What now

azif · Oct 13, 2009, 04:37 PM

3 weeks no contact I guess. Though I just called her but didn't speak, wasn't sure what to say, just wanted to hear the sound of her voice.

I know letting go is probably the right thing to do but I just cant. Mutual friends said she was having doubts about whether it was the right thing a week after but I haven't spoken to them since.

I still have stuff at her place, and have some of her things. So I will have to see her eventually. What do I do if I want her back? I know it'll hurt getting rejected again and it will delay any healing, but what do I have to lose?

paxe · Oct 13, 2009, 07:23 PM

Look, what is done is done and I speak from experience. Hell, most of us do. As hard as it is, it's over between her and you and the longer you take to accept it the more pain you are going to give yourself.

Look girls will say things especially right after the break up but it means s****. I've been there and a LOT of people have been there. Read the threads, you'll see.

In the end of the day, you need to take the pain and get over it. It's one of those obstacles that life trows at you, you either face it or you go into more pain. After that obstacle you'll learn something and you'll be stronger in life, facing much more hard obstacle.

azif · Oct 14, 2009, 12:30 AM

Yep you were right, moment (or day) of weakness on my part.

Yep, what she and others says doesn't really matter only her actions

Yep, Thanks!

azif · Oct 16, 2009, 07:48 PM

She hasn't tried to contact me since ( a month now ). If she changed her mind then I guess she would have by now. Guess I'm not worth it

Feeling so torn up

I still feel I don't want or care about anything but her

paxe · Oct 16, 2009, 08:28 PM

Don't worry too much. It takes time to heal, and yes it sucks, but it is for your own good. At least she is not giving you false hope. We always have this hope in us, but it fades away, and we get over it.

azif · Oct 22, 2009, 10:20 PM

When should I get my stuff back should ileave it longer?

A mutual friend (more the exs than mine - but other friends are prob going who I haven't seen in a while) is having a housewarming, she's going to be there, should I go?

Still want her back but I realise that's not going to happen :(

amicon · Oct 22, 2009, 10:38 PM

Azif going to the party s not a good idea. You still want her back and the party situation will only add to your false hopes and will be detrimental to your healing.
As for your belongings,do you really need them back?
Take care and be good to yourself.

azif · Oct 22, 2009, 11:15 PM

Mmm thanks, yeah I'm not sure if I really can be around her yet, and don't really feel like explaining the situation to others

I don't physically need them but want to get the suits back, so it can wait

azif · Nov 1, 2009, 01:43 AM

What do you all do when you feel empty? I don't feel there's anything I want anymore.

I'll work for 40 more years, maybe ill find someone maybe I won't, retire and die. Why bother?

amicon · Nov 1, 2009, 02:00 AM

If I feel sad or lonely I try to do things that cheer me up,phone a friend listen to music watch a good film -just generally pampering myself.
Life goes on and it s mostly good.
I hope you feel better tomorrow.

paxe · Nov 1, 2009, 06:55 AM

Be active, don't let yourself go down. This is why activities and volunteering are important. Find your dream, your own way... life is beautiful if you work into it.

azif · Nov 6, 2009, 11:08 PM

Thanks folks good points. I have to get my act together and start doing things but it s easier said than done

There's 2 parties tonight, I don't get invited often but I don't know whether I should go :S

One where I actually know people she will be at...
And the other I only know probably one or two people

It'll take 2 hours to get to them, do I go?

paxe · Nov 6, 2009, 11:25 PM

Go to the party! Have fun! Go the one where you know you won't meet her and that will also be perfect to meet new people.

amicon · Nov 6, 2009, 11:27 PM

I would go and try to have a good time. You might make new friends-always a good thing.

azif · Nov 14, 2009, 04:47 PM

Another question

Have a booking for the best restaurant in Australia (had been waitlisted for ages) next weekend

Do we go as friends? Assuming I ask her and she says yes :S

My parents were going to be paying for it as a graduation present. Her parents got me something so mine feel obliged to either pay for this or get her something :S

paxe · Nov 14, 2009, 07:26 PM

Here's my advice, go with a real friend (girl, boy or animal) but not with her. You are suppose to apply NC all the way, there is no turning point. Find a date and invite her to that place.

azif · Nov 16, 2009, 03:53 AM

Called... she booked a haircut.

So I guess that saved a few awkward hours. Im not sure what I feel anymore for her, I want her back but then its probably part loneliness and I guess even if we did get back together it wouldn't last. It seems like nothing lasts anymore so nothing matters.

Looks like I'm cancelling

Not sure if the place is really a first date sort of place lol... things could only go downhill from there

azif · Nov 16, 2009, 06:05 AM

You were right. Now I'm lying in bed awake...

amicon · Nov 16, 2009, 06:52 AM

See it as a temporary setback.
Start the NC again and stay on that path. Good luck.

Something_Here · Nov 16, 2009, 08:17 AM

It's bound to be up and down azif. As someone (Talaniman?) said to me, don't think that just because you had a bad day, there won't be good ones as well.