[userjan1]

Hi guys,
Here are d updates from my side...
After following the no contact rule for about 18 days,I was living a normal life... her memories had begun to fade away... whn one day out of d blue she contacted me( let me remind u.. that I had personally asked her not to contact me any more.. )...
Her contacting me made me uneasy at first... and my peace of mind was again disturbed...

Can anyone of you analyze her psyche? Why after all did she contact me again?
And what should be my reactions if she does d same in near future?

(to add:for her i can proove to be big help in settling her various other issues.......but i don't know wat she thinks)

[talaniman]

What did she say that has you so upset?

[userjan1]

We had a general talk... she just ask about my health etc...
Nothing offensive..
But her mere contacting me disturbed me... I did not get upset instead I got disturbd.. all d memories sort of revived

Kindly answer my abv three question... why after all did she contact me when I askd her not to?

[valinors_sorrow]

we had a general talk......she just ask abt my health etc...
nothin offensive..
but her mere contacting me disturbed me......i did not get upset instead i got disturbd..all d memories sort of revived

kindly answer my abv three question......why after all did she contact me whn i askd her not to??

Because she isn't following your directions, and you should know how that is-- you aren't either. LOL When its suggested to avoid anything about her-- it means her calls too. Don't answer when she calls. Don't take the call. Let her know you aren't willing to talk and hang up, if you don't have caller identification. She isn't forcing you to pick up the phone. You are not her victim.

How much of this is your doing? How helpless are you planning to pretend to be in this by making bad choices over and over? :rolleyes:

[userjan1]

Hi I didn't get d meaning of the last line..
I am not pretending man... its my true feelings that I write here:confused:

[talaniman]

She called after you told her not to. And you hold a conversation instead of asking what she wanted and why she has disregarded your wishes. I would think Val is trying to make you see that you didn't handle that so great or even in a mature way. Now yo want to know what she is thinking when you had a chance to find out first hand you got flustered instead of getting answers. No one here can read your friends mind nor do we care since you have dropped the ball. I would call her back and ask her why is she bothering you and don't do it again. Instead of flustered I would be PO"d

There are no regrets in life,just lessons

Have you learned yours?

[valinors_sorrow]

hi i didn't get d meaning of the last line..
i am not pretending man...its my true feelings that i write here:confused:

I didn't think your feelings were insincere. I believe you are in pain. What I meant was you make poor choices but make it look like its someone doing it to you. That's pretending to be helpless when you aren't. You may not be able to control her ringing you up but you can control what you do about it in response to it. You are responsible for whatever you do. I hope you choose wisely.

[rebel-2]

OK so I just wanted to add my 2cents! I know nothing about anything but hey... "somewhere along the way you "will" find a nother girl, and u will know its different, you feel all weird and youl have butterflies in your stomach"

What your feeling right now is all that gloomy darkness and it isn't pretty! Don't wear you heart on your sleeve!!

[userjan1]

Okies Val and Tal I got d sense... I will be more sincere in choosing and control my flicker urges!
I would also like to add that we had a very very formal conversation and I had already given her a clear hint of disinterest through this conversation

Have you learned yours?

I think I hv

[userjan1]

Hello frendz.. I hope you remember me!!
I have landed myself into a new problem... n I need your advice..

Current status is that with time and lesser contact my feelings for that girl have subsided... this is beneficial for me because the relationship had no meaning because she was already committed...

Now my problem is that I am feeling a sort of bonding and attraction for another girl... who happens to be her close friend... this girl helped me when I was emotionally disturbed... we go along well... I am confused that should I say something to her or not?? should I propose her or not?? my only fear is that this may classify me as a "flirt" which I am not... I am very serious with my relationships... and I don't want to play with others emotions...

Just tell me friends that is it wrong to go for someone else when the person you once liked could never be yours because she was already committed... does this classify you as a "flirt"??
I am confused that should I tell my feelings to the other girl or not... advice...

[userjan1]

Someone answer me plzz

[talaniman]

In my culture it is not unusual to have strong feelings for the females that are close to us, but marriage is out of the question until we can identify those feelings as true love, as opposed to lust, infatuation, gratitude or merely a passing fantasy. Any relationship takes time and work to cutivate.

[userjan1]

Then u mean to say that I should not say anything now and give sometime to myself to understand my true feelings??

[talaniman]

Yes!

[DtheDevil]

Man... I've experienced the same as you... go flirting that will help