[Cutloose2]

Friend of ours in work don't know as she has said nothing and it isn't my place to say anything.. Even the guy that got me stressed doesn't know... and she works with him! The chair is to big to be taken out by friends amicon it took 2 guys an hour to get it in... Besides which it isn't my chair and as has been stated I owe her nothing I isn't paying for its removal that's up to her she broke it off not me.. Any damage to my house will also be paid by her (Not being aggressive but its my home) I was considering doing nothing but that would make my recovery longer and land me with a bill for new locks and alarm (As she has the remote to control it... Just don't understand why she doesn't get the stuff exchanged quickly... lets move on and get on.. Im not an aggressive person and we never had an argument or raised word even in the breakup so she knows I won't kick off about it,

Im hoping it isn't a case of more games to linger this on as I know the chair means an awful lot to her..

[amicon]

Ok-I'll go with Friend4u's option-short,polite email telling her she has until such and such a date to arrange the removal of the chair-all costs to be paid by her-plus posting your keys back to you-pronto!

[Cutloose2]

There is a rumour in work that we have split but no one actually knows they assume but don't know.. hence the questions of fight for her and the rest... people want info because the guy that was pressuring me is one of the senior managers and works closely with her.. The staff are curious because they know we haven't spoken to each other and are waiting for this other guys reaction but there hasn't been one so I know he doesn't know... anyway that's a side issue...

Thanks... It does make me a bit sad that I have to break NC.. I will wait a week and see if any arrangements come through but I guess even if they do I have to break NC to agree it.. Oh well start again haha.. I will get there in the end!

It all seems like one long game to me... Im not analyzing it as such but if you read back there were weird texts then accusations by her that she wudnt be playing the game by my rules then the try to butter me up bit today coupled with the lack of getting personal stuff back (After 6 weeks now) its just dragging it out... I wouldn't mind if the damm thing was in the garage but it's a constant reminder when I get out of bed.. Not good

[friend4u178]

Your going to be breaking NC for a good reason and to resolve a situation that is delaying the healing , that's why I think in this case an email is fine. Your not doing it for the wrong reasons which so many Dumpees do to try to get some sort of reaction and interaction from their Ex and leaves them hanging with False Hope.

Seems to me your trying to get control of the situation and in my opinion that's a good thing.

[amicon]

Well,she should have had the decency to return your keys immediately after the breakup.
I guess a week's a good timelimit as regards the chair.
I gave my ex a month to pick his stuff up-then I gave it to Oxfam.

[Cutloose2]

I would if I could get the damm thing out! The keys may be the trade of.. she knows I won't get rid of it while she has the house keys... as I say and others have said you can't understand a woman's brain... But I know if it was me I would want my things back asp if I was the breaker... Something doesn't smell right to me I don't know why it just doesn't... Even after the breakup she knew I had already got and wrapped all her xmas stuff and I still said look its over they were bought for you just take them... nothing.. She had bought my little girl (Stays with me every week lives with her mum) presents and the child knew that but didn't have the decency to let her have them or even mention them.. Thats her choice of course but you don't do that to kids (She is only 12)... anyway the email it is a week today.. then I burn it after chopping it up to get it out haha... Joking

Peace... 1.. 2.. 3... 4.. 6.. 6.. 7.. 8.. 9.. 10 I'm calm and back in NC mode

[amicon]

Sorry about your daughters pressies- your well shot of your ex I think.
You could save the chair for Guy Fawkes.. .
As for understanding women,being one myself, we're all different.

It's 1115 pm here so good night.
Have a good day tomorrow.

[Cutloose2]

As are men... goodnight

[Cutloose2]

Hi Guys another day done and NC sort of didn't come off.. Had to talk to her about work stuff on the phone but I did not bring in the relationship or anything like that.. Then got an email of her asking if I was OK... I didn't reply.. She phoned and said she hoped I didn't think she was coming across short with me.. I said no everything is fine and left it at that... Strange sort of day but I'm off now till Thursday and she is off till Saturday so won't have to go there again this week, It amazing how far my feeling have changed I still miss her and have feelings but they are slowly going further back.. When I saw her yesterday she looked really pale and drawn (Shes petite anyway) but didn't look well... Anyhow its another successful day... Oh no mention of the return of the things from her... whats new 6 days and she gets the email... Payday tomorrow so no excuse for it not to be removed by her... Thanks all hope all OK

[amicon]

Yes you did well-workrelated conversations that are a must don't count in my book-so you're still NCing along nicely!

It really does get better day by day and it's good you've got those days off.

Hope you get your keys back soon though, what a pain in the neck.

