[amicon]

Bump in the road New.
Don't worry about it,and dreams are just dreams-I hope you have a good day.

[Newguy2009]

Hello all. I'm a bit tipsy and want to contact my ex, I know it's a bad idea but I just wanted to reach out to all my peeps and get some feedback

[Wondergirl]

Tip from one of your peeps: DO NOT CONTACT HER!! (especially when you are tipsy or worse)

What can I say or do to convince you that I'm right?

[chuff]

Tip 2. Don't drink because then the urge to call her is worse.

[vanheart]

This whole thing is tipsy.

Go NC. And get clear. Unclouded. Cleanse.

[vanheart]

Alcohol is your problem.

Get that one cleared up, then worry about relationships.

You say you are working on it, but tipsy. Did you mean wasted? You don't need her to quit. Or anyone else to get your life on track.

Start being honest with yourself first. Alcohol clouds things.

Sounds like rehab and a good therapist is in order.

[Newguy2009]

Hey, thanks all! Im glad to say that there was not a drunk dialing session! I didn't call her and will not ever! It was a going away party for one of my lady friends and all that so it was like drink! Drink! Drink! I know. But it was fun and thanks for listening to me.

I had a bump in the road and didn't even want to go out

[vanheart]

Fix your problems first.

[Newguy2009]

Thanks for the advice van! I like the one liner. You act like you know me. Now you are saying I have a problem? Or problems?

[vanheart]

What do you think?

That's the question. Not for me to answer, really.

You say its easier said then done, To me that sounds like you're not trying or invested in yourself. Only denying.

If you can't do it on you're own, seek some help. We here can only do so much.

YOU have to want it.

You say you've had a prob for 2 years. Think that had something to do with this?

C'mon.

[Newguy2009]

I came here to vent and you are talking about my problems?

This all happened the other night and I'm sober now so why are you attacking me?

I went out with some friends and there was alcohol but that's not the issue here, I just wanted to vent and say I wanted to contact the ex but realized it was a bad idea. One of the drawbacks of NC. Just wanted to tell all that it isn't easy

[vanheart]

Sorry man, keep up the sobriety.

And yup, it isn't easy.

There's no attacking. Just honesty.

Glad you didn't drunk dial her again.

[Newguy2009]

Oh me too, I wanted to so bad and that's why I came here cause I can be weak at times and I admit it. That I look back and can honestly say that I am a better person through all this! Not once did she make me dinner or make me feel special ( I did it all the time) but that's not the point. The point is that sometimes things just aren't meant to be and as much as it sux, life is good! And there are plenty of others that want me just as much and more...

Thanks van and I know you mean well

[vanheart]

Keep up the sobriety.

[Newguy2009]

I want to completely let go but we still have this house together and she has flown the coop. leaving me with all the bills

[vanheart]

So let go.

[Newguy2009]

I have but... her name is still on the loan and that's the ONLY thing that makes me want to contact her. I know that one day I will have to either sell or refinance. I cannot refinance at the moment because I don't make enough money. Do you see the dilema?

[vanheart]

Yeah I mean well. Thanks.

Do you?

This is beyond bills, booze, or a girl. What is it you want?

Man up.

[Newguy2009]

I've accepted the fact that our relationship is OVER. I'm not hanging on to false hope or anything like that. Her name is still on the loan to my house and I know that one day I will have to contact her and one of two things will happen...

1. she will get half

2. She will sign a quit claim deed and I will get what I deserve

[vanheart]

Well, get that resolved asap.

Then get on.

And learn from this one.

Take a hard look. At yourself first.