[ScottGem]

I have been drunk once in my life and the only reason I am aware of it is because I was at a resort for New Years Eve and I drove the other couple we were with back to their room, dropping them off right at the door. The problem was that the road did not go to their door. Nor do I recall doing so. (Note I was not driving on public roads only within the resort). They tell me I was not driving erratically I just drove over the edge of the parking lot right up to their room.

So yes, I believe anyone who drinks until the room is spinning does have a problem. How serious that problem is depends on how frequently they do this and under what conditions.

Let me add that this is my own opinion. I would be interested to hear from someone who is an Alanon or AA counselor or maybe a medical professional as to what they say.

[Justwantfair]

My partner doesn't drink and to him, anyone who ever does is an alcoholic or at the very least has a serious problem. I think that if you don't understand or appreciate drinking then it is difficult to relate. I drink about once every three-four months, but I will get drunk. That isn't the factor that defines an alcoholic. Those factors have so much more to do with the choices you make and the price(s) you are willing to pay for alcohol, then the fact that you enjoy getting drunk.

Having a good time (and drinking is a good time to some people) doesn't make you an alcoholic. I think you are defining on a very strict scale to weigh everyone who enjoys getting drunk as an alcoholic.

[ZoeMarie]

So here's what I thought after reading your post, and I don't know the whole story, but I think she may be trying to get you to break up with her. That's just the feeling I get after reading everything on here. There was another post that stood out to me on here, that maybe she wasn't as drunk as she made herself out to be.

I used to drink quite a bit with friends at parties when I was in college, made poor choices, had sex with guys while I was drunk. I was still completely aware of the choices I made when I made them. I don't think that what she did was involuntary. It was just stupid.

[slapshot_oi]

But "drinking to get drunk" is clearly a sign of alcoholism... I have been drunk once in my life...

Well now it all makes sense, being as you've only been drunk once, you simply can't relate to those that do drink, because drinking to get drunk isn't a sign of alcoholism. Being drunk also doesn't make you completely unable to make reasonable decisions. A lot of people drink to get drunk and have a great time doing it, and to label all of them as alcoholics is really saying that no one is. Not to mention, it's also very judgmental.

What makes an alcoholic is when you know your drinking has gotten out of hand, when you consciously prioritize your days around how, when, and where you'll be getting your next drink, when you know it's ruining your life but you just can't or won't stop. Alcoholics aren't stupid, they know it's bad, but they keep doing it, that's why it's an addiction.

I agree with kctiger in that diagnoses are rampant these days, if you have one bad day you're clinically depressed, if you have drink more than someone thinks you should you have a drinking problem, if you smoke just forget it... no one likes you.

I was drunk. I was still completely aware of the choices I made when I made them. I don't think that what she did was involuntary. It was just stupid.

This alone should settle this whole dispute.

[ScottGem]

Well now it all makes sense, being as you've only been drunk once, you simply can't relate to those that do drink, because drinking to get drunk isn't a sign of alcoholism.

I've never climbed Mount Everest. Doesn't mean I can't relate to people who have. Again, I've stated my opinion based on things I have read, people I have spoken to, etc. I've seen nothing yet to make me reverse that opinion.

[Justwantfair]

I've never climbed Mount Everest. Doesn't mean I can't relate to people who have. Again, I've stated my opinion based on things I have read, people I have spoken to, etc. I've seen nothing yet to make me reverse that opinion.

You don't have to change your opinion, but stating that everyone who enjoys getting drunk is an alcoholic, is condesending and judgemental, so know that personally - since I have an alcoholic for a mother and have grown up with what a true alcoholic is, I find it offensive to have to be thrown in that category. A 'black out' as is what you had, the only time you drank, is an alcoholic tendency, but it's not what drinking is like for most people. Most people will not 'black out' from a night of hitting the town.

[none12345]

I believe drunk or not, sleeping with another person is cheating. The only exception is rape, when you are forced to having sex. When you are drunk, you are not forced into anything if you're judgement is off but if someone pushes themselves on you then that is rape..

Even if one is drunk, and willing to have sex due to lack of judgement that is clearly not considered rape. And I believe if you are willing to have sex with someone and you're judgement is off, you are still willing although one may and that is considered cheating.

[slapshot_oi]

I've never climbed Mount Everest. Doesn't mean I can't relate to people who have. Again, I've stated my opinion based on things I have read, people I have spoken to, etc. I've seen nothing yet to make me reverse that opinion.

I see, it's going to be one of these conversations... all right, I give up.

At the very least you should refrain from stating your opinion on alcoholism because people will be offended, it hits pretty close to home for some.

I just saw my a buddy/ex-guitarist of my band this weekend that I haven't seen in years. I heard he had a drinking problem, but I didn't expect it to be as bad as it was. He was drunk when I first saw him, which was noon, by that time he had polished off a 750ml bottle of Jack Daniels like does every single day since three or more years ago. He was in college but got the heave-ho for academic performance (or lack thereof), best guitarist I've known to date... now he's just a loser, and most recently a junkie too. He was telling me how his own parents have, "given up on him", his dad told him those exact words. His roommates were telling me that they don't care what happens to him anymore so long as he still pays rent, so now, all he has going for him is my best friend, who, with his daughter, goes over the alcoholic's house every night after he gets home from work, taking time out of his own day just to keep him company so he'll have something other to do than drink; talk about a good friend. It sucks to see 'cause I want to help him but he just doesn't care. His parents, his roommates, his friends who are near him tried talking with him, helping him, taking away his booze, brought him to clinics, he's done rehab and all that stuff but he's still on the sauce. I think he was even arrested once. There's nothing we can do. It sucks. My alcoholic friend is 24 and my best friend is 23.

