[Andrew916]

Sorry lol. I just got my wisdom teeth out and I'm on vicoden so I'm a little out of it. But what I meant to say is that I'm 17 and if I went out with a thirteen year old I would feel as if I'm using her. But that's just me. Age doesn't matter so much when you're older (let's say college). But at your age- age makes a huge difference. But that's just what I think. The other thing that comes to mind when I hear your situation concerns him. I would like to know why he can't get someone his own age. I'm sure you're a great girl and it's nothing against you- most guys my age aim older not younger- especially not three years younger. My ex was a year older than me. The youngest I'm willing to go right now is a year below me but that will change as I get older- when I go away to college- all college girls will be okay by me but I would not dip into the pool of young high school girls. That's just my opinion and I hope it clarifies my earlier vicoden-influenced post. Once again it's just what I think and I think it's something you should consider when thinking about your relationship.

[talaniman]

Bet your dad and mom are proud of you! They should be!

[Andrew916]

I've often felt that way about older girls. I still remember my best friend's girl friend's best friend was amazing but she was three years older than me and going in to college when I was a sophomore. It sucked that I couldn't go out with her but life rolls on

[Toluca_86]

Hey Andrew,

When you say "most guys" your age "aim older not younger" I think you're projecting a bit, eh? Based on what you yourself like? I think that's something all of us have to be careful of, and for whatever reason it seems to me young men do this even more than the rest... You can't just assume most people like what you like. In fact, when it comes to almost any characteristic a potential partner can have you'll find many, many different preferences out there in the world... probably more than you can imagine right now at your level of experience ;)

I do agree most 17 yr-olds do not date 13 yr-olds, however...

[Andrew916]

Hey Andrew,

When you say "most guys" your age "aim older not younger" I think you're projecting a bit, eh? Based on what you yourself like? I think that's something all of us have to be careful of, and for whatever reason it seems to me young men do this even more than the rest... You can't just assume most people like what you like. In fact, when it comes to almost any characteristic a potential partner can have you'll find many, many different preferences out there in the world... probably more than you can imagine right now at your level of experience ;)

I do agree most 17 yr-olds do not date 13 yr-olds, however...

You're probably right about me projecting but it is what I see as well. Most of my friends date same age or older. In fact almost every guy at myschool dates same age or older so I'm also taking infrom the environment but as I said before- just my opinion...

[Toluca_86]

Well at the high school I went to most guys dated younger -you may be right about what you see at your school though, local cultures can definitely vary a bit... The point I was trying to make was I guess just that it varies a lot in general...

And now I will stop derailing the discussion =)

[Andrew916]

I see what you're saying

[marriaget]

Thanks guys. (:
I'm just having a hard time... because my and this other guy kind of broke up.
So I just really want a nice guy, and this 16/17 yr old is soooo nice and funny.
Like... literally, you don't find those guys here. There are just "ghetto" stupid people here.
Well... let's see! (: I see him on Monday... and I'm going to ask him for him s/n or number... so we can get to know each other better.

[texacolives]

Hmm... I am in a situation like that

I just turned 17 and this girl just turned 14. I'm going to be a senior and she will only be a freshman... I have seen people at my school date that much younger and she is very physically mature and mentally mature. Most of my friends are horndogs and are telling me to "pop her then drop her" and I'm not that kind of guy. I might really like her but the whole age thing is looked down upon by all my friends and family. I understand that in about 5 years it won't matter... but I'm not sure what to do either...

[Andrew916]

hmm...i am in a situation like that

i just turned 17 and this girl just turned 14. im gonna be a senior and she will only be a freshman...i have seen people at my school date that much younger and she is very physically mature and mentally mature. most of my friends are horndogs and are telling me to "pop her then drop her" and im not that kinda guy. i might really like her but the whole age thing is looked down upon by all my friends and family. i understand that in about 5 years it wont matter...but im not sure what to do either...

Look at my previous post- it'll be OK later on but the age difference is generally looked down upon especially when the guy is older. A lot of people will think that you're in it to "pop her and drop her" even if you aren't. So just be wary of that.

