[stonewilder]

I have two questions, if you trust him then why would you go through his emails? And if he had something he wanted to hide from you, why would he let you have his password? Is he just stupid? (Ok three questions.)

[flower81]

Well OK I confronted him about it.. this is how it went.

I said oh by the way you should join Facebook, its cool, I have come across some of our old friends from Spain.. I then added - its much better then friendorama as that's an online dating site...

He smiled.
I said why the hell did you go register there? What were you looking for? And by the way nice pic?
It was easy for me to find you..
Why did you register?

He said that he was on Hi5, and it appeared as a link and he clicked on it.
No bad intentions he said.

I said - it's a online dating site for crying out loud.

Facebook and Hi5 are different.

I said have you chatted or flirted wi any women around the world..

He said NO but with a laugh

I immediately called him a liar.

Then he said YES.

He followed by saying - listen I didn't do it with any bad intentions... u knew my password to my hotmail account so I have nothing to hide.
He said I can delete his registeration to friendorama for all I care...

All of this said between us wasn't in an argument.

What do you all think?

[rol]

I think ye are not ready for any kind of serious raltionship , let alone be engaged!

I think he has no respect and tries to play games to get some kind of kick out of you.
He would need to grow up a lot.

[flower81]

Why? Not ready for a serious relationship?

[rol]

Just go back and read your whole thread again and you might understand why...

[Krs]

Well I think the fact that he said he gave u his password so he has nothing to hide, means something... something good!

[talaniman]

Why? not ready for a serious relationship??

Deceit, trickery, insecurity above honest communications, is not the way to build trust, or work together to solve your problems, in a way that both partners benefit. He flipped the script on you and for now your satisfied, but it won't last long because you will go back, and still be suspicious as you were before you went through his emails. You still have a lot of talking to do, and he should know that you know about the online flirting, even if he isn't going any further. Keep talking without pushing.

[flower81]

What do you mean - he flipped the script on me?
I don't understand sorry :(

And talk about what?
I don't want to keep bringing it up

[stonewilder]

If I were him I would be mad and hurt that you didn't trust me even though I gave you my email pass word. What you did was wrong and how you handled it was wrong too. I bet you're not completely innocent of flirting over the net yourself. Jealously won't make for a good marriage and one too many accusations might bring him exactly where you don't want him. Men are visual creatures and they may even be a little flirtaious, but that doesn't mean they are cheating or have any desire to be with anyone other than the one he's with. You should pick your fights wisely.

[flower81]

Don't understand why you are all ganging up on me

[talaniman]

Relax Flower, no one ganging up on you at all. Just want you to see this from a few different views, so you will have something to think about. I think you would be well served to express your feelings sooner rather than later, and be honest about how his actions make you feel, since the whole issue revolves around you both knowing how the other feels, and working together to resolve the issues in a manner that you both can live with. You have his password you can see whatever he does, you don't have to sneak and feel bad about it. You can question anything you see, and go from there. Its not personal, just giving you food for thought, to improve the communication level, and eliminate assumptions and fears.