[bigbird213]

Next week is our official 4 year anniversary... Gonna be interesting I am sure!!!!

Just went through that, now I have her birthday to deal with on Monday. Not really as a big a deal as I was expecting - I made it worse in my head. It's just another day... really.

[starlite1]

Just went through that, now I have her birthday to deal with on monday. Not really as a big a deal as I was expecting - I made it worse in my head. It's just another day...really.

Hi BigBird,

I think you are doing great! Even though it is her Birthday, you will get through it, without a doubt. :)

[chuff]

Just went through that, now I have her birthday to deal with on monday.

And immediately I thought of the positves. No wasting your money on birthday gift or night out. Winner... You.

[starlite1]

Guys I'm feeling horribly depressed right now...

I'm am studying for the CPA exam and while it's keeping my mind off things, i have to take a break in between things or i'd go nuts, and then i sit there and have nothing really to do.. and i can't stop thinking about him and feeling the lonelyness..

What scares me so bad is this up coming weekend.. it's gonna be the first real weekend without each other, and I always hung out with him.. and im going to have nothing to do.. most of my friends have boyfriends, and they spend time with them on the weekends.. just having that deep lonelyness is so HARD!!!! Im so scared and sad and depressed...

We have been keeping minimal contact, because I'm going to Al-anon meetings for my co-dependancy and i called him yesterday to tell him how it's been going, and i think that was a mistake, because it just drudges up old feelings.. by the time we hung up we decided not to do anymore contact.. he told me to call him when im ready to see him again (not sure if that's gonna happen) and so today i was doing pretty well, and then he called me right when i got off work to ask me a question about something (he needed it for work) and then all the feelings came back again

but as I'm writing this now, im feeling a little better.. it's so hard breaking up with someone, you all must know that.. i feel so much guilt and desperation, and pain just like you that have been dumped.. it's awful!!!

ok venting is over

Hi Plonak,

Oh honey, I know what you mean. It is hard breaking up with someone. But if I may suggest, for the weekend, go do something for YOU. How about a manicure, a pedicure, a message (spa treatment). You so deserve to be pampered, and you will feel great afterwards. I was so upset this past weekend for the same reasons, and I went and had my hair lightened (Well... also because the roots were horendous - LOL!) But, after it was done, it made me feel better. I did something for me. I don't have many friends anymore either, since they are married and moved out of state. But you know what? I have all of you, my new friends, and just knowing that I can come here and you all are here, it really makes me feel better. And we are your friends :) and you can come here anytime, and here we are :)

[damaged]

Follow your own advice BB...

When she broke up with you, she was making the decision to move forward in life without you. That means no calls to make her feel better, no more presents, no more dates, and no more birthday cards. Thats what she wanted, so give her what she wants.

[damaged]

Plonak, listen to Star...
Do something for YOU.. There's nothing wrong with doing things by yourself.. I, myself do stuff alone all the time... My friends also have BFs so they don't have time for me(not very good friends right?)... I go to the beach, movies, gym,( by myself).. sometimes it gets me so depressed but w.e.. I just shake it off and enjoy my company!.

[starlite1]

Plonak, listen to Star...
Do something for YOU..There's nothing wrong with doing things by yourself..I, myself do stuff alone all the time...My friends also have BFs so they dont have time for me(not very good friends right?)...I go to the beach, movies, gym,( by myself)..sometimes it gets me soo depressed but w.e..i just shake it off and enjoy my company!!..

How are you today, my friend?

[Romefalls19]

Guys and girls, it's great to see all of you doing so well... I am very proud to read all of your guys posts! Everyone is coming a long way, keep your heads up. Everything gets easier and you will get to the point where you wake up and your ex is an after thought.

[f104]

Great post and great comments by all.

I am on day 3 of NC and I am absolutely miserable. I want to call her or e-mail but I know she will not respond. She told me Sunday night that she still loves me but needs to work on her own stuff. I said I was about to undertake the NC rule. She did not want that and said she still wanted communicate with me. So I suggested we meet for lunch on Tuesday and sent her an e-mail thanking her for the time we had together. Now I am on the third day of NC. I wish she would contact me. Of course I know she will not. She dumped me on June 8th.

Several times a day I look at my phones and e-mail hoping she will have attempted to contact me but she never has. I saw her car around town the other day and that was so hard. I miss her so much and am so sad. I know we all go through this but the pain is so intense. I just want it to stop. THANK GOD FOR YOU PEOPLE AND THIS SITE because I really hate my life at the moment. It hurts so much.

I wish all of us here all the best and hope we will finally meet the people we really deserve, Craig.

