Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    beartest's Avatar
    beartest Posts: 27, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #41

    Sep 14, 2012, 12:31 PM
    Wanted to update here, I am doing quite fine. Have been studying and doing things I wanted to do. I can find time for doing things now. I have got four pack abs till now :)
    Well, I miss her terribly, but I believe that the pain will pass gradually.
    Sometimes, I just see her pics and shed some tears, even if I want to control the tears, the y don't stop.
    I have stop fighting with myself, to try forgetting her. I twon't happen.
    I am getting on with my life , talking to friends, doing things, watching Dexter :)
    Life's not he same again, but life changes, maybe this change was for good.
    I tell this to myself, it does not eases the pain, but helps me focusing on other things.

    Will get on with life.
    Its just, some times, I feel, things could have been like I wanted to be, but they didn't turned out that way. I feel like crying, but once I accepted that it was not meant to be, I can focus on other things now.
    I have been wrong on one count, I can't forget her ever, nor I can let the pain pass. It won't happen, so just accept it, and move on as they say
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #42

    Sep 14, 2012, 01:03 PM
    Thanks for the update guy, as I know some tough times still exist for you over this. Have heart though because as you struggle still sometimes, you are definitely making progress.

    Give yourself credit for staying on the path, you deserve it!
    beartest's Avatar
    beartest Posts: 27, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #43

    Sep 27, 2012, 11:34 AM
    Do I need psychiatric help?
    It is some months passed since I got left by the girl I loved. I was shattered, but now I want to be normal. I feel lots of anger over small things, I have a job too now, I will be joining it in November, and I feel something is not right with me. I just feel angry over how she treated me for all the right things I did over time.

    No, I am not a saint, but I have not hurt people, and now, I feel better when I make someone feel miserable. I don't know why I do it, but I kind of feel satisfied when I make someone feel miserable. Also, I lie when I am asked about how I am, I am not all right, but I tell people I am all right.

    I want to stop doing it. I know to stop it is by not doing it. But then, sometime I make someone feel miserable to an extent that I hate myself afterwards.

    I want to trust people, but after being cheated twice by the same girl, I just can't. And then I want to be me, I was a guy who made everyone laugh, not make everyone miserable. I was the one with no care in the world, still I was responsible. Now I am not. I feel stress, I do meditation, but I need more help. Can someone tell do I need to a psychiatrist or can I manage it by myself? I feel like anger is brewing inside me and I just feel I am failing all time.
    I have lost confidence in my abilities. For example, I used to ride my bike for 1000 klms at a stretch, and now, I feel frightened even if I am going with friends wondering what if this car would have bumped into me. I am not the person I was.

    Someone please tell me what should I do, should I go and see a psychiatrist? Or can I manage it myself, or is it a common problem.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #44

    Sep 27, 2012, 12:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by beartest View Post
    It is some months passed since I got left by the girl I loved. I was shattered, but now I want to be normal. I feel lots of anger over small things, I have a job too now, I will be joining it in November, and I feel something is not right with me. I just feel angry over how she treated me for all the right things I did over time.

    No, I am not a saint, but I have not hurt people, and now, I feel better when I make someone feel miserable. I don't know why I do it, but I kind of feel satisfied when I make someone feel miserable. Also, I lie when I am asked about how I am, I am not alright, but I tell people I am alright.

    I want to stop doing it. I know to stop it is by not doing it. But then, sometime I make someone feel miserable to an extent that I hate myself afterwards.

    I want to trust people, but after being cheated twice by the same girl, I just can't. And then I want to be me, I was a guy who made everyone laugh, not make everyone miserable. I was the one with no care in the world, still I was responsible. Now I am not. I feel stress, I do meditation, but I need more help. Can someone tell do I need to a psychiatrist or can I manage it by myself? I feel like anger is brewing inside me and I just feel I am failing all time.
    I have lost confidence in my abilities. For example, I used to ride my bike for 1000 klms at a stretch, and now, I feel frightened even if I am going with friends wondering what if this car would have bumped into me. I am not the person I was.

    Someone please tell me what should I do, should I go and see a psychiatrist? Or can I manage it myself, or is it a common problem.
    .


    I don't believe making other people unhappy because you're unhappy is normal - or productive.

    I wouldn't say Psychiatrist. I would say counselor or therapist.

