[Saintas]

Maybe is nothing there.
What you gut telling you right now.without thinking too much. Just your instinct?

[Saintas]

Come on buddy..

[s2tp]

Wwsv,

Well yeah your in a pretty difficult situation here. You say you love her, yet you also seem to want to move on.. but I also see that as not wanting to hang on and be hurt... which I can respect.

It seems as though she may be talking to his other guy, and curious if someone else is out there... so that pretty much says you don't have her full attention.

But I don't necessarily that is the end for you guys. I would say you can try to stand be as the understanding boyfriend that you have been... but if thins don't come around in a week or so, I would suggest moving on. She may be feeling crowded, and just wants some time to breath an evaluate her feelings for you... but she should not take so long that you are sitting in the sidelines waiting for weeks/months... if she is going to start talking 'seriously' to other guys, then she should let you go.

As for you, there are many things you can do to create your own life. What do you like to do? You said you work a lot.. you didn't mention working out- like at the gym, but I think it's a good way to spend time. It helps get frustrations out, build self confidence... and gets you to meet other people. Maybe you want to try something new, like a martial arts class, or cooking... these al might sound stupid... but I'm just trying to throw ideas out there:)

My hobby has been coming here and giving advice.. haha pathetic I know, but I can't do much else while here in the Middle East.

Ok well I am actually really sleepy right now.. I just wanted to encourage you real quick to continue fighting the urge to call her. The last thing you want to do is push her away. If you an handle giving her space, and continue to communicate decently... then I would say to hold on for a little longer...

Best of luck~

[Saintas]

Nope.It is not good time to NC right now. I believe you must to reitarate the fact you love her truly and you sorry a lot about your mistakes and lies never has helped somebody as she knows.Not a begg but as statement .

[colonel000036]

Firstly, I will start off with a little background information. My girlfriend(18)(she is half italian half irish i know what a mix) and I (19) (100% indian from INDIA)have been dating for the past two years. As with every couple we have had our ups and OUR DOWNS....but we always seemed to work things out and get back together. Till, recently my girlfriend has just been acting differently, I feel a difference in the way she feels towards me lets call it a GUT feeling. Now she finally came out and told me she wants some space because we were hanging out with each other on a daily basis. Which for the last year she graduated school and was unemployed till just recently she is working m-f 9am-4pm and i work m-f 9am-1pm in the morning and 5pm-9pm at nite a sat 9am-1pm. So as u can see we havent been able to see each other as much but she still feels as if we do and that i hold her back from hanging out with her friends. And i understood the concern and dealt with her hanging out with her friends more often but she still wanted this so called SPACE, Now i am very hurt, i love her with all my heart, i just want her to be happy and i dont knwo what to do should i give her time and not call her just wait for her to call me. Since everytime she says she wants space i ask her if she wants me to move on and if she cares if i talk to other females and her immeddiate response is she still wants to be with me just not right now so i take that as she doesnt want me to move on just linger around waiting for her. And she did invite me to go with her to a new years party her dad invited her to so i dont know why she would invite me if she wants space...ya know? But how long is the space thing last for....Anyone know how long is too long and any advice frome experience. also, it is very hard for me to stop thinking about her i can't get her out of my mind and to resist not to call her is VERY VERY HARD...PLEASE HELP ME

You said she was unemployed until recently. Hmm. So, were you giving or providing any financial assistance in the time she was without employment? I am being the devils advocate here. Was she playing you? She has no money and you are her knight in shining armor. Helping with bills and taking her out. Now she has a job. Maybe she has new "friends". Now that she is self sufficient she doesn't need or want the help.

[wwsv2087]

You said she was unemployed until recently. Hmm. So, were you giving or providing any financial assistance in the time she was without employment? I am being the devils advocate here. Was she playing you? She has no money and you are her knight in shining armor. Helping with bills and taking her out. Now she has a job. Maybe she has new "friends". Now that she is self sufficient she doesn't need or want the help.

Yea I wish that, but she never liked me to buy her things she always wanted to get things on her own, her grandmother is very well off and gave me money when needed. I don't know what to do anymore I'm just hurt and I love her very much and don't want to move on but I don't want to hurt anymore its so hard to stay trying to be with her

OK well I'm trying to focus on new things, and there is this one girl that I have been with in the past she's the girl I cheated on my ex girlfriend with... my ex girlfriend told me when she said she wanted space that if she heard anything about me talking even saying hi to this girl she would never talk to me again. So I was wondering should I disregard that and hang out with this girl. Im scared because if my ex finds out I know she will def hate me for good but I'm bored and tired of waiting and not doing anything and this girl is very very attractive... so I'm confused should I just keep on waiting and see if me and my ex are def EX'S or just forget about it and have this other girl come over tonight?