[damaged]

Hey Star..
Im good.. How are you?.

[starlite1]

I'm trying, girl LOL! It's real hard at times as you know. He called the other night (after I text him earlier that day). The conversation was nice, we didn't talk about 'us', but he still wants to go to the concert, so I am really thinking hard about getting my plane tix. I really have to play this cautiously, I mean, I really want us to talk about things, and I really do want to be with him like we were planning before all of this happened, but, I need to know that he will be there for me through thick and thin so to speak, as I will be there (and always was) for him. I don't want the fantasy, I want the reality.. I want to beautiful life and love, but I do know that there are ups and downs in life and relationships, and I want him to realize that when these things happen, you don't run away, you work on it... We shall see, sweetie, we shall see... I want to jump into his arms believe me, and it's going to take every bit of strength for me not to, and not to start crying, the minute I see him...

[starlite1]

But, as a side note? I can't wait until we (you, me, and everyone else) gets together!! I really want this to happen so badly!! And I am going to give you all a great big hug!!

[damaged]

F104..
I remember about a month ago I was saying the same thing: "I hate my life" (I swear).. I would check my phone every 5 seconds... I wanted him to call, text.. but he never did... I don't even look at my phone n/e more... I'm not good good but I'm better.. I don't feel so depressed all the time... I would suggest not seeing her on Tuesday.. Hang tough and with time things get better.. I thought it was impossible to feel better, but you do get to the point where it hurts less... Stick to NC!

[damaged]

Well if you feel like going to the concert go then... But I would say take things slow... Take it like a first date... Have fun, dance, laugh.. w.e... but don't expect much... Don't be too emotional either, you wouldn't start hugging him and crying on a first date right.. lol... Just have fun, and we'll see what happens after :)... Hope for the best,prepare for the worse


And I can't wait too meet you all either.. I'm so excited... I'm going to cry!. I'm very sentimental... trust me! :D

[f104]

damaged thanks! It's funny is it not how painful this stuff is. Give me physical pain any day of the week.

We did not meet for lunch on Tuesday. But that was her decision not mine. How can a person say "I love you, I love you" and then the next day just end a relationship.

[damaged]

I know.. how can they?. but I think its because they may love us, but not be in love, so they just don't feel like being with us any more... It hurts though.. pretty freaking bad!

[jolienoire]

How can a person say "I love you, I love you" and then the next day just end a relationship.

Easy because love has no guarantees, or warranties.. For example I know you can name a few people in your life in which you love but can't stand to be around them. You can love from a distance, We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. We say we love money yet we spend it, We say I love you, yet we leave. We say I love life, yet we take it for granted. Loving something doesn't mean we will have it forever, but it will always be in our hearts. Remember you never loose by loving you loose when you hold back.

[starlite1]

Well if you feel like going to the concert go then...But i would say take things slow...Take it like a first date...Have fun, dance, laugh..w.e...but don't expect much...Don't be too emotional either, you wouldn't start hugging him and crying on a first date right..lol...Just have fun, and we'll see what happens after :) ...Hope for the best,prepare for the worse


and i can't wait too meet you all either..I'm soo excited....I'm gonna cry!!..i'm very sentimental...trust me!! :D

Thank you sweetie! You are such a wonderful friend, and I cannot thank you enough. I am sentimental too. I too will cry tears of joy! I can't wait to see all of you!! :D

[starlite1]

damaged thanks! It's funny is it not how painful this stuff is. Give me physical pain any day of the week.

We did not meet for lunch on Tuesday. But that was her decision not mine. How can a person say "I love you, I love you" and then the next day just end a relationship.

Hi F104,

I just read your initial post from the 'dating' area. Is this the younger woman, or the woman that you were engaged to? Either way, I know how painful breakups are, and I agree with you, I would rather physical pain that emotional/heartache pain any day. The best thing for you to do, is keep up with the NC and keep busy. I know sometimes it is hard to be motivated, but, you must, for your own self. By her saying 'I love you', I'm sure she does, but she doesn't know what she wants it seems. She needs to figure out what she wants, and take this time for yourself to really figure out what you really want in a relationship. What is your key important points that you look for in a woman for you.

[f104]

Easy because love has no gurantees, or warranties.. For example I know you can name a few ppl in your life in which you love but can't stand to be around them. You can love from a distance,, We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. We say we love money yet we spend it, We say I love you, yet we leave. We say I love life, yet we take it for granted. Loving something doesn't mean we will have it forever, but it will always be in our hearts. Remember you never loose by loving you loose when you hold back.

Good points. It sure is a funny old world. Am trying now not to get involved in a rebound relationship.