[texacolives]

Yea I totally got that. I can very easily get other girls of any age, she just seemed different then all the sluts here in Tucson.

[BigS]

marriaget, don't get with this guy because you are on the rebound. Remember to take the hard right over the easy wrong.
At this point, it doesn't matter what we think, you have somewhere in between made up your mind; you are just waiting for the right posting to encourage and justify why all this is OK.
You didn't have to ask this question, so I admire you for being honest, knowing that on this site you might have been judged in so many ways. I see you have been trying to put some taught into your decision.
No matter what you do, you will know what you have done even if no one else does. You will have to live with that decision; if you are a virgin and decide to give it up, remember that virginity is like a mineral; once it is removed it cannot be replaced. Most of all remember in the end, we don't have to live with you; you have to live with yourself and so you should want to be fit for yourself to know, always able to look yourself straight in the eye and be proud of what you have done. At the end of the day you will know what others will never know, you will see what others can never see and so no matter what you want to have self-respect and be conscience free.

[marriaget]

^^ thanks, but I'm not really on the rebound.
We broke up like 2 months ago, and we kept talking throughout those months.
I just stopped talking to him like 2-3 days ago. I'm not looking for a rebound, I don't like this guy I broke up with. I'm just looking for a nice guy.

Yeah, I get you... I'm not giving up my virginity anytime soon. I admit, I am very curious about it and I have thought about it but like... come on! I wouldn't be about to live with myself knowing I lost it at 12/13! That's just too young.

I always tell other girls/guys not to do it young, so If I did... I'd be a hypocrite.

Anyway, yeah...

[ScottGem]

When you say "most guys" your age "aim older not younger" I think you're projecting a bit, eh? Based on what you yourself like? I think that's something all of us have to be careful of, and for whatever reason it seems to me young men do this even more than the rest... You can't just assume most people like what you like.

But isn't that exactly what you were doing? Just because your sister had a successful relatonship with a similar age gap, you encourage some other girl to go ahead with a similar relationship!

[Kevin_s]

Thanks guys. (:
I'm just having a hard time...cuz my and this other guy kinda broke up.
So i just really want a nice guy, and this 16/17 yr old is soooo nice and funny.
Like...literally, you don't find those guys here. There are just "ghetto" stupid ppl here.
Well.....let's see! (: I see him on monday....and i'm going to ask him for him s/n or number...so we can get to know eachother better.

Define "ghetto" because I crew up in Oakland/Alameda/Hayward California most of my life lol.

[ScottGem]

Comments on this post
Toluca_86 disagrees: If you read all my posts, I never ever "encouraged" her to get with this guy. I "encouraged" her not to write anything off based on an age gap over all other factors... I also "encouraged" her to get to know him as friends, before anything...

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

Second, while its true, you did encourage her to get to know him better, this quote;
"I would ignore all these people trying to scare you, personally. My sister, at 14, started dating a nerdy 17 year-old. They dated for two years and they're still not having sex and I think she holds her own in the relationship pretty will. You never know what could happen." And others do, in fact, encourage her to ignore the age difference.

[marriaget]

Kevin S... actually I don't mean to say ghetto... because people here... are not really ghetto... they try to be. They think they are, but what I'm trying to say is that they're just stupid. Not ghetto or anything just like the people I know are stupid. Seriously, I don't even know what ghetto is. People here are like yo nigga wusz good. Which in my opinion is STUPID.

& ScottGem, I don't think she encouraged me at all. She's just gave me an example telling me that not 100% wrong to date a guy 3ish years older than you.
She didn't say it's 100% okay either.

[joeoconnell2008]

Well I'm 18
And I'm going wit a 16 year old and I think dats even 2 much of a gap.
But if he loves you he will undersand if you break up wit him.

Keep in ouch wit him do.#in da future somehin could happen.

[texacolives]

whatever. I have a nice girlfriend now =)

here is a picture =)

[its attached by the way.]

[marriaget]

ohh pretty =]