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starlite1 · Jun 16, 2008, 06:40 AM

Hey Guys,

How are you all doing?

Hey, is the NC Calender still on the 'Relationships' forum?

bigbird213 · Jun 16, 2008, 08:06 AM

Originally Posted by starlite1

Hey Guys,

How are you all doing?

Hey, is the NC Calender still on the 'Relationships' forum?

The old one is, this is a continuation and it isn't.

Its here:
Forum Community > Member Discussions > Other Member Discussions > The NC Calendar II

zooropa1985 · Jun 16, 2008, 08:07 AM

Awww it was great seeing the post grow, oh well

How's everyone today

vivia12 · Jun 16, 2008, 08:55 AM

Originally Posted by jolienoire

I am in North NJ area, near bergen county, passaic county, essex.. about an hour away from the jersey shore, Point pleasant...

Hwy Jolie
I've been to the jersey shore,it has the most beaautiful beaches therebut I'm a NYC girl so to all the jersey people,hey! You do have nice beaches

vivia12 · Jun 16, 2008, 09:00 AM

Originally Posted by classicrocker

wow i didnt think anyone was from southern california on here!

Hey Classic,
I love that signature,no news is good news, I think I may be the longest on NC,its almost 4 months! Haven't broke it and won't,because no news is good news!

starlite1 · Jun 16, 2008, 10:05 AM

Originally Posted by bigbird213

The old one is, this is a continuation and it isn't.

Its here:
Forum Community > Member Discussions > Other Member Discussions > The NC Calendar II

Great, Thanks Guys!

How is everyone today?

starlite1 · Jun 16, 2008, 11:50 AM

Originally Posted by NorthernNiceGuy

Hey Guys,

Alright heres the video... Hope you enjoy it, I still get excited when I watch it. And really, a year ago I was afraid of flying, and here I am jumping out of a plane, you are scared sh**less until you actually jump, than it is the most amazing thing in the world. I highly recommend it.

Also, you can see deb (my instructor) slapping my hand at the end of free fall, I was supposed to open the chute myself but got a little over excited with the whole jumping out of a plane thing and stopped paying attention, so she had to do it for me... probably a good thing. haha.

Enjoy.

YouTube - My Sky dive

There is a quote at the beginning of the video that I think is pretty cool to, everything is going to be alright in the end for us guys!!!

Hi NNG,

That was amazing!! Thank you for sharing this with us! I am so glad you had a great time :) Excellent!

jpm247 · Jun 16, 2008, 01:06 PM

Yep, that was great NNG made me smile

starlite1 · Jun 16, 2008, 01:10 PM

Hi JPM,

How are you doing? How was your weekend?

NorthernNiceGuy · Jun 16, 2008, 01:35 PM

Hey Guys, I really appreciate all the support on the video, really truly feels like I have made some serious friends on here. Great experience, still riding the hight from it.

Although... There has been a problem created from it.

I posted my video on Facebook and tagged the people I went on it with as well. Well my ex has these people on her friend's list as well and could watch it from their profiles (as I refuse to add her as a friend).

She texted me in the morning saying that was so amazing, I never thought you of all people would do something like that. (it was a big plus to me that a while ago I mentioned I wanted to do this and she said I was too chicken to in a mean way) Well I did and had a great time doing it.

Anyway the texts continued during the day, it eventually came out that she isn't happy where she is living right now and really really wants me to come see her. At the end of the night she sent me a few more saying... "I need you to visit me right now :(" "I feel like a part of me is missing... and its you in my life" "Please come I can't stop thinking about you" "I miss absolutely everything about you"

These were pretty heavy texts, and they kind of got to me. I am sort of getting the feeling she hasn't run into a guy that matches up to me down there, and she has seen me do this skydive, knows I've been traveling and have just started a pretty cool job. It is probably bugging her that I am doing and accomplishing a lot of things with out her.

She's basically said everything but I want you back (not going to get back with her), which really makes me think this is just her wanting validation from me that I am still pinning for her. I think if I gave that too her she would stop bugging me... What do you guys think. Also tomorrow is our official 4 year anniversary so that could be another factor.

I will admit, it made me feel a lot better that she said these things to me, and I did feel like blurting out I will come visit you on the weekend and I miss you more and all that stuff... I know better though.

Thanks for listening

f104 · Jun 16, 2008, 02:45 PM

Ah cool here is everybody. Been really hard maintaing NC today but I am doing it.

