!

Questions2007 · Dec 7, 2007, 08:13 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Why mess up the healing process, with a moment of insanity??? After you have healed, now thats another story. Most here who have been thru the process, have no urge to call the ex. Go figure!!!

I think that is right Tal. I need to be in a place where I am ambivalent about her. I won't want to call her then anyway. If she does call, I can deal with things with a clear head, which, realistically, by then will probably mean ignoring any call from her or being very blunt.

Sometimes I have moments where I nearly slip though. I have guarded against that! Her numbers have been deleted from my phone and are written down and put away. On the one occasion when I nearly called, by the time I had got the number, I saw sense!

Although I am starting to move to an anger to an ambivalence phase now. If she calls, I will deal with it, if not, well it means it is her loss.

bustertypsy · Dec 7, 2007, 10:21 AM

I am at the 2 month mark.It has been a tough,tough 2 months.I was in a daze for the first month.Then I thought I had it beaten,then wallop,more pain and suffering.So although I am healing I do expect tough days ahead.I am proud of myself and will not break NC.If she ever wants me back,she'll have to come to me.That way we would be entering back on equal terms,giving our relationship a much better chance.If I chased her and even got her back,then I would be walking on eggshells forever after.So NC is the way to go,it can do absolutely no harm,but a hell of a lot of good.You will have your dignity intact and walk with your head tall.

Questions2007 · Dec 7, 2007, 10:27 AM

Originally Posted by bustertypsy

I am at the 2 month mark.It has been a tough,tough 2 months.I was in a daze for the first month.Then I thought I had it beaten,then wallop,more pain and suffering.So although I am healing I do expect tough days ahead.I am proud of myself and will not break NC.If she ever wants me back,she'll have to come to me.That way we would be entering back on equal terms,giving our relationship a much better chance.If I chased her and even got her back,then I would be walking on eggshells forever after.So NC is the way to go,it can do absolutely no harm,but a hell of a lot of good.You will have your dignity intact and walk with your head tall.

It is tough but it sounds like you are doing way better than most at the two month mark. A lot of people seem to still be debating whether to contact the ex. You are not at that stage and are clear that any contact must come from her.

The focus, which I am starting to realise after 4 months NC, should be about you not getting her back. Start enjoying being single again. If she comes back, you can be objective, if not, it is her loss.

kuulski · Dec 7, 2007, 10:28 AM

I am approaching 4 months now. I still miss my ex and my head is clear and focused. I however don't have the desire to contact her really. I have several ways to contact her if I chose except her cell number it got changed when we broke up and I never saved or memorized her new number I can not say how much that has truly helpded me. I probably would have drunk called her 20 times by now lol! Anyway the holiday season hit me hard until I realized she was not a holiday person very cold about it actually didn't seem to enjoy or get into them that much. She is a good person wouldn't bad talk her but I guess not for me. 4 months and counting till I meet the 1 who truly apprciates who I am.

bustertypsy · Dec 7, 2007, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by Questions2007

It is tough but it sounds like you are doing way better than most at the two month mark. A lot of people seem to still be debating whether or not to contact the ex. You are not at that stage and are clear that any contact must come from her.

The focus, which I am starting to realise after 4 months NC, should be about you not getting her back. Start enjoying being single again. If she comes back, you can be objective, if not, it is her loss.

Yes I too would like to think that at 4 months I will not be thinking about getting her back.Hopefully by that stage I won't want her back.Right now I do want her back,but not at any price.

Questions2007 · Dec 7, 2007, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by bustertypsy

Yes I too would like to think that at 4 months I will not be thinking about getting her back.Hopefully by that stage I won't want her back.Right now I do want her back,but not at any price.

Well that is a good place to be in. You are not going to be needy and try and get her back. Any approach MUST come from her.

As you say, in a few months time, you may not even be bothered about her contacting you!

Questions2007 · Dec 10, 2007, 02:57 AM

Originally Posted by Unconditional85

Last time i spoke with my ex was on Oct 24 so tomorrow will be two weeks..that day she called while i was in class i wouldnt had picked up if i knew it was her but she called private and i thought it was one of my friends who always calls private...when i picked up she sounded shy..n then just said that she was callin to see if i was still alive???...I actually called her two days after that out of anger of hearin that she was walkin around my neighborhood with her new bf..that was it.. even though this NC works i feel like we are all stuck waitin for them to call in my case the day she called even if it was for her dumb question it gave me some sense of relief not even hope but just brighten the day to know that she had to be thinkin of me in order for her to call... I dont like feelin like i have to rely or wait for her to call to give me this sense of peace of mind... Do any of you feel the same way???

The view that I take is that if she calls, great, I can deal with it, but it must be her who makes the first move. She must realise it was her loss. If not, well, that's life and I will find someone new and probably better for me before long anyway.

idunnodude101 · Dec 10, 2007, 09:08 AM

She first mentioned this break thing about 2 months ago. But didn't say we didn't have to not talk she just said not talk as much. So I felt bad and id contact her once a week to show I didn't forget her. But she'd never put any effort into it, it was always me doing it. So then finally I stopped contacting. Been 2 weeks. Deff going to go on for a 3rd week because this is finals week for the both of us and I'm real busy so deff not going to try and contact her. But this is the longest time of not talking to each other in seriously 2 years. It's a weird experience for me. I'm hoping she will soon miss me too. I'm also putting to test all the stuff she said about us about this not being some break up that she does have faith in us just wants to hold off till she feels more ready to put in the time needed. I just have to see if she met what she said about everything. So I'm just not going to do anything anymore and let her come back to me. I did send her a card though that was real nice and simple just saying gluck on finals... should be there sometime this week

bustertypsy · Dec 10, 2007, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by Questions2007

The view that I take is that if she calls, great, I can deal with it, but it must be her who makes the first move. She must realise it was her loss. If not, well, that's life and I will find someone new and probably better for me before long anyway.

Correct Question,I sometimes let the heart rule the head.I start texting a message of undying love to my ex,playing into her arms.She is probably waiting for this text,because in the past I did send it,more than once.Not again,my heart has been kicked to touch and my logical self is now in the driving seat.Imagine,they break your heart,then we give them the reassurance that we are lost without them.What does that spell out to them?? That we are sad pathetic losers.Well I won't be doing it Question.Of course I have had the temptations,but thankfully my mind overruled my heart.A good tip,send a text message to your own mobile number... "I will not contact her,no matter what.If she loves me she will contact me.After all she dumped me.Do not do it"...
Just remember this,next time you get weak!

Diamondstar03 · Dec 10, 2007, 10:58 PM

Mine will be 2 months tomorrow. I have had ZERO contact with her. She however had tried to contact me up until 5 weeks ago. I would not reply to any of her messages. I am still doing crappy. I have started to get angry and can't believe some of the things she has done to me. I wanted so much for her to come back and I miss her so much but I will never let that on to anyone other than on here. I have been so good about being all fixing myself. I still miss her so much though. It makes me sad we are not together. But I am doing good on my own. Just still shocked and feel dumb as a rock.

chave · Dec 10, 2007, 11:20 PM

We have tried this a whole bunch of times, specially coming out of me. And him just accepting it, but at the end I fell for his calls. Now he is wiilling to start the process, I miss him a lot I did see him today, kalled him again, with no answer. Even though I wish he'd answer, it is good in a way because it keeps me from hearing his voice and struggling with this. So since he did not picked up the phone today I will start the nc tomorrow. Got to go to sleep now..! I just hope I kan.