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    NorthernNiceGuy's Avatar
    NorthernNiceGuy Posts: 238, Reputation: 75
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    #41

    Jun 2, 2008, 10:11 PM
    Hey Shake,

    Check my post from the other day on the NC calender... I'm 5 weeks in and I went backwards too. There was no contact it just happened all of a sudden. You're going to have bad days... days that feel like the first week, but they will happen less and less. I am feeling better tonight.

    Here's the link to my post. I hope it helps that other people are feeling just like you.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...24229-160.html
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #42

    Jun 3, 2008, 05:37 AM
    I agree with Northern, everyone goes backwards with NC at least once. Don't get discouraged by its expected. Get angry and let that fuel your desire to stick to no contact
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
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    #43

    Jun 3, 2008, 05:51 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Shakedown24
    all of a sudden I am feeling this way again. I thought the process was progressive and that I would only improve with time. Im not sure how to shake this off.

    Is this normal? I think about her alot and miss seeing her. I dont want to continue typing for i feel i will shed some tears.
    Why didn't you just let them flow? It's normal for us to cry when hurting and it does ease things. All the feeling you keep bottled up inside will find a way to escape - -and tears is better than getting drunk and starting a fight with someone who has nothing to do with how you really feel. So get mad, get sad, let those tears flow and relieve the pressure. When there is nobody around who is going to notice and think your are weak? Only you, and you do feel weak, so let it out.


    Good luck, and get back with us. The roller-coaster ride can take a long time, just learn to cope.
    Shakedown24's Avatar
    Shakedown24 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #44

    Jun 3, 2008, 01:33 PM
    Im not sure if its so much me bottling up my feelings. I just know that crying is an escalator, that is, it perpetuates my feelings and makes them stronger. I haven't cried since it happened, but I do still feel hurt. And every time I am feeling the pain, I talk to myself; I try and reason with myself and help myself understand that everything is okay. I am trying very hard to not hate her, I am trying very hard to get warm to the idea that this is the way life works, and that I should be so grateful to have even had this experience. I don't want this to become a negative element in my life, I'd like to reflect on the relationship functionally and admire its ups and understand its downs-- this will help me come to mends with the fact that we were not meant to be.. and that is O.K.


    What bothers me the most is that most of my friends (aside from just one) have been really unsensitive to my situation.

    Question: If your good friend of more than 8 years just broke up with his/her significant other of 4 years, wouldn't you feel compelled to be more sensitive to their social needs and invite them over or offer them company or at least a phone call? I don't feel like I'm being too needy, its just nice to talk and be around your friends during times like these. I don't even want to discuss the relationship, nor do I act all down about it around my friends, so I don't see how I could be such an inconvenience.

    Maybe they aren't really my friends.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #45

    Jun 3, 2008, 03:06 PM
    Did you neglect them during this relationship??
    Shakedown24's Avatar
    Shakedown24 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #46

    Jun 3, 2008, 03:29 PM
    The ones I neglected I'm not expecting anything out of. I did not neglect these.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #47

    Jun 3, 2008, 05:16 PM
    Relax, your real friends will come around sooner or later, no rush, as I know some company, and support of real people is needed, but as in the "stickies", meeting new people is essential also, and no time like now.
    Shakedown24's Avatar
    Shakedown24 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
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    #48

    Jun 4, 2008, 01:07 PM
    I thought I was just going through a rough patch, but all last night and this morning told me that I have hit rock bottom and so I called a therapist to make an appointment. I am for some reason feeling worse than I did on day 1 and can't stop tormenting myself with images and thoughts of her with other men, it is hurting me like no other pain I've ever felt. I have tried for hours and hours and hours but there is nothing I can do, nothing that can distract me enough, so I decided to seek therapy. This is all too much for me.
    Ash123's Avatar
    Ash123 Posts: 1,793, Reputation: 305
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    #49

    Jun 4, 2008, 01:50 PM
    Good. Talk it out.
    NorthernNiceGuy's Avatar
    NorthernNiceGuy Posts: 238, Reputation: 75
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    #50

    Jun 4, 2008, 06:39 PM
    Shake,

    Good call, you are not alone on this one either. Check this post I made...

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ml#post1049477

    I think you will find it helps a lot, and remember there is absolutely nothing wrong with what you're doing!!
    NorthernNiceGuy's Avatar
    NorthernNiceGuy Posts: 238, Reputation: 75
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    #51

    Jun 12, 2008, 11:25 PM
    Shake!

    Been thinking about you buddy!! Let me know how you are holding up??
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