[talaniman]

OK well I'm trying to focus on new things, and there is this one girl that I have been with in the past she's the girl I cheated on my ex girlfriend with... my ex girlfriend told me when she said she wanted space that if she heard anything about me talking even saying hi to this girl she would never talk to me again. So iwas wondering should I disregard that and hang out with this girl. Im scared because if my ex finds out I know she will def hate me for good but I'm bored and tired of waiting and not doing anything and this girl is very very attractive... so I'm confused should I just keep on waiting and see if me and my ex are def EX'S or just forget about it and have this other girl come over tonight?[

You are an absolute mess and should not be spreading your poison around to innocent people. The fact your anger and frustration has caused such a bad attitude may be an insight as to why you will always have relationship problems.

[wwsv2087]

You are an absolute mess and should not be spreading your poison around to innocent people. The fact your anger and frustration has caused such a bad attitude may be an insight as to why you will always have relationship problems.

Well I don't understand my ex girlfriend must still want to be with me if she doesn't want me talking to this other girl because she knows then she couldn't be with me. I was just asking because I'm lost and really don't know what I can do besides move on and have a one night stand... good idea or bad idea? Is that just a one night solution or could it actually help me get over my ex I really dotn want to even have to get over my ex but I'm losing all hope and I don't know if she will ever even be with me again she's confusing the sh*t out of me

[s_cianci]

I'd back off and give her the space she says she needs. Appearing too clingy or needy is a real turn-off to women. Don't call her or ask to see her for a while. Let her do her thing and you do yours. OF course, it's a two-way street so you have every right to see other women while on this "break" and I recommend that you do. If she invited you to this New Year's Eve party you can still go with her if you want to. If you'd rather make other plans for New Year's Eve (and I suggest you consider that possibility since she says she wants "space"), then that's OK too. Either way, don't call her, wait for her to call you. Let her miss you and wonder what you're up to. That may get her back on your doorstep again.

[wwsv2087]

I'd back off and give her the space she says she needs. Appearing too clingy or needy is a real turn-off to women. Don't call her or ask to see her for a while. Let her do her thing and you do yours. OF course, it's a two-way street so you have every right to see other women while on this "break" and I recommend that you do. If she invited you to this New Year's Eve party you can still go with her if you want to. If you'd rather make other plans for New Year's Eve (and I suggest you consider that possibility since she says she wants "space"), then that's OK too. Either way, don't call her, wait for her to call you. Let her miss you and wonder what you're up to. That may get her back on your doorstep again.

YEAAHHH thnks that's the advice I was looking for... it is a BREAK so I'm going to have my fun too. And I'm def not going to call her because I know she will be wondering why. But thnks everyone's been very helpful I'm glad I found this website

[rol]

Just read your other post! <<she found out because I got caught and she broke up wit me afta each time but she always took me back because I sai di would change... well finally afta the 5th time I did CHANGE... its been 9 months and I ahvent even attempted talking to another girl... me and her have been on and off and right now were off takig space is what she wants to call it... she can't trust me an di understand that but I know I'm a gret catch and she knows I do love her and I know a part of her believe I have changed... but now she thinks she needs this space.. which I don't understand because its been 9mths >>


You are obviously delighted she is looking for space so that you have an excuse to play around again!!
I am amazed about your attitude for an Indian guy!! You cheated on her 5 times! Obviously she needs space!!

[s2tp]

I agree with ROL! It looks like you have been looking for a way to go do your thing with other girls..? You have cheated on her so how do you consider that love? And if youdo Love her then why do you want to move on with other girls so much?

[rol]

He Has Absolutely No Idea What Love Is!! Go And Grow Up!! I hope the other guy she is talking to treats her better!

[wwsv2087]

He Has Absolutely No Idea What Love Is!!!!!!!! Go And Grow Up!!!!! I hope the other guy she is talking to treats her better !!

I think everyone got what i was misunderstood, i definitely don't want to be with any i mean any other girls... i just can't keep waiting because its really hurting me a lot, it affects every aspect of my life i can't eat sleep or focus at work and im in a management position at work so that's very important. The only reason i was asking about seeing other females is because it's the one thing that can get my mind off her which i know it would only get my mind off her for the time being. I did hang out with another girl last night but i dropped her off 20 minutes later i ddint feel right about even talking to another girl. I do very much so love my ex gf and would wait forever if i had to... i was very immature in the beginning of our relationship and i have changed my attitude towards relationship i would never cheat on her again. But i don't know what to do anymore>>>>

[talaniman]

Relax, go to sleep and reread this thread and just follow directions... You have 4 pages of crying by you and 4 pages of good suggestions... PICK ONE!

