[emopunk7]

Thank you Cat. You are smart!

Altenweg, That's an awesome idea! I will do it. I really want to get over this nonsense. I'm trying lots of things. I will post something new tomorrow. Thanks for the great ideas and the support!!

[smoothy]

Sometimes one person does or says something wrong... sometimes both, sometimes neither. Sometimes it doesn't work because it just doesn't feel right for one or the other.

What you do not do is obsess about someone. They don't NEED and excuse. They don't NEED a reason... and they most certainly don't NEED to tell anyone why.

"It is what it is"... an ex girlfriend once said.

Obsess about someone too much and you WILL one day find yourself on the wrong end of a restraining order and on the police "watch" list. Nobody wants the attention of a person they have decided they don't want in their personal space. That sort of thing is VERY unwelcome.

Life many times is not what you want... making the most out of life IS about adapting and conforming to what life offers you. Now what you might be offered depends on you and how you deal with what you have at the time. What your future holds depends on your choices in the past, and the present. Stop making bad decisions and start making the right ones and the world is yours.

[emopunk7]

Well let's see. Something good today is that I am getting paid time and a half since it's a holiday. I am going to the Tyra Banks show tomorrow and I worked out last night. So I am happy and I will workout some more tonight. So these are the good things today.

[Alty]

And did you try something new today? :)

[emopunk7]

Well I don't know what to do new? Last night I sent a message to a girl so I tried that new. Haven't tried that in months. I'm working now so I don't know what to do new. Lol I'm feeling better than yesterday for sure.

[Alty]

Sounds good Emo. Keep it up. :)

[emopunk7]

Why am I still not over my ex? Do I have to meet someone better? I really think that's the only way.

[UnluckyDucky]

There's no magic potion, there's no secret scroll, and there's no mystical spell to make it happen. It simply takes time Emo, but, you have to be 100% truthful with yourself. You need to cut that last thread of hope and not just pretend to. Once you fully and completely let go, that's when your healing truly begins.

But here's a tip I'd like you to try out that can help you (or anyone else reading this!) For the next 30 days, every time you have a negative feeling or thought in your head, try to focus on the first positive thing that comes to mind. Now, this doesn't need to be at the same level or significance, it can be the smallest little thing in the world. What this will do is over time train yourself to think more positively about your life. Try it, it works!

[emopunk7]

Lalalalalalalalalalal

I don't know what I want. I guess I want to find someone better than her that loves me and treats me good and has fun with me and is compatible. I just want to have someone I like around to go to concerts and events and someone who loves being around me. I felt her getting distant the last few months. Not to mention little arguments. I keep wondering like did she have to lie because I would get mad? Is that a good excuse? I can go to strip clubs every night and lie as well but I know its not right because she wouldn't like it s I respect that. If I dated a girl that didn't mind then that's different. I wouldn't go out late till 5am to a bar with a friend. You may say oh you're suppose to do that when you're dating but we wouldn't do that. She would not tolerate it so why should I? Whenever I caught her lying she would say she feels trapped. She of course you are trapped. I caught you lying! Why do I still think it's my fault for it being over?

[vanheart]

Lalalala...

Exactly. That's all you've been doing for 76 pages/ Not listening or doing anything to wake up. All I still keep hearing is she.

You're not trying.

Once you realize that she wasn't the "one", not to mention realize what "one" really means. (ie: learning to love & be one with yourself) Things will change.

You want a quick fix all the time. Get real.

Like you said, you don't know what you want...

[friend4u178]

Emo

You know what , until you stop wondering what and why etc. you'll never find anyone. Because you will take all this cr*p baggage into any new relationship you may find.

And nobody , especially a new person is going to put up with it for too long.

We've told you what to do , and sometimes I think your actually moving forward , but you keep bringing me back to thinking maybe not and I'm sure the others feel the same. I've told you before that we can only give you the advice needed , YOU are the one that has to ACTION them.

[Alty]

I felt her getting distant the last few months. Not to mention little arguments. I keep wondering like did she have to lie because I would get mad? Is that a good excuse?

Emo, do you even read my posts? Do you even listen to any of the advice you're given? I don't think you do.

If I hear "why did this happen?" or "Why did she do this?" or anything else to do with your ex and all the miserable failings of your relationship, then I'm done posting here and you're on your own.

How many times do we have to tell you to stop living in the past and start living in the now and looking forward to the future.

We just went over this yesterday and today, we're right back at square one.

I have a feeling you'll still be singing the same song at post 1500.

[vanheart]

Now Im laughing. Are you emo?

Well, you should be.

Everyone changes for the better. Will you?

[Alty]

Sadly I don't think that any of us can help him. We've all tried, we've all given great advice and it's ignored. We're 780 posts in and nothing has changed, it's still the same song and dance, the same pity party.

There comes a time when you just have to realize that you can't help someone, that they have to figure it out themselves. I think this is the time and I think it's time to close the thread.

Everything that should have been said has been said. All Emo has to do is read back through all the posts and he's got all the advice he needs to get through this.

[vanheart]

BTW, we all see your emo.

Now how's about your punk!

That would warm my heart.

[emopunk7]

I figured something out!

[Cat1864]

I figured something out!

I am scared to ask, 'What have you figured out?'

Please, don't let it be a Monty Python Sketch. I keep feeling like I am stuck in one enough already. :rolleyes:

[JudyKayTee]

No, I think it's turned into a game show - "Guess what I've figured out."

Am I right that OP is 24 years old? Yikes!

[emopunk7]

Sorry for sounding immature judykatetee and Cat. Anyway, I was happy because I realized I will be fine and I do feel lonely at times but then I realized this experience will help me appreciate the next person in my life and I am happy to continue bettering myself. I remembered the time I was in Pennsylvania away from New York for a weekend. Towards the night I called my ex to say hello and goodnight. She didn't answer. So I tried again a half hour later and then she picked up. So I asked how was her day and all and she wanted to get off. I asked if she was home and she said yes but I can tell when she is lying. After a few times asking and her saying she is home then outside by the car, she admits she is out with friends. I was a bit upset but she was caught lying instead of being honest. Sorry for the story and vent but it's relevant this time. After that she says I'm the worst boyfriend for being upset and that I always get mad when she is with friends. Yet she always said that each time and it's because she would lie about it and had nothig to do with friends. Also I remember her saying she doesn't want us to be together anymore and cursed me out a lot to which I did nothing in return and in fact I apologized because I didn't want herto break up with me. I remembered all this that day and it hit me that I was blind and being hurt so much without a care on her part. She wanted me but when not around she would do anything behind my back and who knows doing what. That breaks trust and doesn't build it. Some people say it takes two to break but that's all her. Mind you I forgave it many times before and though I shouldn't have done payback, I now realize why I did and I no longer blame myself. Surely I should have dumped her instead and I will have to gain strength in that area but I feel like I can truly move on now and ifeel a weight lifted off and I feel happier to move on though sad it had to end. It doesn't really matter whose fault it was, it's just sad it ended but now I can let go of the blame in that area. I still wonder why she lied and wasn't honest when she swore and at least try. But not once did she so I can't even say it's my fault because of the way I acted this time. So I don't understand and I know there are no answers but here's to moving on. I'm glad I tried hard to make her happy and I'm sorry to life and her it didn't but I hope with the next one things could be better. I love you life and I'm looking forward to what is next. Thank you AMHD for your help. I am healing little by little.

[amicon]

Keep on healing Emo,and don't worry about who did what-how's the gym these days?