[paxe]

You guys are right! I guess I needed a little push. Everybody looks up to me so it's a bit hard to keep my way. You are right for the future though, better work for the future than enjoying only the present.

[paxe]

Gosh I'm pissed off!
My Facebook account settings changes for some reason, my gmail is hacked and I need to change the password, and then someone change my gmail password to put it back after that. This is too much coincidence and my ex knows my passwords (I followed you guys advice but it seems my ex also knows my other passwords).

Let me be clear, I feel perfectly fine. I love my friends, I'm very close to my family, I do volunteering which I love, I socialize a lot, I flirt a lot and I get a lot of attention and I'm concentrating on my future. There is nothing (coming from my ex) that could affect me, but I'm going to have to call her to... ask her to stop looking at my accounts (in a hard pissed off tone). It's not an excuse to break NC, but I won't have any peace of mind knowing that someone can access my accounts even if I change my passwords, even if it is new one, I have extremely important info in my emails.

I guess I came to vent here a bit and to ask if I'm doing the right thing here. How would you guys handle the situation? Bear in mind that I'm really not at ease losing my info and I don't know how many passwords she has from me.

[amicon]

Paxe,I can only tell you what I would do,which would be to write the ex a letter stating what had happened and that if it continues you'll talk to your legal advisor. I wouldn't make any phonecalls just keep it formal. I'm not trying to be a drama queen but it sounds like a kind of stalking to me.

[talaniman]

This harassment, and invasion of your privacy has to stop, by whatever means you have at your disposal. Its no longer breaking NC, but self defense

[Gemini54]

Gosh I'm pissed off!!
My facebook account settings changes for some reason, my gmail is hacked and I need to change the password, and then someone change my gmail password to put it back after that. This is too much coincidence and my ex knows my passwords (I followed you guys advice but it seems my ex also knows my other passwords).

Let me be clear, I feel perfectly fine. I love my friends, I'm very close to my family, I do volunteering which I love, I socialize a lot, I flirt a lot and I get a lot of attention and I'm concentrating on my future. There is nothing (coming from my ex) that could affect me, but I'm going to have to call her to... ask her to stop looking at my accounts (in a hard pissed off tone). It's not an excuse to break NC, but I won't have any peace of mind knowing that someone can access my accounts even if I change my passwords, even if it is new one, I have extremely important info in my emails.

I guess I came to vent here a bit and to ask if I'm doing the right thing here. How would you guys handle the situation? Bear in mind that I'm really not at ease losing my info and I don't know how many passwords she has from me.

Can't you change everything, so that there are all new passwords and no-one but you has access? I'd be setting up completely new accounts.

Problem is, are you SURE it's your ex?

[paxe]

Can't you change everything, so that there are all new passwords and no-one but you has access? I'd be setting up completely new accounts.

Problem is, are you SURE it's your ex?

Well I only have a couple of passwords that I always use and I think she may have all of them.

I'm not 100% sure that it's my ex, but the coincidence are really strange. I mean Facebook, gmail, password change in gmail, then back on... The only persons who would know all my passwords would be my brother (but I trust him with my life and he has no reason to look in my stuff, I tell him everything) and her.

I may be paranoid but I'm an IT student and I know a bit about password hacking, it's far from easy.

Also it does seem like her. She knows she can't contact me, but I doubt she is over me. Actually I think she is doubting her decision of having broken up with me (no way I'm going back to her), and she would really do anything to get any info out of me. The reason why I doubt she is over me is because she jumped into a rebound after breaking up with me without knowing the guy and she is way too afraid to be single (she haven't been single in 6 years). Am I being paranoid?

[talaniman]

Whether its your ex, or the president, you still have to handle your business. There is plenty of time for paranoia, or any other feeling later.

[Gemini54]

I may be paranoid but I'm an IT student and I know a bit about password hacking, it's far from easy.

Change them then! I wouldn't hesitate. Who care it if it's her - and it may not be. Just get new ones.

[paxe]

I did! That's the worst thing. I think she is hacking her way in for some reason, AND changing my passwords. I mean even if I changed my password, what makes you certain she won't hack in again. I do need to straighten this out as soon as possible. I'll let you guys know how it went.

[paxe]

It's been a while here so I guess a little update is necessary.
Today was my ex birthday and her best friend invited me (it was actually 3 birthdays that were celebrated at once). My best friend begged me to come, so to make him feel good I decided to go, but I would join late at night.

I had a very long and productive day (demonstration, meetings, night show and then birthday's), so I was really tired and not in the mood of seeing my ex.

Well it seems I was a bit wrong, my ex seemed lovely and there was no more tension between me and her. She really seemed enjoyable as a person and as a friend. I didn't feel any resentment or feelings toward her at all, it was as if she was a long time friend I haven't seen. I guess that's the beauty of NC.

Anyhow to make things short, I think SHE has feelings for me but I don't care, I know I don't want to get back with her. I talked to a wonderful and beautiful girl in the party and we clicked right away. I think it may lead to somewhere. In the dating department I have a couple of girls chasing me, but I'm not too interested especially since I have so much work.

Now my question is: Is it possible to become friends with my ex again? I mean I can take it slowly but I think I'll never have feelings for her again. I want to experience something different and she doesn't seem attractive to me at all.

I know that most of you guys would ask not to be friends with them, but NC and taking care of myself had made wonders for me, and I'm feeling great right now.

[amicon]

Do you really need to be friends with her?
And if you think she still has feelings for you, a friendship might turn messy.

I'm still friends with one ex-but that's because it was a very amicable split and he's not a close friend.

Mostly I believe the exes are exes for various reasons, and I see no point in attempting friendships with them.

[paxe]

One thing I'm sure is that I will never go back with her, and she has a boyfriend. Do I need to be friends with her? That's a good question. I was more thinking of increasing my social circle and we were good friends before that.

[paxe]

Yea... breaking NC is not a good thing. I just called my ex just to see what's up... and we talked for an hour or so. I don't feel too great, but it's not a major setback. I guess people do change and being friends with the ex is not such a good idea. I guess seeing her socially with other people is acceptable, but it's way too awkward to be friends.

I guess that's a good lesson learned today not to break NC.

[emopunk7]

Stay strong. These girls quit on us and don't deserve a thing from us. Though I do hope they find what they are looking for, we must focus on ourselves. I go through hard times and even so much that people on my thread are tired of me already but I take their insults and mean things because it's better than going through the pain of contacting an ex so I'll go through the pain of coming her till I'm over it. Hang in there and don't contact the ex. You will be fine!

[amicon]

I hope you've bounced back by now.
Stick to good old NC from now on.

[paxe]

Hand in there emopunk, you're doing great. Yea you're right guys, good old NC is forever. I don't feel too bad though, I just have so many things to do and think about that I almost forgot the phone call.

[paxe]

I guess a little update is needed right now.
I've been really busy with school and life has been good to me. I feel like everything went back to normal. I'm with a girl now, though I'm not sure if I see myself in the future so everybody told me wait and see what you decide. I flirt with girls and girls flirt with me, so my confidence is 100% again. I see my ex from time to time (friend's party) but it doesn't do anything to me at all.

I guess the moral of the story is this: NC works, but you need to actively work on yourself. One perfect love doesn't exist you just need to work hard on relationships. We grow stronger and wiser to every problem we encounter.

[Bubbly_Dreamer1]

Do what you want. And if she is making this comlicated, then it's not worth it. THERE is more people in this world