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Wildcat21 · Mar 15, 2007, 11:31 AM

A lot of guys don't get this - but it's an old show business tactic...

LEAVE THEM WANTING MORE!

Always - I bet every gal here will agree with this.

missk · Mar 15, 2007, 11:32 AM

I agree with wildcat-See it's working. Doesn't it feel good? I definitely think you are making progress. I have been in this exact situation. My boyfriend of eleven years had told me he needed space on several occasions and finally after all the temptations I had, I finally put my foot down and left him alone and I did all of the things everyone here is telling you to do and he finally realized he didn't like the games anymore and wanted to grow up and have a relationship. Like wildcat says go slow-you are making her see you in a different way and she is going to respect you for that. Hope this helps and makes sense.

Lost Guy · Mar 15, 2007, 12:15 PM

It most definitely males total sense. I would love to talk to her but I will not call. She told me she may go out of town to visit her mom and sister as she took today and tomorrow off. This could be good for me as they both really like me. She also has time alone at the house this week as her daughters are out of town with their dad for spring break. It does feel good that things are changing and I will stick to my guns. I still feel empty inside even with the changes for the better. She has not attempted to contact today and hopefully she is really thinking about the "fun guy" and how she misses him.

Wildcat21 · Mar 15, 2007, 12:24 PM

Evict the serious and sensitive guy - and then that stuff won't matter - she'll love you for it!

Yep - leave her be - let her ENJOY time with her Mom and sister. That's important too AND if show and respect that... well she will come flying back. Let her have some fun on her own - BUT you must have fun away from her as well. Balance and boundries for now.

Lost Guy · Mar 15, 2007, 12:35 PM

I want to take the time to thank you all for helping me to this point. I know its not over yet, but at least it's going in the right direction. Wildcat, you have one hell of a friend. I've

Been dealing with this break-up for three weeks and it's very painful. With you guys to talk to it really does help, not to mention the awesome advice. I hope to be able to write

To all uf you one day soon and say "WE WON". I will never forget all of you and I will start helping others on this site to kind of pay it forward. It is a miserable spot to be in and I can see how some people can go off the deep end. Once again, THANKS.

Lost Guy · Mar 16, 2007, 08:26 AM

I have something that I don't quite understand. Last night I went to sing karaoke and when I was done I was going to go my regular hang out to be with my friends. I was

Informed by a phone call that she was there. She and I have gone there for years together but if she needs space why does she go to a place that I will more than likely be

At? I know she has friends there as well but her needing time away from me does not make sense to me. What's up with this?

Wildcat21 · Mar 16, 2007, 08:34 AM

Wha tdo you think? Yes.

Make her pursue you... women sometimes need the chase - the challenge.

Let her contact you. If you wait - you will hear from her.

talaniman · Mar 16, 2007, 08:39 AM

I know she has friends there as well but her needing time away from me does not make sense to me. What's up with this?

You still have stuff at her house? This is not over. She just wants to see if you'll show up where you know she is. Who called anyway, your friend or hers?

Lost Guy · Mar 16, 2007, 08:52 AM

One of my best friends called me. She became friends with him through me a couple of years ago. He is usually who I mostly hang out with when I am there, and now her as

Well. She was there when I got there the night before last which was the night after the concert and I went in to sing anyway. She once again went last night but I didn't go just to stay away from her. Should I go even though she is there?

Wildcat21 · Mar 16, 2007, 10:23 AM

Not every time. Be mysterious. Be busy. If your always there she can't miss you.

Lost Guy · Mar 16, 2007, 10:28 AM

The other thing I wonder about is when I am in there with her do I ignore her, talk to her briefly or hold a conversation if she seems to want to talk? I am going to be the fun guy either way but how do I handle this situation?

missk · Mar 16, 2007, 11:03 AM

I say just talk to her like she is your friend just like you would any of your other close friends. Kill her with kindness. It will make you mysterious and she will be attracted to that, but you are still being nice to her at the same time so she can't get upset with you. It will drive her kind of crazy and make her want to be with you even more. The ball is in your court now. Keep it there for a while. Trust me, she is not going anywhere-she said she needed space and to me it is just game playing. Your friends already confirmed to you that she loves you and you already knew that anyway so just keep being the fun guy for a while and save the serious stuff for a little later. That's just my opinion!

talaniman · Mar 16, 2007, 11:10 AM

I don't like games or tests. I would go about my life and let her call me. When you run into her be polite but busy. Once you start playing games that's exactly what you'll get. Now if she wants to hold a real mature conversation about how to work together for the benefit of you both we can talk.

missk · Mar 16, 2007, 11:17 AM

I'm not saying play games, but that is what it is about right now-she chose this game. That is why she told him she wanted space in the first place. Almost like she wants her cake and eat it too. I am just saying don't give her the cake. I agree with talaniman but when you are at the same place talk to her just don't pour yourself out there.

Wildcat21 · Mar 16, 2007, 11:29 AM

This isn'y games - it's just changing gthe way you approach things.

Games are like flirting wit hother people in front of her. Her throwing a temper tamtrum.

Lost Guy · Mar 16, 2007, 11:51 AM

Yes it is actually playing a game at this point and my best chance to win is to be the happy guy and give her the space she asked for. It is very uncomfortable for me to be in our

Hang out together and yet we are not together. She told me the other night when we were in there "you sure have been going out a lot". Don't know why that concerns her because she

Is the one that wanted space from me. Not too sure what or why she made that comment but I am going there a lot to help keep my mind occupied and to where I can get

Exhausted so I can actually sleep when I get home. I don't like games either Talaniman but it's where I am at with her and I love her enough to do it for a while - - I just need

You alls help to win. Great advice Missk. That is exactly how I have been handling it so far and everything seems to be slowly working.

Lost Guy · Mar 16, 2007, 11:54 AM

Makes sense Wildcat it just feels like a game at times.

talaniman · Mar 16, 2007, 12:04 PM

She is keeping a close eye on you. Don't sweat just get busy with your own issues, AND GIVE HER WHAT SHE ASKED FOR.

Lost Guy · Mar 16, 2007, 12:05 PM

Wildcat, what's your advice on how to treat her when we are at our hangout at the same time. Missk's advice sounded pretty good. Or is it best to just try to stay away from there

And make her wonder because we have been there together probably over 50 times. We have our spot where we hang out with our friends. It has to bother her when I am not

There because it makes her miss me and also wonders where I am at. What do you think?

missk · Mar 16, 2007, 12:07 PM

Just for now :) I mean to me that is not the kind of game I am thinking about Wildcat (flirting, and tantrums). When I say game I am talking about like you said the way you approach it-it is a game, but you are also growing and learning from this experience and it is going to make you a stronger person whether you work things out with her in the future or are with someone else. Thanks for seeing it from my point as well Lost Guy-considering I am not an expert or anything-I have just been there done that.