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jolienoire · Nov 9, 2007, 09:50 AM

Stop reading too much into it, I miss people that I don't want to be with especially if I had a relationship with them, I think about people, that doesn't mean I want to be with them, I think about my ex-husband sometimes miss him.. DO I want him back NO! Don't read into it too much, she may still love you but is not IN LOVE WITH YOU, that is a difference.. Move on... Change your number, don't call her for any reason, don't make an excuse to contact her. Let her be happy. She is saying she can't leave this guy... she won't leave him don't wait around, your going to hurt yourself more. Stop... The chase is always better than the catch! And besides what if she did leave this guy to go back to you again then now you will be a rebound!

ryaninvegas · Nov 9, 2007, 10:43 AM

I'm seriously going crazy. I can't stop. She's never coming back is she? I've done too much damage? I didn't realize what I had and I pushed it away. She's happy everyday f ing someone else and I wake up to nightmares everyday. Yellng and sobbering all the time

jolienoire · Nov 9, 2007, 11:01 AM

Listen, please hun relax you will be all right as time passes but because you keep contacting her you keep opening up feelings and hurting yourself.. Just keep busy, I am not saying that she may never come back I am going by what she is telling you for now.. In the meantime you need to live your life. Okay so you made a mistake.. We are all guilty of making mistakes, in fact it is the learning process... Stop beating yourself up for it. Where are your friends? Where is your support? You need to change your atmosphere and do something productive and interact with people, so that you can be happy.. Don't contact her anymore because you can diminesh any feelings she has left for you. SO please I tell you stay strong and stop going crazy, Breath, take care of yourself, Troubles don't last all ways!!

ryaninvegas · Nov 9, 2007, 01:09 PM

Okay so I told her a few weeks back that I was happy, she was happy, and I was doing well because I went on a few dates. She cried and sent me an email. Did I push her even further? Is there anything I can say to retract that or convince her that I am SO COMMITTED to her..!

jolienoire · Nov 9, 2007, 01:12 PM

No I think you are going to push her away if you keep trying to convince her that you are the one for her, she still needs to decide that without you insisting you are the one! Date! I am telling you do not wait for her... Or don't date but just do something productive either way... Don't tell her about you dating either if she happens to hear it and contact you there is nothing to talk about. She is going to keep stringing you along making you feel worst.. Right now you don't see the good in this situation but everything happens for a reason..

ryaninvegas · Nov 9, 2007, 01:27 PM

Last week, her mom wrote me an email:
So sorry you are hurt. But you need to stop with [my ex] you are freaking her out and pushing her away I don't know if she will ever come back to you but your actions lately are not helping. Maybe she needs space for now I don't know. Take care.

Couplle days later my ex wrote: "I know you just had surgery and I hope everything went well. I hope you have a speedy recovery."

OKAY OKAY IM GIVING SPACE... TIME / NC

It sucks feeling so compelled to fix things.
Fr instance, I could give justification: I broke up because I needed my independence before we jumped into long term. I would never make the mistake of being apart from you again. But it was a necessary step in creating us, for the long road...

jolienoire · Nov 9, 2007, 01:32 PM

No justification.. listen I am trying to help you before you become a mental mess over this woman, I am giving you my honest opinion, but you seem insisting on making excuses to talk to her there is no justification. Do you know if you keep harassing her your going to mess up any chances of ever getting back with her. So Relax, and don't blame her if you are willing to wait for her, That is your decision, You have control over your own happiness not her or anyone else..

ryaninvegas · Nov 9, 2007, 01:39 PM

I know your right. But its hell dealing with such a disastrous mistake... I appreciate your understanding so much more than you know
Was her mom hinting at me?
You can see how robotic my ex's get well soon was...

jolienoire · Nov 9, 2007, 01:45 PM

Well... You have to start healing and you can't if you keep contacting her, Listen if mom begans to dislike you then your chances are really going to be harder.. Just let her go. In time, you will find the right person for you. It gets better. I see her get well message it was nothing special about it, she didn't do any long talking... I really suggest you leave her alone... Hang out with some friends.. do something.

ryaninvegas · Nov 9, 2007, 04:19 PM

Should I occasionally say hello to her. Very simple... nothing more. Just to look like I'm still a friend?

ryaninvegas · Nov 9, 2007, 09:57 PM

I wonder if this has a special exception... for NC
Her birthday is on the 15th. (11/15)
>>> REMEMBER: I broke up with her... she is seeing someone else. She said she loved me and would come back but is involved <<< but I would be BREACHING NC
She hasn't reached out in 7 days. And I initiate pretty much all corresponence...
Is there special consideration for my circumstance??
Should I:
Send nothing /do nothing
Send a card with my name
Send a card containing a dvd I made 2 months ago (its a slideshow of our pictures and her favorite "our" song) . Could tickle an emotion...
Text her / phone / other?