[chuff]

And Chuff--romance novels. Really, it's a much better comparison. Or shopping! I mean, you're out, trying to look good, with just the girls, and there are guys all OVER at the mall! SOME of them would even have sex with you for money!! And you're out with just the girls, in a place where guys TRY to pick up women, and you're out getting things to make you look sexy!! OMG!! CHEATING!!

What if a stripper goes shopping, then what happens... does the world come to an end?

[Romefalls19]

My partner doesn't have a problem with me going, not that I have went to one either. If she said "I'm going to a strip club." I would tell her to have fun, if she's going to cheat she's going to do it regardless. I respect her enough to allow her to make her own decisions.

[ARKdrummer]

Some of you have compared the whole strip club thing to watching sex and the city.. let me tell you I'd rather be dead then watch that show. I'm a girl and certainly don't run off to watch a show or movie because of 'emotions' I like the action and comedy type stuff, not the whole lovey dovey stuff. Granted I will watch them, but not my cup of tea.

Also you guys have talked about the movies and how there are naked women in them. Well I for one don't think there should be full on nudity in them. It is absolutely pointless, the only reason it ever started was to get more people (guys) into watching films to make money. Nowadays you may find one or 2 more movies that have male nudity, but mostly of women.
What I'm saying is, I don't like my guy to go out to strip clubs and see these nakes prancing women around him. Then coming home to me to 'get off'. That is certainly NOT a turn on for me.. all I would be thinking about is him comparing me to those girls. Plus the only reason he would want to do anything when he got home WAS because of THOSE girls.. not anything I did. That to me is just pretty sick. Get turned on by some one else.. come home to use the girl. That just seems pretty pathetic.

You says guys are visual.. we'll they have their own girl to be visual with... they want some dance, ask her for it.. she'll gladly do it.. and hey if you want the feeling of a strip club and having to pay for them. I'm pretty sure she'll take the money as well.

[sokay]

[QUOTE=ARKdrummer]

I'm a girl and certainly don't run off to watch a show or movie because of 'emotions' I like the action and comedy type stuff, not the whole lovey dovey stuff. Granted I will watch them, but not my cup of tea.

Me too! Never been my cup o' tea. (yawn.. ) Action, Sci-Fi, Horror, that's much better! That's such a stereotype.

What I'm saying is, I don't like my guy to go out to strip clubs and see these nakes prancing women around him. Then coming home to me to 'get off'. That is certainly NOT a turn on for me.. all I would be thinking about is him comparing me to those girls. Plus the only reason he would want to do anything when he got home WAS because of THOSE girls.. not anything I did. That to me is just pretty sick. Get turned on by some one else.. come home to use the girl. That just seems pretty pathetic.

Yeah, I'd also prefer to be the actual object of desire, rather than merely the 'release'.

You says guys are visual.. we'll they have their own girl to be visual with... they want some dance, ask her for it.. she'll gladly do it.. and hey if you want the feeling of a strip club and having to pay for them. I'm pretty sure she'll take the money as well.

Lol..

And I still haven't heard. How many times have you guys gone to male strip clubs with your women? Since you seem to want to do it so bad, and agree women should accompany their men... I suggest you should spend equal time accompanying your women while she's surrounded by male strippers, and they're grinding their parts all up in her face, and she stuffs dollar bills in their (?). I'm sure you all will enjoy that very much.

[Romefalls19]

Sokay, now I take that as a direct attack at me. I wouldn't go to a male strip club with my girlfriend, just as she wouldn't come to a female strip club with me. Not because it's equal time of anything of that sort. It's the fact she respects me enough and trusts me enough, as I do with her, that I will be coming home to her, and only her.

You're telling me that I shouldn't go my best friends bachelor party because he has strippers? I would tell you where to go and how to get there. If I chose to go, which I haven't, to a strip club with my friends for a night out, so be it. You have this illusion of a strip club that you see in the movies. You seem to immediately deem these girls "sluts, hoes" who want "your man", they don't want him.

[Synnen]

I'd like to point out AGAIN that I'm a WOMAN defending the whole "go to a strip club" thing.

ARKdrummer: What I'm saying is, I don't like my guy to go out to strip clubs and see these nakes prancing women around him. Then coming home to me to 'get off'. That is certainly NOT a turn on for me.. all I would be thinking about is him comparing me to those girls.

