Check out some similar questions!

jolienoire · Nov 8, 2007, 03:48 PM

Hey just to point out sometimes the person who is the dumper wants to call just as bad as the dumpee, but it has more to do with pride, and who is willing to give in first... Only time the dumper doesn't call is usually if they are preoccupied, sometimes, they may be working on a new relastionship this is just my opinion, I know I dumped a guy before and I sooo wanted to call him, but I wouldn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I may have made a mistake..

friend4u178 · Nov 8, 2007, 03:52 PM

Originally Posted by jolienoire

Hey just to point out sometimes the person who is the dumper wants to call just as bad as the dumpee, but it has more to do with pride, and who is willing to give in first... Only time the dumper doesn't call is usually if they are preoccupied, sometimes, they may be working on a new relastionship this is just my opinion, I know I dumped a guy before and I sooo wanted to call him, but I wouldn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that I may have made a mistake..

Good point Jolie

But I must say as a Dumper (yes I have been on both sides of the fence as I suppose most people have) I have never wanted to call but that's just me , in fact whenever they would call or text etc. I found it quite annoying and just made me think I had made the right decision.

jolienoire · Nov 8, 2007, 03:56 PM

That's true but as a women I must add we do care even if we fell out of love with someone, we love so much and hard that we want them to get over us just as bad as they want to get over us... Just speaking from my experience.. especially if I felt the guy was a really great guy I get the urge to see how he is coping... but not because I want him back but because I care...

friend4u178 · Nov 8, 2007, 04:00 PM

Originally Posted by jolienoire

That's true but as a women I must add we do care even if we fell out of love with someone, we love so much and hard that we want them to get over us just as bad as they want to get over us.... Just speaking from my experience.. especially if I felt the guy was a really great guy I get the urge to see how he is coping... but not because I want him back but because I care .....

Yep I understand that and applaud the fact that you still actually care after a breakup. Some don't!!

jolienoire · Nov 8, 2007, 04:01 PM

Oh believe me there were breakups I actually celebrated!! Like my ex husband for an example!! I wouldn't dare to contact him but I have children so I am forced too, otherwise I wouldn't... But I am so happy he is remarrying this weekend!! Going to celebrate his marriage tonight I am just that happy for him!

chris08 · Nov 8, 2007, 04:07 PM

I did everything for my ex, everything for all of her family to be in anger and shock at what she did to me, no-one could believe. She gave me the words "i'll still be here for you." Which in my opinion is absolute bullsh*t. Yes I know that if I ring her she will answer if she is by her phone. But I don't do that. I was a really great boyfriend to her, I just can't understand why she doesn't care for me anymore. Or at least show it. You'd think she'd make the effort to call just to see how I am, after everything I did for her. But maybe she already knows I'm doing fine because I haven't contacted her and she knows I go out with my mates now? That's how I see it.

friend4u178 · Nov 8, 2007, 04:13 PM

Have you guys read this Thread?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ed-123862.html

jolienoire · Nov 8, 2007, 04:13 PM

Your right... You don't need to talk to her, let her be and I hope you are happy!

Homegirl 50 · Nov 8, 2007, 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by chris08

I did everything for my ex, everything for all of her family to be in anger n shock at what she did to me, no-one could believe. She gave me the words "i'll still be here for you." Which in my opinion is absolute bullsh*t. Yes I know that if i ring her she will answer if she is by her phone. But i dont do that. I was a really great boyfriend to her, i just can't understand why she doesnt care for me anymore. Or at least show it. You'd think she'd make the effort to call just to see how i am, after everything i did for her. But maybe she already knows i'm doing fine because i havnt contacted her and she knows i go out with my mates now?! That's how i see it.

If you two are no longer a couple why would she be calling you? You may have been a terrific boy friend, but you were not the right one for her and she is not for you either.
You need to just get over her.

chris08 · Nov 9, 2007, 02:19 AM

I was just replying to friend4u's quote, when he said "applauds for you for still caring etc. when some don't." It's not that my ex feels that I'm not the one for her, she kind of implyed that to me herself, she finished me because she didn't want a relationship anymore and felt too young to settle down, I think she wanted to concentrate on her education more than anything else. There's not much I can do about that is there.

Homegirl 50 · Nov 9, 2007, 05:32 AM

No, she was using her head. She knows what is important to her right now at this time in her life and she is doing it. A lot of people don't do this. They try and juggle too many things and don't focus on anything. I'm sure she may still have feelings for you, but she has to do what is best for her.
It's good that you are working on your life as well.

chris28 · Nov 9, 2007, 11:28 AM

I personally think in my situation it is over . But for more of the reason that she has no clue or idea what's she wants! I feel she things she knows but I no she's not sure..! And I did the right thing in my eyes my contacting her and telling her I would be there for her. I no she wants nothing to do with me from the way she re-acted but I had to learn that myself and as hard at it is to admit it I no it's true. She don't want me but I still know in my heart I did the right thing!! And I will still be there for her... But not be stepped on!!

jolienoire · Nov 9, 2007, 11:31 AM

Well you are far more brave than I am, because I haven't even tried to call my ex or pick up the phone to attempt to dial.. and I know he is coming into town tonight, I have to get out I don't want to run into him.. He has the keys to my house I never even called to ask for my keys back that's how hurt I am...

chris28 · Nov 9, 2007, 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by jolienoire

Well you are far more brave than I am, because I haven't even tried to call my ex or pick up the phone to attempt to dial.. and I know he is coming into town tonight, I have to get out I don't want to run into him.. He has the keys to my house I never even called to ask for my keys back that's how hurt I am...

