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Wondergirl · Oct 3, 2012, 01:37 PM

Originally Posted by shatteredx3

the only way I would end it is if he physically cheated on me. and it's kinda hard for him

So he can emotionally and verbally cheat until his dying day, and that will be okay with you, as long as his warm body is lying next to you in bed.

shatteredx3 · Oct 3, 2012, 01:37 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So what will it take to end the relationship?

(Where in NJ are you from?)

The only way I would end it is if he physically cheated on me. And it's kind of hard for him to because he doesn't even have his license yet so I drive him everywhere and he's a homebody I don't like going out so we are usually at home chilling instead going out dancing.

Wondergirl · Oct 3, 2012, 01:40 PM

Originally Posted by shatteredx3

the only way I would end it is if he physically cheated on me. and it's kinda hard for him to because he doesn't even have his license yet so I drive him everywhere and he's a homebody I don't like going out so we are usually at home chilling instead going out dancing.

Ah, he is your prisoner now. Wonder how creative he will be once he gets his license?

shatteredx3 · Oct 3, 2012, 01:41 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So he can emotionally and verbally cheat until his dying day, and that will be okay with you, as long as his warm body is lying next to you in bed.

No not at all that's the reason why he went on this little rant about how he's "scared" to lose me. And he will feel like a jackass because he tells everyone about me. And even his mom talked to him about this situation she told him if he doesn't stop she will take me back to new Jersey.

Wondergirl · Oct 3, 2012, 01:43 PM

Originally Posted by shatteredx3

No not at all that's the reason why he went on this little rant about how he's "scared" to lose me. And he will feel like a jackass because he tells everyone about me. And even his mom talked to him about this situation she told him if he doesn't stop she will take me back to new Jersey.

But he isn't "scared" enough to forsake those other women and give his heart to you alone.

Couples counseling?

shatteredx3 · Oct 3, 2012, 01:44 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Ah, he is your prisoner now. Wonder how creative he will be once he gets his license?

No that's not what I was implying. He doesn't want to drive I don't know why but he usually goes out with his friends to hockey games or just to eat. And I stay home mostly because I can't deal with hanging with a bunch of guys.

Wondergirl · Oct 3, 2012, 01:48 PM

Originally Posted by shatteredx3

No that's not what I was implying. He doesn't want to drive I don't know why but he usually goes out with his friends to hockey games or just to eat. and I stay home mostly because I can't deal with hanging with a bunch of guys.

So he has it all -- no vehicle expenses, his very own chauffeur, guy friends to hang with whenever he wants to, women to sex-talk with, and you to cook and clean and if he feel like a real-life sexual adventure. He sounds like Peter Pan, a perpetual little boy.

shatteredx3 · Oct 3, 2012, 01:51 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

So he has it all -- no vehicle expenses, his very own chauffeur, guy friends to hang with whenever he wants to, women to sex-talk with, and you to cook and clean and if he feel like a real-life sexual adventure. He sounds like Peter Pan, a perpetual little boy.

Well no I don't mind it when he hangs with his friends that's no problem because we see each other all the time. It's just it's hard to tell if he's still talking to other women or not but the ways he been acting I don't think he is now but who knows. That's not it at all what your saying.

Wondergirl · Oct 3, 2012, 01:56 PM

Originally Posted by shatteredx3

Well no I don't mind it when he hangs with his friends that's no problem because we see each other all the time. It's just it's hard to tell if he's still talking to other women or not but the ways he been acting I don't think he is now but who knows. That's not it at all what your saying.

It doesn't sound like there is any problem. We've talked through all the possibilities, and you are cool with how things are going. Should I close this thread and you can go on your merry way?

shatteredx3 · Oct 3, 2012, 02:03 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

It doesn't sound like there is any problem. We've talked through all the possibilities, and you are cool with how things are going. Should I close this thread and you can go on your merry way?

Wow OK.. All I was asking was advice and you come up with rude comments . Could've just ignored it in the first place.