Sounds to me like it's YOUR mental issue there. Different things turn me on at different times--sometimes it's knowing I'm wearing something sexy under my clothes, sometimes it's a romance novel, sometimes it's watching a guy do a double take when I walk by, sometimes it's hormones, and sometimes it's something specific that my man wants me to do. Even if it's the UPS guy checking me out that makes my pulse beat a bit more--I still only want my husband to scratch that itch. The turn-on isn't the guy looking at me. The turn on is the LOOKING at me.

Do you honestly think that the 22-year old intern that wears short skirts and no bra to the office your husband works at isn't doing the Same thing as the girls at the strip club, as far as your husband's/boyfriend's libido goes? Is THAT cheating? I mean, he works with a girl, and he looks at her--OMG! That CHEATER!

If you don't like your man to go to a strip club EVER, and he's okay with taking that sort of order from you--GREAT! Congratulations--you've done what you should, and got a guy that matches your feelings on it. But calling all strippers prostitutes (when they're not--they're dancers), assuming that guys are getting laid in the back room, and thinking that it's the lap dance and the girl at the club your man is thinking about when he comes home to you is just silly. That's saying that you are expecting your guy to act JUST like the hero in the romance novel.

Actually--really, what it's saying is that you don't believe that regardless the outside stimulus in BOTH of your lives, that you'll always be hot for each other at all times, and NOTHING else will ever get your juices flowing. That means when you're exhausted, your man can touch your cheek (or grabs your , or whatever) and BAM! You're in the mood and hot to gobecause your man is the only thing that turns you on, and no outside stimulus can affect that wanting. It also means that NOTHING besides ONLY the things your man does can ever turn you on. That means romance novels do nothing for you, or that hot kiss in Spiderman, or that thing your ex did with his tongue can NEVER turn you on. Oh--and since you both turn each other on so much, and you're the ONLY things that turn each other on, neither of you EVER needs to masturbate.

And you'll get all indignant at this post because you'll miss the sarcasm, and you'll miss the point, so let me sum it up for you: Every single day, things BESIDES your partner affect your sexual mood. Men are no more thinking of that stripper than you are thinking of the UPS guy. And if you don't want your man to ever look at another woman ever again, then you'd better lock him up or blind him.

[starlite1]

Hi All,

I've been reading all of the responses here, and I am torn LOL! You all make valid points! All I can add is that it comes down to trust. Me personally, I went to a strip club once with an ex years ago (not the recent ex), and at first I was okay, then I started to get jealous, even though I trusted him (and her). Then again, this is because of my own self-esteem (or lack there of) LOL!

I do like (and have felt the same about) what ARKDrummer said:
"I don't like my guy to go out to strip clubs and see these nakes prancing women around him. Then coming home to me to 'get off'. That is certainly NOT a turn on for me..all I would be thinking about is him comparing me to those girls. Plus the only reason he would want to do anything when he got home WAS because of THOSE girls..not anything I did."

[sokay]

[QUOTE=Romefalls19]

Sokay, now I take that as a direct attack at me.

Huh?! Compared to what I've been getting? Haha, that's nothing! A bit sensitive? Been watching too many of your sappy love movies? You're going to need to Buck Up, Soldier! Toughen up, Man! Lol...

The reason is because you suggested I accompany my man to a strip club, when I've already told you that he has no desire to go, and neither do I... So why the heck would either one of us want to waste our time and money doing something that doesn't interest us? When there are so many other activities we can do together or separately that do interest us?

You're telling me that I shouldn't go my best friends bachelor party because he has strippers?

Ummm... Nooo... no, I'm not, actually. I'm not telling you to do anything. I don't care what you do. You're only imagining that I do.

If you want to go to your best friend's bachelor party, by all means, please do! (Amusing)

You seem to immediately deem these girls "sluts, hoes" who want "your man", they don't want him.

I SEEM to, huh? Wrong. Those are your words, so they must be coming from somewhere... within you...

I don't deem these girls to be anything one way or the other. I give them no thought. They are not part of my life so why would I? I'm sure they don't spend a lot of time analyzing my job either, lol... They're doing a job, like many other employees.

