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talaniman · Dec 11, 2007, 08:31 AM

Find something to do that makes you happy, and time does the rest. Click on the links in my signature for some good suggestions.

smoothy · Dec 12, 2007, 07:22 AM

Originally Posted by mon3yca15

ever since i saw him the last time i've been feeling really sad. i can't eat, i can't consentrate and when i'm asleep i dream about him... i've been crying too much and i don't even want to go out anymore... i feel like i'm depressed! i don't know how to get him out of my mind. what should i do????

Ignore the guy.. focus on other things. If you insist on going back with him, or someone like him then it becomes YOUR fault. Because you know he's like this and you chose to ignore it. Up till now its been his fault.

Like I said... hang out with your lady friends. Take up a hobby. When you get over these feelings then its time to move on and find someone new, someone different, not someone just like him.

mon3yca15 · Dec 28, 2007, 11:23 AM

I've been feeling a lot better now that I have no contact with him... finally!
I've been going out with a new guy and I think I'm starting to develop some kind of feelings for him... I think about him a lot and when I'm with him I feel good again =) I'm just not sure if he feels the same for me... he kissed me already and we've gonne out a couple of times but I don't know.. what should I do about this?

ConfusedandLost · Dec 28, 2007, 11:27 AM

I would take it day by day with this new guy. Don't jump into things too fast... you don't want this to be a rebound type of relationship. You will know when and what to do, your feelings will dictate that. Just take it slow :)

mon3yca15 · Jan 11, 2008, 09:09 AM

Well I found out that my ex is now calling my house! I don't know what to do anymore! Why would he call after more than a month and what he did to me?

Homegirl 50 · Jan 11, 2008, 10:23 AM

Don't worry about the why. Continue to ignore him. He'll get the message.

HistorianChick · Jan 11, 2008, 10:50 AM

Honey, your post is a textbook definition of what "being used" means. Glad you are no longer in that situation.

As for this new guy? Take it slow. Realize that you're a unique, special, wonderful person and that you are worth the best. That "perfect guy" will know that, recognize that, and treat you like the princess you are. Don't worry.

Good luck! :)

smoothy · Jan 11, 2008, 12:17 PM

Originally Posted by mon3yca15

well i found out that my ex is now calling my house! i don't know what to do anymore! why would he call after more than a month and what he did to me?

Don't respond to him... if you can do it look into call blocking if you have to.

talaniman · Jan 11, 2008, 05:43 PM

You have nothing to say, so block his calls, and that sends a message. Your done with him, and his antics.

mon3yca15 · Jan 15, 2008, 02:24 PM

well now I've been having a lot of dreams about him! =( mostly every night and I wake up with either a headache or a backache! It's weird! And not only that but I when I don't dream about my ex I dream of the new a guy I'm sort of talking to! I'm so confused! Why I'm I having these mixed dreams?

Homegirl 50 · Jan 15, 2008, 08:00 PM

He is calling your house so he is still on your mind. That does not change anything. He is still a jerk and you are better off without him.
Hang in there, this too shall pass.

BKarinaG · Jan 15, 2008, 08:10 PM

I'm sorry to say but that guy, obviously did not like you. It's hard to get over a relationship that lasted so long.But the truth is you need to move on because he did use you. :(

EuRa · Jan 16, 2008, 08:39 AM

Originally Posted by mon3yca15

well now i've been having a lot of dreams about him! =( mostly every night and i wake up with either a headache or a backache! it's weird! and not only that but i when i don't dream about my ex i dream of the new a guy i'm sort of talking to! i'm so confused! why i'm i having these mixed dreams?

You're analyzing dreams?

This guy you described sounded a lot like me. I was exactly this way to a girlfriend I had about 10 years ago. I didn't really love her, but I did like her. She went out of her way for me, did everything I asked, was a total GODDESS to me. I was just a friend to her... very unfair.

Anyway, I broke it off with her also after 5 years. No excuses, just that I didn't want to be with her anymore. She chased after me and kept after me, which made me feel good. I kept tabs on her, and as long as I knew she wasn't seeing anyone, I did OK.

Then, when she started dating someone else, I got really jealous. She treated me like a GOD, and now she's dating someone else? HOW! She's supposed to be stuck on ME! So I tried and tried, and I got her back... only to dump her a couple weeks later. I kept toying with her over and over until one day she finally got rid of me and didn't talk to me or respond to me, etc. Which was good on her part because I would have kept playing with her.

So based on my experience, and your story, and what's been going on recently, no he doesn't want jack squat to do with you, he's just jealous that you can move on. He's jealous that you don't look at him like you used to. Women have more emotions than men, and men have this uncanny ability to use that against them. DON'T FALL FOR IT! You have a good thing going by being with someone else. He already broke up with you 4 times, remember? How many times do you have to go through it all before you learn! Wake up girl!

mon3yca15 · Jan 16, 2008, 10:41 AM

well I kind of already knew that he didn't love me the way I loved him! Sad but true! =( but I just want to know why all of the sudden I'm having dreams about him ? Is it because he's calling my house and looking for me now? Why do I feel so confused?
and for Eura, did you ever regret doing this to this girlfriend you had and wish you were with her?

Homegirl 50 · Jan 16, 2008, 10:47 AM

He is on your mind because he is still bugging you with phone calls. That's all there is to it.

HistorianChick · Jan 16, 2008, 10:48 AM

I agree with Homegirl - My last (defective) relationship caused me to change my phone number AND get a new provider. It was a drastic measure, but I couldn't handle the constant reminders of what was. Change that number!

mon3yca15 · Feb 6, 2008, 11:08 AM

Well it's been a long while since I last saw him or even spoke to him and I still feel really bad... I feel like I'm falling apart! =( I think about him a lot and even me going out with my girl friends is not helping... I feel really frustrated with myself I don't know what to do anymore! He's even in my dreams , I hate that! How much longer before I start feeling like myself again.. anyone?

Homegirl 50 · Feb 6, 2008, 11:22 AM

Don't know that there is any set time. It takes a different amount of time for everyone.
Remind yourself that he is no good for you and you are better off without him.
Don't put yourself back in a nasty situation just because you're thinking of him.

smoothy · Feb 6, 2008, 11:53 AM

Look forward... not backward. You got past numb nuts. Don't turn back now.

talaniman · Feb 6, 2008, 01:05 PM

It takes a while to recover from the trauma you have been through, sorry you can't rush the hurt and pain away, but be patient with yourself. It will get better.