Even as I write this I don't know whether I should even care 'cause he doesn't.

[Alty]

I enjoy a drink once a day. I can tell you, I'm not an alcoholic. Of course denial is the first sign. ;)

Alcohol, like anything else, can be bad for you if not taken in moderation. If you find yourself drinking at breakfast, drinking at lunch and then continuing to drink the entire night and this is a daily occurrence, then yes, you probably are an alcoholic.

Even people that only drink occasionally can be labelled alcoholics if they don't know when to stop.

It's excess, that's the problem, that's when it's considered an addiction. If it affects your life, those around you, then you are most likely an alcoholic.

A little secret, and damnit I'm tired of telling the "this is my life" stories.

I drank a lot as a teen. I had serious issues, alcohol relaxed me, released my inhibitions. I'll be the first to say that it was a bad idea, but when you're young you don't realize it.

I did sleep with random guys because I had too much to drink and didn't really care. No, I wasn't raped by these guys, I consented. Was I in a state of mind to consent, well, I'll leave that to the jury. ;)

I still enjoy alcohol today, but not every day and only rarely do I feel the effects (usually when we're having a get together). Do I need alcohol? No. Do I count the hours until I can drink? No. Am I an alcoholic? No.

Crap. I also smoke.

I'll go sit in my corner now. ;)

[talaniman]

I would be interested to hear from someone who is an Alanon or AA counselor or maybe a medical professional as to what they say.

Alcoholic- One who drinks, and it causes problems in his/her life. Doesn't matter how much, or how little.

[Alty]

Let's put this into perspective, shall we?

One of our long time members, the inspiration for my signature, is dying of liver failure because of alcoholism.

Scott, you know I adore you, but just because someone drinks, doesn't mean their an alcoholic.

For the OP, well, she has issues, but is alcoholism one of them? Not enough info, not enough to go by.

My take on it. She has something in her past that is making her act out this way. She doesn't seem to care that her actions are hurting the person she claims to love. Been there, done that, wrote the book.

Either way she needs help figuring out why she's doing what she does.

I'm not ready to label her, I don't have that right.

[Alty]

Alcoholic- One who drinks, and it causes problems in his/her life. Doesn't matter how much, or how little.

And it would seem that the OPs girlfriend fits that description, but is it really the alcohol?

I'm still not buying it.

This just feels like something so much deeper then mere alcohol.

[none12345]

Tecniqually I got this off from dictionary.com

Al⋅co⋅hol⋅ic  /ˌælkəˈhɔlɪk, -ˈhɒlɪk/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [al-kuh-haw-lik, -hol-ik] Show IPA
–adjective 1. of, pertaining to, or of the nature of alcohol.
2. containing or using alcohol.
3. caused by alcohol.
4. suffering from alcoholism.
5. preserved in alcohol.

Notice number 2. Anyone who uses alcohol is techniqually an alcoholic.

[none12345]

Off the dictionary itself. Depends how you mean it pretty much.

[Alty]

Look up virginity, that's misleading too.

Just saying.

[none12345]

Look up virginity, that's misleading too.

Just sayin.

Virginity can be multiple meanings depending on how you use it, so does alcoholic. It is off the dictionary and it is official in the english language.

Im just saying that it would be more understandable if there is a common interpretation of the word "alcoholic" people refer to here or if there is a better word that suits it better.

[Alty]

Okay, we're losing track here. Guilty!

The bottom line is that the OP asked for input, but really doesn't want it.

The title of the thread should have been "I want someone to tell me I'm right".

Now we're arguing amongst ourselves and the OP has checked out of the entire equation.

It is what it is, the balls in his court now.

[ScottGem]

You don't have to change your opinion, but stating that everyone who enjoys getting drunk is an alcoholic, is condesending and judgemental, so know that personally - since I have an alcoholic for a mother and have grown up with what a true alcoholic is, I find it offensive to have to be thrown in that catagory. A 'black out' as is what you had, the only time you drank, is an alcoholic tendency, but it's not what drinking is like for most people. Most people will not 'black out' from a night of hitting the town.

Pertaining the portion highlighted in blue. Did I ever say that? I don't think so. What I said was that it "is a strong sign of being an alcoholic." I am perfectly aware that different people react to or enjoy alcohol in different ways. So yes it would be presumptuous for me to make such a blanket statement, which is why I didn't. I do think that it is a warning sign, but I also think that there are other factors that could mitigate it.

I will add that I am, generally, very careful in my choice of words. So I will caution anyone to read what I actually say not what they think I said.

[ScottGem]

Tecniqually i got this off from dictionary.com

Notice number 2. Anyone who uses alcohol is techniqually an alcoholic.

No because #2 refers to a different form of the word.

[ScottGem]

Scott, you know I adore you, but just because someone drinks, doesn't mean their an alcoholic.

And I never said that either. Anymore than everyone over 7 feet tall is a basketball player. But there are good odds that they might be.