    Ten days ago you were fine. What changed? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ml#post3283099

    I think your threads should be combined - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/emotio...er-669927.html

    I am more concerned about the unevenness of your posts, the ups and downs, than anything else.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #45

    Sep 27, 2012, 12:24 PM
    I don't know what changed, but I don't think you are doing fine:

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...lp-705330.html

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/emotio...er-669927.html
    beartest's Avatar
    beartest Posts: 27, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #46

    Sep 27, 2012, 12:56 PM
    Yeah, because I was going on with my life, accepting it as It is, and I think life has been unfair to me.
    I was doing meditatio, but every now and then, I get this urge of anger, I try not to get affected by it, but I do get.
    In my previous post, I accepted everything about her, that I have to be without her
    And now that I am alone, and I think of myself, more think,more I feel that lyf has been unfair to me.
    I want to be like I was before, if not same as before, at least I don't want to derive pleasure by hurting others.
    I feel like some sort o satisfaction, when I hurt some one else,
    And when I see my friends who cheated, and got away with it happily, I feel like life was not fair with me.
    Maybe the problem is that I accepted that she is gone and I have to be without her, I can't accept that what I am without her.
    I won't whine more, but seriously, what should I need to do
    I am not crying or whining about her, but when I see other people, who are happy and I am not, I feel anger.
    I thought, I would get along with it, but I think, I took off my mind off her by doing meditation,dexter, and all those things, but now that I have to make myself happy, I can't
    Things did not worked out d way I wnted with her, fine, m past that
    I even talked to my dog more often, maybe it is silly, but I love it when my dog just puts his head in my hands and listens to what ever I have to say.
    If possible, can you at least tell me, what is wrong with me.
    I know, I am not crazy because I learned srach engine scraping and I know with a vbulletin forum, we can never scrape off the content using xpath query so if it were me, I would not have posted the link here like you have posted, Ask Me Help Desk - View Single Post - How to get over with this being cheated feeling?
    You see, it is session controlled search and no one can know what link you were pointing to because the session id changed by now.
    See,I am telling you all this because for the moment I was typing this I felt content, because I love the way search engines work,
    But after some time, or maybe, when I see myself, I will be knowing that I do all this not because I wanted you to know how vbulletin works, but because, for some time I wrote this, I felt good.
    I can't do this all day, I can't meditate all day, I can't go to gym all day,
    There is some time when I am alone, and all I think is, life is not fair, to me, and anger brews in.
    If I offended in some manner, sorry for that, but I really need to know what should I do,
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
    Uber Member
     
    #47

    Sep 27, 2012, 02:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by beartest View Post
    ...if possible, can you at least tell me, what is wrong with me.
    I know, I am not crazy because I learned srach engine scraping and I know with a vbulletin forum, we can never scrape off the content using xpath query so if it were me, i would not have posted the link here like you have posted, Ask Me Help Desk - View Single Post - How to get over with this being cheated feeling?
    you see, it is session controlled search and no one can know what link you were pointing to becasue the session id changed by now.
    see,I am telling you all this because for the moment I was typing this I felt content, becasue I love the way search engines work,
    but after some time, or maybe, when I see myself, i will be knowing that I do all this not because i wanted you to know how vbulletin works, but because, for some time i wrote this, i felt good. ... sorry for that, but I really need to know what should I do,

    You asked if you need psychiatric help. That is what you asked. I answered that I thought you should speak to a therapist or mental health counselor because, no, I don't think it's normal to make other people unhappy to make yourself feel less unhappy.

    That was your question. That was my answer.

    I also said that your emotions appear to be fluctuating wildly - and I posted links to those other posts in the hope that your entire "story" would be posted in one place for ease in reading and understanding.

    I have absolutely no idea what the rest of this latest post means, the rambling about search engines and v bulletins - ? You appear to be having difficulty finding your own posts - I find them just fine using the links you posted.

    And for the record, I never said you were crazy. You may think you are, but I never said that.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #48

    Sep 27, 2012, 05:02 PM
    It cannot hurt to talk to someone trained to listen and guide you through the healing process. It can be a difficult trying time after being dumped.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

How do I get over the feeling that my boyfriend has cheated on me? [ 3 Answers ]

I've been very depressed for the last couple days, not randomly its been building up for a few weeks. This new guy at my bfs job has been causing a lot of problems. He tells my boyfriend to check out other women and has asked him to have a threesome with his wife. Now, I don't think my boyfriend...

Feeling lost after wife cheated/leaving me [ 3 Answers ]

How do you raise ones self esteem after the one you loved for 13 years is leaving you for another guy?

Boyfriend of 2 1/2 years cheated and dumped me, how can I move on and start feeling better? [ 17 Answers ]

My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years ended things with me about three weeks ago. I'm having a hard time excepting things and understanding why this happened. If anyone has adivce on how to move past this, thoughts on why things played out the way they did or has gone through a similar experience I would...


View more questions Search