Vivia 4 months of NC is awesome. Good job.

jrsg thanks for squaring me away mate.

bigbird213 · Jun 16, 2008, 03:14 PM

NNG,

Stop the contact. You can already see that it has been driving you nuts and is starting to eat at your mind.

Your best bet is to let her be on her own and not give into her wants for validation. She wants to know that your still pining for her (your right) and if you give her that, she won't need you for validation anymore.

And honestly, do you really want to be talking to her just because she hasn't been able to find someone else who matches her desires? That isn't fair to you.

losingit77 · Jun 16, 2008, 03:35 PM

NNG - I agree with bigbird. Its tough but it sounds like she's trying to use you for her own ego boost. She wants to know that she can still have an impact on you emotionally and she's lonely and wants to know that's there at least someone out there that's still pining over her. Don't let her use you. I'm not saying at all that she's a bad person or she even consciously understands what she's doing to you. But you're better off just letting it go and not feeding into her ego. It sucks, I know but you got to look at her motives.

jrsg · Jun 16, 2008, 04:11 PM

Originally Posted by f104

jrsg thanks for squaring me away mate.

No problem buddy,
So you said that maintaining NC is hard for you right now, day 8. Did something happen to bring back memories? Or is it just one of those days?

hjpan · Jun 16, 2008, 04:20 PM

@ classicrocker: Same =/

@bigbird: Well, she can go to a club when she's 21 & meet guys... it does suck =/

NorthernNiceGuy · Jun 16, 2008, 05:26 PM

Bigbird and losinit,

You're right, I knew it myself, just needed you guys to confirm it. Its been almost two months and now she is doing this... I did break nc, but not badly, I only responded 3 times, with short answers, two of which were just about how fun skydiving was.

f104, keep your NC going, I have broken it a few times over the last two months and it has been nothing but bad for me. It really takes the wind out of your sails. You guys really impress me, my ex had treated me horribly and I still gave in to talk to her sometimes. I can say that I never contacted her first though, it was always in response to her (still doesn't make it right)

Even though I have broken it my good days are finally now out numbering my bad ones. Its an exciting feeling to know you are going to be OK and heal from this. Can't wait till you guys and gals in the early stages are there, and you will be soon enough! We're all rooting for you!

hjpan · Jun 16, 2008, 05:31 PM

And I just noticed that I have been kicked out of college cause I could not pass my writing class. Wow... time for summer school or classes at community college..

damn it =/

bigbird213 · Jun 16, 2008, 05:33 PM

NNG,

I'm glad to hear it. Sorry that my post sounded a little harsh, I just re-read it. I was writing it quick and didn't want to put it off and forget to respond (I had to leave). I didn't mean that to be offensive towards your ex, as I agree with losingit, sometimes I think the ex's don't even consciously know what they are doing, but they are doing it nonetheless.

Congrats of thinking through it and seeking advice when you needed it.

Hang in there.

losingit77 · Jun 16, 2008, 05:44 PM

NNG - Glad to hear the good days are outnumbering the bad days. That's healing and growth.

I haven't been on here much lately cause I've actually been keeping busy building my new life. Almost 3 months since my breakup and I can honestly say I haven't had a bad day in a long time. Sure, I still think of him everyday but not in a sad way. I look back fondly at some of the memories we had, the lessons we both learned, etc. But in no way do I want him back. Looking back now with a clear head, I can thank him for releasing me from a dead-end and unhappy relationship. I know I would never have had the strength to walk away on my own but he did the deed for me, and I'm honestly pretty thankful he let me go. He was right when he broke up with me and said "losingit, you deserve everything you want in this world..". I do. And now I'm free to go get it.

For those still hurting, one day you'll get there and it won't hurt anymore. It'll happen. I thought it never would but I'm here and am living proof that it does get better... and better... and better..

NorthernNiceGuy · Jun 16, 2008, 06:24 PM

Originally Posted by bigbird213

NNG,

I'm glad to hear it. Sorry that my post sounded a little harsh, I just re-read it. I was writing it quick and didn't want to put it off and forget to respond (I had to leave). I didn't mean that to be offensive towards your ex, as I agree with losingit, sometimes I think the ex's don't even consciously know what they are doing, but they are doing it nontheless.

Congrats of thinking through it and seeking advice when you needed it.

Hang in there.

Oh know worries buddy, wasn't harsh at all, you got the message across loud and clear and that's what I need. Every time she has contacted me that's what she has done... so she's got to know by now!!