Is it me or is it him?

Corvas · May 20, 2009, 12:01 PM

I wish is right. Prolonging the inevitable is just going to cause more hurt an pain in the long run.

If you can explain this to him, that you know that ultimately it's better for both of you, then he will understand. It will still hurt, but it will hurt a lot less than if you finally do it in another 5 years.

There are some great articles on breaking up on verytogether.

All the best!

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deeplydisturbed · May 21, 2009, 07:04 AM

If you stick with him, your just hurting him more. You have 2 options:

1) try counseling.
2) break up.

Your wasting his time by letting him think you are in love with him and that you guys have the possibility of a future. That's kind of selfish.

nitelight198073 · May 21, 2009, 07:07 AM

You both will be miserable if you do not end it... it will hurt him more the longer you wait

jw2010 · May 22, 2009, 09:25 PM

Its very possible that he is just saying all that stuff to bring you back to him because he knows you still care about him. The best thing to do is let him down easy and then don't talk to him anymore. If you still communicate with him, it lets him think he still has a chance of getting you back. If you really think he would danger himself, give him a number to a nearby crisis prevention service or something similar. Either way, whatever he does, it is not your fault.

talaniman · May 23, 2009, 07:39 AM

Don't let him emotionally blackmail you. He has to deal with the way things turned out, and you can help by having no contact with him, whatsoever.

Netucator007 · May 24, 2009, 11:40 AM

You can mention that you will be around if he would like to talk. There's nothing anyone can do if one person doesn't mention what the problem is. For the time being, don't contact him. Give him space. He'll eventually come around. ;)

Inaru · Jun 9, 2009, 10:32 AM

I broke up with my 5-year long boyfriend about a month ago. I decided to date someone else who made me believe I'd be happier with anyway, but I'm not. I really miss my ex and I'm starting to wish I never broke up with him. I thought I was unhappy with him, but I guess you don't know what you got til' it's gone, right? Rumors are spreading. People are telling my current boyfriend that I'm cheating on him with my ex and people are telling my ex that I was cheating on him when we were dating. My ex feels sore, but he would date me again because he really loves me and said he would be there even if we aren't dating. So how do I go about telling my current boyfriend I want back out with my ex? If you read my older questions, you'll hear more about these two...
I think my current boyfriend would do something stupid if I left him. He has a tough life.

I wish · Jun 9, 2009, 03:49 PM

Originally Posted by Inaru

I think my current boyfriend would do something stupid if I left him. He has a tough life.

You don't like him anymore, so do the right thing and break up with him. Stop leading him on. If he's going to do something crazy, then that's his problem. If you feel that your life is being threatened, then you can get a restraining order against him from the police.

As for your entire situation, this current boyfriend is obviously your rebound. But now you are done with the rebound.
When you break up with him, you don't need to mention that you want to go back with your ex, because you shouldn't be rushing back into a relationship with your ex so quickly. You guys broke up for a reason. If you can't fix those problems, then everything is just going to blow up again. You should stay single until you sort out all this confusion in your mind.