[Cutloose2]

Thanks amicon, yes it is I was hoping that I wouldn't have to do the asking but she still has 6 days... She keeps putting these smiley face things like this :-) at the end of emails its as if its trying to provoke me I would have thought she realised that I was keeping it formal but she is a strange creature and very deep

Oh forgot to say.. I found a way of feeling good about me.. I put a profile on a dating site... Didnt join or anything just put it up (I isn't ready after almost 7 weeks) but I got loads of mail (God knows what's in them you can't open them until you join) but it makes you feel that she isn't the only one and others are interested I find it boosts ye confidence

[amicon]

No you need to be properly over the ex before you start thinking about dating again-though having one's confidence boosted is nice. :-)

[Cutloose2]

Day off today and tried to fill the day but I hurt... One thing I've learnt over the last week or so is that no matter how hard to pretend to yourself you can't stop the feelings you have... Not ashamed to admit it but I found myself crying today going back over memories I have with her,, Its hard and it hurts but I know I'm another day closer to being at peace with myself... Im sure some will say that I deserve the pain and hurt for telling a lie and I do deserve it.. I didn't mean to do it and it wasn't a cover up of anything it was my way of saying I needed her at the time but I couldn't because I felt so weak at the time and didn't want to come across that way... I have learnt a big lesson so please don't judge me.. I paid the ultimate price for not just the fib but maybe for not being as open with how I felt right through the time with her.. NC for 1 week today.. Yes she's further away but I'm that little bit more acceptant of the situation.. I will know when I am ready to move on and that for me will be when the phone goes and I don't look for her number or when I pass her in work and don't want to hold her... That time will come... how long it takes I don't know I just know I have to get htrough each day as it comes thanks for reading all

[amicon]

Crying's good for you-it relieves tension.

We're not here to judge you-you are well aware that you made a mistake and the person you need to forgive now is yourself.


You!re doing very well with the NC.
It gets better-one day at the time.

You have time off,keep busy,maybe see your daughter?

[Cutloose2]

NC can and is the hardest thing I've ever done... your natural instinct is to go towards and confront what is causing the pain... but by doing that you cause more pain because you get rejected and the circle doesn't end.. I don't know suppose its different for everyone but its hard... Still nothing about this damm chair or my keys... daughter at the weekend so that will keep me busy she's growing so quick amicon thanks you are like a guardian angel on a shoulder that slaps you every time you get weak.. (Thats a good thing) thanks

[amicon]

I'm not slapping you- I'm just flapping my wings.. . Thanks for the confidence.

The beauty of this site is we're all strangers trying to help each other out!

As for keys etc you have your own deadline, so stick to it.

Spend some great time with your daughter, our children are the most precious beings on the planet.
And don't they just grow up quick, my son's seventeen and he towers over me by thirty centimetres.

[Cutloose2]

Hi guys,haven't been on for a while, hope a;; is OK... Well wwhere am I in my recover.. well no keys and no exchange of things and the final curtain still evades me... I have stopped looking for the txs finally afer 8 weeks but I can't come to the final resolution until things are exchanged... I don't know why she feels that she wants to hang on to them or leave her stuff here.. I have given another deadline of Thursday 04th Feb.. that was last week by email again... she replied and said she didn't feel she wanted to collect them and would pass my keys and stuff when she does get her things... she has said that she will get removal men to do it.. Thats when I gave Thursday as the day.. Ive heard nothing since and I'm hoping that will be an end to it... If they don't turn up then I guess I'm in limbo and will not bother anymore.. so frustrating and I explained in the NICE email that the keys are symbolic to me... they were me letting her into my little world and for me to get closure I wanted them back and her to collect her things... Anyway keep you updated... Thanks all

[amicon]

This time I suggest you stick to the deadline and if it's not met-get rid of the chair and change your locks.
You've given her plenty of chances to act like an adult and do the right thing.

Time to be tough and NOT let her play you for a fool anylonger!

[Cutloose2]

Amicon, I totally agree with you... I feel that I am being played with and kept hanging but no more the time has come to end this charade once and for all... A close friend of both off ours spoke to me last week he said she had talked to him and blamed herself as well as me for the split.. I asked him not to talk to me about it (I knew I was getting stronger after that)... She text me last week asked if I was going to a work mates leaving party as she wouldn't go if I was... As it would make it easier for me!. I didn't reply.. She didn't go and neither did I... Why should I feed her guilt and self asteem by replying... 3 days to go we wioll see if the chainsaw has a day of destiny with a chair soon enough haha.. Thanks all

[amicon]

You did well by not replying to her text! I hope you feel that you are moving on- I think you are.
I hope you won't have to oil that chainsaw-but remember- you are in charge.
If she can't act like a grownup and sort those things out-well tough- her loss.
.