[frangipanis]

We seem to be on the same wavelength. Add to that, not to look back. It's over for a reason... it's not what you wanted and you knew it wasn't good for you. The nice bits were lovely, but that was for a time and yet you always knew it was never going to sustain you for the long haul. Your present is what you live for and your future.

[elf5905]

I dated this man for 2years our relationship was OK with the expectations of his so called friend girls he always said they were just friends and nothing else I found that was a lie he also said he did not want a relationship that he was a loner. With that information in hand I moved on with life and got married to another man.I wanted commitment something he said he didn't want. Now that I'm married, moved on with my life he keeps calling me asking why I haven't call him saying how much he misses me. What is it with these men, after moving on with my life he want let go. I don't lead him on as if I want anything further to do with him. I never call him he always call or text me. Where is all these so call friend ladies he has? He's a pain in the . What can say to him so he'll get the message.

[frangipanis]

He isn't good for you or your marriage, so you need tell him in no uncertain terms to 'go away'... or your husband has to. Either that or block his emails and texts so he can't reach you anymore.

My guess is his relationships with other women were superficial to cover his insecurities or if they were like you, figured him out to be a player as well. He's lonely and is reaching out to you for solace.. or as a fallback for when he's feeling insecure with another woman. He has to figure out where he went wrong on his own, and part of that is leaving you alone to get on with your life with your husband.

[elf5905]

[QUOTE=elf5905;1767316]I dated this man for 2years our relationship was OK with the expectations of his so called friend girls he always said they were just friends and nothing else I found that was a lie he also said he did not want a relationship that he was a loner. With that information in hand I moved on with life and got married to another man.I wanted commitment something he said he didn't want. Now that I'm married, moved on with my life he keeps calling me asking why I haven't call him saying how much he misses me and he knows Iam married. What is it with these men, after moving on with my life he still want let go. I don't lead him on as if I want anything further to do with him. I never call him he always call or text me. Where is all these so call friend ladies he has? He's a pain in the . What can say to him so he'll get the message.

[elf5905]

He isn't good for you or your marriage, so you need tell him in no uncertain terms to 'go away'...or your husband has to. Either that or block his emails and texts so he can't reach you anymore.

My guess is his relationships with other women were superficial to cover his insecurities or if they were like you, figured him out to be a player as well. He's lonely and is reaching out to you for solace.. or as a fallback for when he's feeling insecure with another woman. He has to figure out where he went wrong on his own, and part of that is leaving you alone to get on with your life with your husband.

:)THANK YOU I'M NEW ON SITE HOPE I'M REPLYING RIGHT :)

Thank You are absolutely right he knows I am married I told my husband about him calling he did say to let him know when he calls be again I'm doing just that because he's pain in the butt.

[real soldier]

Most people can be very devastated,but you should try my teqniche, I'm wuite young but I've had my heart broken before when I was with this chinease girl but instead of doing all of that, I thought to myself f*** it its over it isn't my problem anymore , I just stood the hell up and moved on, I don't know about you but if you have the mind that sais, I don't need anybody but me, like be an independent person but still have a lot of mates, then you get over stuff so fast, I'm not a loner but I just know how to cope on my own, just say to yourself I don't need anybody but me, me is responsible for moving on so lets just move the hell on right away.

[Triund]

number 28 is the best advice. After breaking up with my boyfriend of years I wrote him a 13 page letter I never mailed it but just writing it was the best closer.

I did that too when I was first dumped 16 years ago. Though I did not write 13 page letter but wrote about 5 letters in a notebook not to be posted. That was my own idea and it helped me to ease my pain a lot.

[Xemnas]

After a break it is going to be rough very rough I also just got out of a long relationship and thought I would never be able to get over it.Honestly just get over it,you will feel a lot better,just hang out with friends and meet new people eventually you will forget about it and realize your better off.

[clemintinelove]

Cry as much as you want, male or female, it's OK to, just don't wallow!

That works once you get tired of crying you'll feel better

[roocha]

Go for a walk on the calm road,dial your best friends number and get start gossiping or cry as much as you can

[irock2006]

some great suggestions
lets add to it

23. get closer to friends who have been on the 'fringe'


anymore suggestions?

Heheheh I couldn't agree more

[frangipanis]

I really liked the suggestion of doing things you've always wanted to but never have. I'm going to write out a list and start doing them. At the top of my list are learning to sew and going on a contiki tour!

Also regarding the List of things to do after a breakup, I suggest:

- meditating
- getting your legs waxed at a salon
- going swimming (this is my favourite thing to do, it is so relaxing and revitalising at the same time). Or even just floating on your back is good.
- someone already suggested this, but I'll say it again, give yourself a make over; get a new haircut and wardrobe (or a few new outfits)
- get a massage (this is so relaxing and can tune you back into your body)

And for those that need to, go see a counselor for that extra bit of help.

They're all great suggestions. I love all those things too, but you can do that for yourself all the time. It's what helps keep you emotionally resilient while in a relationship and helps weather the inevitable storms.

Add - renovate. Keeps you insanely busy and productive; you feel great about the results and yourself afterwards.

[amicon]

Welcome to AMHD Andy.

I like your thread and some of these techniques you mention work for me,not only in breakup situations,but to wind down and relieve stress in everyday life.


Enjoy your time here.

[mixedupgirly]

So glad I saw this question because at thhis rate il be dealing with a breakup tooo...

The first day/night is always the hardest so firstly you could try theeses?
These could related to male or female...

1.eat choclate
2.watch a film a really soppy film
3.hve yoourself a good cry and get it all out of you system
4. call a friend or go out.. keeping yourself busy is good :)
5. (not my idea but maybe for some) snog another guy/girl haha
6. hot bath?
7. a yummy dinner
8.sleep on it, things are always better in the morning

As a few weeks go buy it'll sink in and.. you might be getting used too it but you could try these..

1. finish the work you never really started XD, work, school, collage, uni etc..
2. have your friends/family around you
3. helping others with their problems
4. a change of wardrobe?
5. hair cut/style a new you and a fresh start :)
6. do the tings you enjoy.
4. write a story or a diary
5. drawing is always fun

Yooull be okay :)

mixedupgirly x

[andywill63]

Yep totally agree a lot of the techniques can be used for a whole bunch of stressful situations. I tend to have those really annoying obsessive thoughts about my ex going around my head a lot and I find that calming the mind helps a lot deal with it.

[sphx26]

Yay! This is nice! :D

[the_original]

Very good thread man thank you!

[talaniman]

Andy your post was merged, and has become part off the relationship stickies.