[one_life]

Thanks chery, sorry for my reaction. You've given me sound advise.

[Chery]

That's OK. I sometimes don't express myself they way you are used to, but I do mean well and NEVER put anyone down, or judge them. I try to give people different points of view to look at to help find 'themselves' as I have myself had extensive therapy and studied psychology after that so that I could help others as I have been helped. Good Luck to you. So, you cold say I'm a 'Jackie of all trades' sort of. :D

[one_life]

When I just thought she was warming up to me. I don't think she wants to get back with me. It is just this vibe all of a sudden I get from her.

Besides she seems more interested in this other guy at work.

Why would she act like she was interested in me in the last few weeks and then nothing?

I feel like right now. I know when to just give up hoping. I knew it was too good to be true.
What do you guys think? I need a women's perspective. Could I be wrong about my vibes?


PS. If you guys are wondering, I played it easy and cool. I teased her and just talked as friends. She seemed to like it. I never relived my feelings to her.

[Chery]

She just might have been waiting for you to reveal your feelings, or kept you on the sideline just in case she did not 'land' with the other guy, Anything is possible with relationships. You'll find the right one for you some day, until then, try and treat all with respect and don't put us all in one barrel. Good Luck and look ahead. We all gain something even from negative experiences, just don't let it make you bitter. Keep us posted.

[letmeno]

Chery could be right. Women do seek out attention from other men "when all else fails".

I can't say for sure that this could be the case but sometimes men do get mixed signals from women. In a few cases, I have casually talked or joked with a male co-worker or friend and some how or another they took it as "she want's me." Just be easy, don't be bitter, some of us do "get away" but when that happens, just throw the line out there and get back at it.

Hope this helps

[one_life]

I know what you're saying letmeno and chery. I swear I was getting the vibe that she was some how interested in me again. It was a gut feeling. But now I don't get that anymore.

I know for sure this other guy for sure is interested in her. And maybe she is in him.The funny thing is that I remember biggining of last week she was saying how nice and friendly this guy was (it was like she was trying to get me jealous and maybe make my move). And still after that she still showed that she was interested in me(the whole of last week). Some how I've been getting nothing from her these few last days.

[Wildcat21]

Don't share your feelings! Be busy. Cut the contact down a lot.

"if you guys are wondering, I played it easy and cool. I teased her and just talked as freinds. She seemed to like it. " - keep that up. NO Pressure ON HER, br the fun guy.

Don't worry about other guys. Woman WILL test you ane see if you're jealous. My gal early on started talking about other guys - I just said I have two other gals I am deciding on as well - that shut her up. And then I said I don't care about any other guy you're interested in - don't tell me that stuff again.

It's all tests - if you learn about woman's tests you're way ahead of the game.

WHY are you talking with her every day at thispoint?? WHY?? WHY??

I think you've put too much importance in this one gal. Not good for business. See, when you put a woman ahead of yourself you create heartache. There are other things in life - work, school, workouts, friends, family, hobbies - all are equal importance. She is part of your life. Not your life.

[Chery]

Boy Wildcat, you must have been hurt real bad by some woman in your past! Where do you meet your women,and how can you live with yourself being such a negative individual? There is a lot you need to work out yet and I'm not sure that even you know where to start.

Jealousy is a green monster that eats you up inside. Those that try to make others jealous are insecure themselves. Why encourage other impressionable men to be so negative about life, just because you have a problem to solve within?

Life puts you through enough tests as it is so there is no need to 'test' each other further or be bitter over a few mistakes for the rest of your life. The only thing you know about women is the experience you've had with them and your reactions. Just as we all - for every action there is a reaction, positive or negative. But if we don't learn from it and go on then bitterness takes over and riuns things for you and those you have relationships with.

With all the things that have happened to me in my life, before I was even born, I should be a vindicative, man-hating witch with a capital 'B'. But I also see the good in people and the hopes and fears they have, and come to realize that it does no good at all to be bitter and let things eat me up inside. I've learned a lot in my life and know how rough it can be, but I try to help others overcome their bitterness and hatred. We can't change others, only ourselves, and pass on what we learned in hopes they don't suffer as we did. That's the only thing we can do, is to present alternatives and encouragement.
Lately however, all your alternatives have been so negative that it would be painful to physically be around you. 'Heartache' is part of life no matter what age, just as happiness is, otherwise we would not be able to tell the difference and grow.

No person is 100% perfect, be they male or female and influence has a lot to do with gaining the confidence we all need to go on. Otherwise we could all jump off a cliff every time something does not go exactly as we expect it to. Or take our ball out of the court and go home.. Kids do that, not adults.
One life is talking with her ever day at this point because he works in the same workplace, and is still optimistic about life. We really don't have any right to take that away from him. And, unfortunately no body is ever ahead of the game, as you put it because every one is different and some don't look at this as a 'game' - thank goodness.
Plus, a relationship is not a business or a deal up for negotiation. If it were, then there would be less emotion, and more houses of ill-repute (for both sexes) and less children except those that are produced out of rape, and raised by single parents who teach bitterness, not love for one another. Ergo, there would be no need for 'friends' or family either.
Yes, there are other things in life, but in my opinion there is nothing better than being held in warmth, the knowledge that someone cares and will be there for me, and being able to comfort him when needed. It is no fun at all being lonely, despite hobbies, workouts, etc. It is sharing and caring that's important to me and most others. That is what makes us human.
Animals take care of 'business' to procreate and fight to be the 'leader of the pack' without emotions, where the females chose them for their partners, but it's in their nature, not our's. OK, now I'm off the soapbox, it's someone else's turn.

[Wildcat21]

Sorry hun. Not bitter at all. I just know what women want. Most guys don't know how to behave around women. I don't teach mean.

Women Don't want a soft, sentive, clingy/needy, nice, agreeable guy - ever. You want guys with a spine, who has their own life. A guy who calls them 5 times a day to check up on them.

And WOMEN TEST MEN UNTIL THE DAY THE DIE. Always and forever.

He needs to learn how to deal with woman - heartache is avoidable.

Your post pretty much proved my point.

The caring part comes later. He needs to PROVE he is a man and can live with her or without her. This guy needs to change. He doesn't have her and he is KILLING all her attraction in him. She is most likely just as bummed out about as him.

It's funny because I get a lot of this - women telling me I am wrong and then the guy the go for is acts the right way. I am sure you want some guy who is a lap dog that you can walk all over? Go for the soft sensitive guy who puts you on a pedestal and tell me how that works for you and your feelings? Ok?

He has to show has a spine and can stand up to her.


My gal loves me because I don't put up with her crap (all women do tests), tease her, treat her well, never mean, bust on her, I am passionate about her, we long conversations, arguments, get alone great.

[Chery]

Good for you WC if you are happy. I don't want a lap dog, got a cat for that, his picture is in my profie. But I don't want a whuss(sp) or 'caveman' either. I have one that's in between and am quite comfortable with him despite his chauvy attitude sometimes. I've gone from wife-beaters to crybabies and I know what I want now, but did not before - it's all a learning process . I'm certain each 'pot' finds his/her 'lid' eventually.