Im not really brave I just follow my heart or I try to sometimes things overwelm me and when they do I usually have to do what I'm feeling or it will eat me up. I sometimes get burnted taking those chances but other times it makes me feel better even if it wasn't the right thing to do... I no it's very hard but you got to stay strong.

jolienoire · Nov 9, 2007, 01:09 PM

Originally Posted by chris28

Im not really brave I just follow my heart or I try to sometimes things overwelm me and when they do I usally have to do what im feeling or it will eat me up. I sometimes get burnted taking those chances but other times it makes me feel better even if it wasnt the right thing to do.....I no it's very hard but you gotta stay strong.!

I will and you stay strong too! You seem like a very wonderful guy and you will meet the "one". I also noticed in my experience that when I finally got over my ex husband once I started dating again he tried to come back. Funny how he wanted me more that I had someone and was happy he was so jealous.

chris28 · Nov 9, 2007, 01:59 PM

Originally Posted by jolienoire

I will and you stay stong too! you seem like a very wonderful guy and you will meet the "one". I also noticed in my experience that when I finally got over my ex husband once I started dating again he tried to come back. Funny how he wanted me more that I had someone and was happy he was so jealous.

Well human nature we all want what we can't have!!

friend4u178 · Nov 9, 2007, 02:01 PM

Originally Posted by chris28

Well human nature we all want what we can't have!!!!

So true!!

needofhelp · Nov 9, 2007, 02:57 PM

Originally Posted by chris28

Im not really brave I just follow my heart or I try to sometimes things overwelm me and when they do I usally have to do what im feeling or it will eat me up. I sometimes get burnted taking those chances but other times it makes me feel better even if it wasnt the right thing to do.....I no it's very hard but you gotta stay strong.!

chris28, I know how you feel. We are caught between a rock and a hard place, trust your heart or your brain... In times like this, the lines are blurred in what we should do. Sometimes our hearts deceive us. If you are ready to see her and will have no regrets doing so, no matter what the outcome maybe, then go for it and do what your heart tells you... I don't want any of us to take steps backward because progress is hard to do. Keep at it, and we will come out our situations stronger people with more selfrespect.

chris08 · Nov 10, 2007, 04:52 AM

I think my situation has changed for the worst. I just had a mad moment last night and I text my ex telling her exactly how I feel. Not the "i can't stop thinking about you" etc. stuff, but I just let all my feelings out it got quite heated and she kept ringing me, she eventually sent me a text saying "You know what, why don't you get lost and leave me alone!" So I sent a message back saying "I'm sorry but nobody deserves to be treated like this, especially after being dumped over the phone." We were then on the phone for 45mins talking about everything and anything. She practically wanted to know EVERYTHING THAT I WAS DOING, WHERE I GO, WHO I GO OUT WITH, AND WHAT EVERY ONE OF MY MATES HAVE SAID TO ME ABOUT HER DUMPING ME. EVEN MY OWN MOM. I just said well I'm sorry but they have their opinions and I have mine. So she started going on about "they don't even know me, u know what, they can all go to hell." I mean all they've done is given me advice and said what they've thought (I deserve better, I was her safety net etc.) Just like you guys. Now she thinks everybody hates her, I tried telling her they don't but she wouldn't have it. The conversation then cooled and went onto normal stuff, she was telling me how she was getting on at uni, she asked how I'm getting on, I said "Im fine." she said "yeh?" I said "yeah." Before this she was trying to explain to me that going to uni wasn't the reason she finished me, she said she had been unhappy for a week, even though she never told me any of this, I just couldn't believe it. I ended the call and said 'i'm going to go now, bye.' I was meant to say to her... "If me and you are ever meant to be, then it will happen sometime in the future... I'm not saying it will tho." I ended up texting this after the call and left it at that.

I am now back to Day 1, No Contact. Jeez, what have I done. It could have ended worse I guess.

chris28 · Nov 10, 2007, 10:18 AM

Hey Chris,

I like said before and a few times. Most people give it at 1 time or anpother not everyone but a lot of us. When I have the urge to call or text I take advice from everyone listen top everyone but in the end I still do what I want depending how bad the feeling is. Maybee you just got it out of your system and you will feel better now. The truth is but that we all deal with pain differently and no one answer that works for you will work for me or anyone else at that matter. So Bottom line is in the end its about you and sometimes you have to make mistakes to learn there mistakes sometimes taking advice from someone who has already went through it is not enough.

And of course here another reason why I don't listen I have been telling myself this can't be happining to me she's definitely going to come back to me I no it. LOL u no what its not true this did happen to me and I'm going through it as we speak it happens to everybody. There's nothing wrong with it its normal in the dating world and that makes me get through it easier :) I hope this helps and it makes sense .

I can't wait to find someone new that new feeling , can't wait to see her everyday. That's what I'm looking forward to. Not worrying who my ex is kissing or sleeping with , she's gone I'm here and I'm ready to move on :)

Hope I can take my own advice lol