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hjpan · Jun 12, 2008, 12:17 PM

Originally Posted by f104

Great post and great comments by all.

I am on day 3 of NC and I am absolutely miserable. I want to call her or e-mail but I know she will not respond. She told me Sunday night that she still loves me but needs to work on her own stuff. I said I was about to undertake the NC rule. She did not want that and said she still wanted communicate with me. So I suggested we meet for lunch on Tuesday and sent her an e-mail thanking her for the time we had together. Now I am on the third day of NC. I wish she would contact me. Of course I know she will not. She dumped me on June 8th.

Several times a day I look at my phones and e-mail hoping she will have attempted to contact me but she never has. I saw her car around town the other day and that was so hard. I miss her so much and am so sad. I know we all go through this but the pain is so intense. I just want it to stop. THANK GOD FOR YOU PEOPLE AND THIS SITE because I really hate my life at the moment. It hurts so much.

I wish all of us here all the best and hope we will finally meet the people we really deserve, Craig.

It's hard bro.
I had the urge to call my ex, but I persisted. Instead, I sat my butt for straight 20hr study for my psychology exam and guess what? I got a 'B-' over all grade as opposed to my 'D'. Not to mention, my ex broke the NC & contacted me; the funny part is she said she does not love me anymore and wants me to stop calling her or talk to her.

starlite1 · Jun 12, 2008, 12:22 PM

Originally Posted by hjpan

It's hard bro.
I had the urge to call my ex, but I persisted. Instead, I sat my butt for straight 20hr study for my psychology exam and guess what? I got a 'B-' over all grade as opposed to my 'D'. Not to mention, my ex broke the NC & contacted me; the funny part is she said she does not love me anymore and wants me to stop calling her or talk to her.

Hi HJpan,

Congratulations on your test score that is great!! You didn't call her, and she called you and said that? That is so not right of her!

f104 · Jun 12, 2008, 12:40 PM

Originally Posted by hjpan

It's hard bro.
I had the urge to call my ex, but I persisted. Instead, I sat my butt for straight 20hr study for my psychology exam and guess what? I got a 'B-' over all grade as opposed to my 'D'. Not to mention, my ex broke the NC & contacted me; the funny part is she said she does not love me anymore and wants me to stop calling her or talk to her.

Ah yes I have a history paper to hand in. Wonder why your ex bothered to contact you to say that. Seems mean of her.

starlite1 · Jun 12, 2008, 12:41 PM

Originally Posted by f104

Ah yes I have a history paper to hand in. Wonder why your ex bothered to contact you to say that. Seems mean of her.

Oh Yes... extremely mean!

NorthernNiceGuy · Jun 12, 2008, 01:16 PM

Just them being selfish, it really does make them feel better to talk to us, and they really don't seem to realize the effect it might have on us... Don't give her the satisfaction hj. She wanted this break up so give it to her full force. You are no longer hers to be there for her any longer. There is only one person who matters now, YOU!

f104 · Jun 12, 2008, 01:23 PM

Star and Northern I agree totally. I want to be able to get to that stage too. No friends or that jazz. She wants it(break up I mean) then she can have it. I know she will be expecting me to talk to her and be all buddy next quarter. She will be so surprised when I say 'sorry I am busy can't talk now'.

Of course she still has a key to my apartment. I hope she just throws it away as I am not about to ask for it back.

jrebel7 · Jun 12, 2008, 02:16 PM

I am no expert in this area but as far as the key goes, I would just drop in on her where she works or hangs out or whatever, be polite, say hello and not loudly but just say "Since we are no longer seeing each other, I dropped by to get my key." Hopefully, she won't say, "I don't have it with me right now" but will be surprised enough to get her purse and get the key. You don't want the key floating around some where... unless you just choose to change the locks, which would eliminate your need to get the key from her.

jolienoire · Jun 12, 2008, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by f104

Of course she still has a key to my apartment. I hope she just throws it away as I am not about to ask for it back.

CHANGE THE LOCKS EASY You don't need any reason to call her...

jolienoire · Jun 12, 2008, 02:23 PM

Going to her job or calling her about a key would just make you seem immature and bitter trust me as a woman... You will be the laughing stalk. She will call up all her girlfriends and say "could you believe he wanted his keys, he just want a reason to call" etc.. etc.. Lol sorry but just don't do it..

f104 · Jun 12, 2008, 02:30 PM

Originally Posted by jolienoire

Going to her job or calling her about a key would just make you seem immature and bitter trust me as a woman... You will be the laughing stalk. She will call up all her girlfriends and say "could you believe he wanted his keys, he just want a reason to call" etc.. etc.. lol sorry but just don't do it..