[wwsv2087]

OK well those who remember my past questions... me andmy ex girlfriend did the and contact thing. Now I haven't called her and she hasn't contacted me its been about 3 weeks. Now on christmas eve she contacts me and is crying because she says its very hard for her to be with out me on christmas. As well, one of her friends had seen me earlier in the day with a girl I used to be with when me and my ex girlfriend were going out.. so was her crying just from anger that I was with this other girl or from her heart and she really miss me. When she had called me last night she asked if I wanted to hang out after she left her family's house , I told her I didn't know if that would be a good idea, but still told her to call me and we would hangout.. It wasn't that bad we drove around and talked for a couple of hours nothing intimate. Now, I'm not sure what she's really thinking anymore because when I asked her if she was happy now and if she was happy with what she chose to do by not being wit me she said she wasn't happy... I do love her with all of my heart... I have to admit though I have been happier since I accepted me and her weren't a couple anymore but I do miss being with her and how she CAN make me feel when we aren't mad at each other and do have a good time I would trade that for anything... so I'm confused there's basically what has happened in the past couple weeks so please feed me some advice or criticism

[chuff]

Well, I went back to check up on what happened here before I posted and I noticed your 19 and make $150,000 year. So before I answer your post, I'm going to ask what exactly it is you do. I mean exactly.

[wwsv2087]

Well, I went back to check up on what happened here before I posted and I noticed your 19 and make $150,000 year. So before I answer your post, I'm going to ask what exactly it is you do. I mean exactly.

OK well, I started in this company when I was 16 called Versatile MArketing Solutions, I was doing entry level sales over the phone.. my company calls customer over the phone and we give them a chance to receive a free 1200 dollar general electric simon 3 alarm system installed and activated free of charge and they pay 32.99 a month for the monitoring service with signing a 36 month agreement(contract)... when I first started I just called homeowner gave them the good news and if they were interessted I told them an installtion manager would call them back and answer there questions and give them the exact monitoring rate since I said it was about a dollar a day and only gave basic information of equipment(all of this was scripted)... now I did that for about 8 months then I become a CLOSER the installation manager and I also acted as an assistant manger in the office. At that timei was making between 750 and 1500 a week working 24 hours... now that was for about 5 months until I became a manager of my own office which the company bought for me to run in coventry, ri... as a manager I basically train new employees give them the knowledge of have about what are company does,. I keep them motivated as well run the office as my own business. The way I get paid now if for every install or person one of my employees in my office gets I get 400 dollars for when I do between 1-9 in a week but once I hit 10 installs in week I make 450 for each its an incentive to hit 10. NOw out of this 4500 when I hit ten I have to pay my employees payroll basically what is left after payroll is my PAYCHECK... as you can see if my office doesn't produce I don't make money id actually lose it but I'm in this position because we never get less then 10... and my payroll for ten installs can be between 1,000 and 2,000 dollars depending on ho wmany employees work and I do pay each emplyee differently based on experience and if they receive hourly or are strickly commission... but yea I know I'm lucky and I do work my off but it does pay offf in the end... my ex girlfriend knows I make this much money and she isn't a golddigger even though I used to love buying her things she neva asked for anything and that's one thing I always noticed of her...

[chuff]

Well okay. I'm not sure I understood all that but that was in depth so I'm going to tell you my opinion.

I read in a follow up post where you said you were needy. The girlfriend probably assumed that you were going to continue contact with her and not be afraid to let her go. That's one reason no contact works so well. It gives you a little power back which you sort of state you gave to her.

That being said, it's the holidays, and people have are emotional during the holidays. When she was faced with the prospect of facing Christmas alone she caved to her emotions. She also wants you to appear at a New Years party which you make sound very important to her. She could be setting the ground work now for you to come to that but once the New Year hits those emotions die down and real life starts happening again. I would still pull way back and don't commit anything to her. Don't even commit to that New Years party. Maybe later in the week but if she asks tell her you've got some other options your considering now.

[talaniman]

Well as I remember you were hoping she would come back and it seems she has. You have said you've changed and would like to try and redo this relationship so all the advice in the world won't stop you, so keep us updated and good luck.