[chuff]

Some of you have compared the whole strip club thing to watching sex and the city..let me tell you I'd rather be dead then watch that show. I'm a girl and certainly don't run off to watch a show or movie because of 'emotions' I like the action and comedy type stuff, not the whole lovey dovey stuff. Granted I will watch them, but not my cup of tea.

That's fine that it is not your cup of tea. Again and I swear I don't understand how this comes down to personal attacks but going to a strip club is not every guys cup of tea. That's not the point, the point is it is not cheating, it's a fantasy which is visual, much like women as a whole, not individually, are more emotional and as such get into the movies like sex and the city, shopping, or romance novels.

Also you guys have talked about the movies and how there are naked women in them. Well I for one don't think there should be full on nudity in them.

Well you are out numbered. Furthermore, don't watch a movie if there is nudity. Family movie constantly draw more at the box office then other movies, so the idea that nudity is the reason people go see a movie is not exactly factual. I will use the example of the girl from Saved by the bell who played a stripper in Showgirls. She was many teenagers fantasy and guess what, the movie bombed, and if you've ever seen it, you'd know why. Man it sucked. Seriously, it was really, really bad. Nudity, in and of itself does not draw. There has to be something more, and fantasy which strip clubs do sell is part of it.

It is absolutely pointless, the only reason it ever started was to get more people (guys) into watching films to make money.

Men are so evil, aren't they. Poor women who accept money to enhance there careers were used by evil men.

Nowadays you may find one or 2 more movies that have male nudity, but mostly of women.

I thought you were against nudity?

What I'm saying is, I don't like my guy to go out to strip clubs and see these nakes prancing women around him. Then coming home to me to 'get off'. That is certainly NOT a turn on for me..all I would be thinking about is him comparing me to those girls. Plus the only reason he would want to do anything when he got home WAS because of THOSE girls..not anything I did. That to me is just pretty sick. Get turned on by some one else..come home to use the girl. That just seems pretty pathetic.

This is not an insult although I think it's going to come off as one, but you are telling us that your guy can't appreciate what he has and is not turned on by you unless he goes to a strip club. If your relationship is based on such insecurities then how will you be able to deal with real problems that come between you?

You says guys are visual..we'll they have their own girl to be visual with...they want some dance, ask her for it..she'll gladly do it..and hey if you want the feeling of a strip club and having to pay for them. I'm pretty sure she'll take the money as well.

Great. Women are drama oriented, and you should stay home and give him all your drama and pay him for it. This sounds like the formula for the perfect relationship.

[Romefalls19]

Sokay, after looking on your past history, it appears you have a history of hurling insults at people so I will be brief and simply say you are entitled to your opinion and you have in no way hurt me, I simply defended my stance. I know several strippers and I have the upmost respect for them. Enjoy "running your household" and have a nice day :-D

[Romefalls19]

Well you are out numbered. Furthermore, don't watch a movie if there is nudity. Family movie constantly draw more at the box office then other movies, so the idea that nudity is the reason people go see a movie is not exactly factual. I will use the example of the girl from Saved by the bell who played a stripper in Showgirls. She was many teenagers fantasy and guess what, the movie bombed, and if you've ever seen it, you'd know why. Man it sucked. Seriously, it was really, really bad. Nudity, in and of itself does not draw. There has to be something more, and fantasy which strip clubs do sell is part of it.

I agree, that movie really did bomb at the box office... Poor Jessica Spano

[sokay]

Hi All,

I've been reading all of the responses here, and I am torn LOL! You all make valid points! All I can add is that it comes down to trust. Me personally, I went to a strip club once with an ex years ago (not the recent ex), and at first I was okay, then I started to get jealous, even though I trusted him (and her). Then again, this is because of my own self-esteem (or lack there of) LOL!

I do like (and have felt the same about) what ARKDrummer said:
"I don't like my guy to go out to strip clubs and see these naked prancing women around him. Then coming home to me to 'get off'. That is certainly NOT a turn on for me..all I would be thinking about is him comparing me to those girls. Plus the only reason he would want to do anything when he got home WAS because of THOSE girls..not anything I did."

Agreed.

That's the thing, if 'trust' to one person means not having sex with others, then fine.

And if 'trust' to others means not asking/paying/seeking out others to strip for you and rub their naked parts on you...

Hey, who is anyone to judge what someone else's comfort level should be?