Wondergirl · Oct 3, 2012, 02:51 PM

Originally Posted by shatteredx3

Wow ok.. All I was asking was advice and you come up with rude comments . could've just ignored it in the first place.

Rude? No, realistic. I have asked all sorts of questions, and you have shot them all down. It sounds like there is no problem as long as he doesn't cheat physically. If that is the case, there is no need to keep this thread open. You don't need any advice. If anyone needs advice, he does.

shatteredx3 · Oct 3, 2012, 03:15 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Rude? no, realistic. I have asked all sorts of questions, and you have shot them all down. It sounds like there is no problem as long as he doesn't cheat physically. If that is the case, there is no need to keep this thread open. You don't need any advice. If anyone needs advice, he does.

I know this you don't know about the situation that's why I'm trying to explain it to you more. But your not understanding it.

Wondergirl · Oct 3, 2012, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by shatteredx3

I know this you don't know about the situation that's why I'm trying to explain it to you more. But your not understanding it.

I understand he is verbally and emotionally unfaithful. I understand he is a homebody with no way to leave the house except with you or his friends. I understand you are willing to overlook the cheating he does as long as he is physically faithful to you.

Yes? No?

shatteredx3 · Oct 3, 2012, 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I understand he is verbally and emotionally unfaithful. I understand he is a homebody with no way to leave the house except with you or his friends. I understand you are willing to overlook the cheating he does as long as he is physically faithful to you.

Yes? No?

He was but he's not doing it now it's the fact that he did. And I'm trying to get over it that's the advice I need is to actually trust him because that can be a factor but no excuse. It's hard to get over stuff like this especially for me that's the help I need because I get jealous.

talaniman · Oct 3, 2012, 04:41 PM

What are you doing for your own happiness and well being? Do you work, go to school, have your own friends and activities?

Or is your whole waking time spent worrying about his on line flirting and social net working?

If you are jealous of what he does online then you have to sit down and establish the rules of
Good behavior, on line, and in life that works for you both.

Jealousy is a product of fear, and insecurity, and to overcome it you need confidence and accomplishment from yourself for yourself. In this way you can trust him, because you trust YOURSELF to handle this situations and feelings you are going through. There will no need to be jealous, or fearful.

It takes time and patience and to overcome the past and feel good about your future, or regain trust. But he has to do his part, and you say he is, so relax, and do good things for yourself.

I know, that's not easy because its not so simple since you believe he would cheat if he had the chance so he flirts to stop from cheating. That's a self defeating attitude to have and you have no business in a relationship that you feel you could be cheated on.

Be clear with what you see as inappropriate, and get about being appropriate yourself as in stop letting your own feelings of fear and insecurity, dictate your own mood,and attitude by getting your own act together and can take actions for yourself that work.

shatteredx3 · Oct 3, 2012, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

What are you doing for your own happiness and well being? Do you work, go to school, have your own friends and activities?

Or is your whole waking time spent worrying about his on line flirting and social net working?

If you are jealous of what he does online then you have to sit down and establish the rules of
good behavior, on line, and in life that works for you both.

Jealousy is a product of fear, and insecurity, and to overcome it you need confidence and accomplishment from yourself for yourself. In this way you can trust him, because you trust YOURSELF to handle this situations and feelings you are going thru. There will no need to be jealous, or fearful.

It takes time and patience and to overcome the past and feel good about your future, or regain trust. But he has to do his part, and you say he is, so relax, and do good things for yourself.

I know, thats not easy because its not so simple since you believe he would cheat if he had the chance so he flirts to stop from cheating. Thats a self defeating attitude to have and you have no business in a relationship that you feel you could be cheated on.

Be clear with what you see as inappropriate, and get about being appropriate yourself as in stop letting your own feelings of fear and insecurity, dictate your own mood,and attitude by getting your own act together and can take actions for yourself that work.

I do work and go to school I don't have friends now because I just moved here..