True enough. Thanks. I guess the locks will be changed. Your right too, all I am looking for is a reason to break NC. Yet if I broke NC I would feel terrible about myself.

jolienoire · Jun 12, 2008, 02:32 PM

Originally Posted by f104

True enough. Thanks. I guess the locks will be changed. Your right too, all I am looking for is a reason to break NC. Yet if I broke NC I would feel terrible about myself.

I knew you were looking for a reason... We all do some men go as far as taking everything they ever brought you back.

chuff · Jun 12, 2008, 03:29 PM

Originally Posted by f104

True enough. Thanks. I guess the locks will be changed. Your right too, all I am looking for is a reason to break NC. Yet if I broke NC I would feel terrible about myself.

When your highly emotional you justify to yourself that if you contact her, she'll see the error of her ways or she will miss you so much that she is waiting for you to call her. It works in movies and on TV but in real life it always makes things worse. For one, you are emotional and women have you cornered on emotions and two it comes off as desperate, no matter how cool you think you are acting at the time. Then after it's all over, you will realize the mistake you made, and feel terrible and she looks great.

bigbird213 · Jun 12, 2008, 04:43 PM

F104,

Do you really think that her having the key is a big enough problem to need to change the locks? I mean, I have a key to my ex's house on my key ring still, but I would never think of going into her house. Matter of fact, I know the garage door code too, I'm sure they didn't change it and she won't ask me too.

Is there really a risk?

jrebel7 · Jun 12, 2008, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by bigbird213

F104,

Do you really think that her having the key is a big enough problem to need to change the locks? I mean, I have a key to my ex's house on my key ring still, but I would never think of going into her house. Matter of fact, I know the garage door code too, im sure they didn't change it and she won't ask me too.

Is there really a risk??

I bow out gracefully from this thread! I really missed the mark. I am coming from the perspective of someone who had their house set on fire, car burned, etc. I apologize. I was really off the mark of normal response. I do apologize to all on this thread. I generally feel I have perspective but on this I did not.

gg23 · Jun 12, 2008, 05:13 PM

I agree with most guys here! Don't bother ask her for the key to your place. She broke up and she has the upper end initially and we are the ones dying now. In the long run, she will realize her loss, but it won't even matter at that point... stick to NC... we will all heal.. the annoying things when!! I have to say thanks to all you wonderful peeps here... even though I don't write much on here, I have been reading all your posts... and it helps to know that we are all in this together... you guys rock... ok I'm wiped out, just finished playing soccer for the past 2 hrs after an hr of workout earlier... not time to think about her...

f104 · Jun 12, 2008, 07:02 PM

Thank you all so much. I will not do anything. Much better to bring my emotional ideas here. Thanks so much to you all.

f104 · Jun 12, 2008, 07:26 PM

Mods This Thread Should Become A Sticky!

bigbird213 · Jun 12, 2008, 08:40 PM

Originally Posted by jrebel7

I bow out gracefully from this thread! I really missed the mark. I am coming from the perspective of someone who had their house set on fire, car burned, etc. I apologize. I was really off the mark of normal response. I do apologize to all on this thread. I generally feel I have perspective but on this I did not.

In your case... yes change the locks :p

Sorry if I was generalizing, just trying to give a different perspective.

I know how easy it is to make problems seem MUCH larger then they really are...

NorthernNiceGuy · Jun 12, 2008, 09:26 PM

YeaF104,

I got my ex's key, and I know her home security code. She's also got my garage door code. I'd say 99% of the time you don't have to worry about stuff like that. I wouldn't blow it out of proportion. Don't sweat the small stuff, little things are going to seem like a bigger deal when you are feeling like this.

I agree with the sticky, it's the first one I look for when I sign in.

Hope everybody is feeling good!

NorthernNiceGuy · Jun 12, 2008, 11:08 PM

I was watching Fraiser as I was falling asleep tonight and he dropped this quote from Sigmund Freud... Caught my ears right away! It just proves that the way all of us are feeling is normal. Kind of cheesy again but what can I say, these things make me feel better, and hopefully they can for someone else.

"We are never so helplessly unhappy as when we lose love." -SIGMUND FREUD