Some people on here are merely stating their own comfort levels and preferences, without saying the others are 'wrong' for differing.

Some are trying to force their preferences on others.

[chuff]

Romefalls19, I'm forcing my preference on you... from Florida over the internet while you are in New Jersey. That makes sense.

[Romefalls19]

What preference would you have me do master?

[chuff]

You must enjoy strip clubs and consider it not cheating when the women rub all against you and charge you extra for the back room stuff that happens at all strip clubs that nobody can seem to name.

[ARKdrummer]

I definitely agree that everyone has their own opinion. I really could care less what other's views are on here, or whether the men or women on here go to strip clubs. You aren't my s/o so what you do on your time is your's to deal with, as long as it is all right with your partner of course, otherwise I guess the relationship won't last long. But anyway, my stance is and always shall be that it is wrong. I, thankfully, have a boyfriend that has complied with my wishes and I comply to his. Now that's not to say that we both request/demand something from the other and the other HAS to obey. The only things we do stop (or in some cases begin) doing is the things that hurt the other in some form and they see it as wrong or not the right thing to do. We do it because we love each other and don't want to have anything in the relationship that would harm the other.
To keep on with this topic my boyfriend has agreed that he doesn't even want strippers at his bachelor's party, he has me so why would he need them. He has also agreed that when/if he goes to a friend's bachelor's party he will leave once they are going to go to a strip club (if they do). If there is ever a time, that for some reason (I can't really see a reason) that he has no choice he has promised that he will tell me beforehand or as soon as he knows. He also knows the consequences if he does go, so yea, that's how we worked it. But like I said, to each his own (or her own :-P ).
Oh yes, and in response (don't remember who said it) to saying then we don't have to masturbate every day. Well, actually you are right, I don't and he doesn't, and we don't do that. But again, to each his own and that is a totally different subject.

[Romefalls19]

Rumor has it Chuff, the backroom stuff that unnamed persons are referring to is that you get juice boxes with fruit snacks. I'm just saying, that's word on the street here.

[chuff]

Well maybe in NJ that's what happens but down here in FL the rumor is... and again this is a rumor because I've never been invited to the back room, but the rumor is there is sunscreen and jet ski's with a bucket full of jelly beans. Odd combination but some day when I get in there I will be able to confirm this.

[sokay]

I definitely agree that everyone has their own opinion. I really could care less what other's views are on here, or whether the men or women on here go to strip clubs. You aren't my s/o so what you do on your time is your's to deal with, as long as it is alright with your partner of course, otherwise I guess the relationship won't last long. But anywho, my stance is and always shall be that it is wrong. I, thankfully, have a bf that has complied with my wishes and I comply to his. Now that's not to say that we both request/demand something from the other and the other HAS to obey. The only things we do stop (or in some cases begin) doing is the things that hurt the other in some form and they see it as wrong or not the right thing to do. We do it because we love each other and don't want to have anything in the relationship that would harm the other.
To keep on with this topic my bf has agreed that he doesn't even want strippers at his bachelor's party, he has me so why would he need them. He has also agreed that when/if he goes to a friend's bachelor's party he will leave once they are going to go to a strip club (if they do). If there is ever a time, that for some reason (I can't really see a reason) that he has no choice he has promised that he will tell me beforehand or as soon as he knows. He also knows the consequences if he does go, so yea, that's how we worked it. But like I said, to each his own (or her own :-P ).
Oh yes, and in response (don't remember who said it) to saying then we don't have to masturbate every day. Well, actually you are right, I don't and he doesn't, and we don't do that. But again, to each his own and that is a totally different subject.

I agree with you Ark, to each his/her own, you have every right to participate in your relationship in a way that makes you comfortable, and, incidentally, your preferences sound similar to mine.

Also, I agree with you regarding the notion of making certain concessions to please our partner. I know I've made compromises on skipping doing certain things. Big Deal. You don't hear me whining about it, lol... Some of the posts on here make it sound like making small compromises is the worst thing in the world and is equivalent to being forced.. Give me a break! That's a bit of an over-dramatization.

And as we know, if both aren't happy with the terms, we're free to go find a better match. No one's being forced to comply.

[Synnen]

I heard the back room --and I'm in MN here--has fishing, cigars, and beer. That's why so many men want to go back there, and it takes them HOURS to come out.