[rockie100]

Take a challenge from me. Ok, here it goes... You can, for five days, only post about the things you listed above. Ie; music, sports, design, poetry writing. Tell me if this is a deal. I know what your going through. Im not disrespecting you at all... Just want you to take the challenge. What you think?

[emopunk7]

You are on Rockie! I'm always up for a challenge! Starting now till Thursday!

[rockie100]

I will be happy to read all your great advice! Thanks for taking my challenge... Im with you all the way.
Rockie:)

[emopunk7]

Walking and walking through the darkest tunnel
Not a ray of sun can pinch its way through
An earthquake occurs when things couldn't get worse
Suddenly the tunnel cracks, the sun shines on you!

Paddling in the ocean, left abandoned and alone
Nothing to count on, you just may die of thirst
A rainstorm occurs when things couldn't get worse
Suddenly you can drink, someone put you first!

So when things look terrible and you seem lost
Wondering if you can ever make it or even cope
When life tears you down and you feel much pain
Remember in any situation, there is always HOPE!

[Cat1864]

Emo, I know it isn't easy.

I look forward to seeing how this challenge goes. Good luck. :)

[bswc]

Wow Cat...No Contact is hard enough and now you think I should be able to control my thoughts. That will be VERY difficult. Especially since I'm a very loving person so it's hard to let go what I once gave my all to. I'm a romantic all the way. I believe in fighting till the end for what you want. This time it is sooo hard for me because I am going against my heart. I am not doing the "romantic" thing and I am also feeling like it's my fault for doing what she did back to her instead of dumping her or just ignoring it altogether. I'm dealing with that part the most. I know nobody is God to tell me that I made the right choice, or if it was bound to happen anyway in the near future, or if I would have ignored it, she would have continued anyway and to more extremes. I tell myself I could have spoken to her for the fourth time but then what? Tell her again the twentieth time as well? Two times was enough I think. But since we broke up, I feel like I should have gone to the twentieth time. I have trouble with my rationalization. Not knowing if I did the right thing or if breaking up was bound to happen, kills me. I am a great thinker. I should use my mind for better things. I am great at nearly all sports especially basketball, football, baseball and swimming. I love to design rooms. I love writing poetry. If anybody is interested just send me a PM...I can do it off the top of my head within minutes or professionally with great thought. I also play drums for my band. I guess I have a lot of things I can do instead of thinking about girls all the time. I guess I am trying to make my mind not torture me anymore because it keeps telling me this is all my fault. I am trying to make excuses but deep down I keep blaming myself for ruining it.

Hey emopunk, you fight to the last and u're romantic all the way but wrong focus this time. Uh uh, it's the "someone" in the future yet to come that, will be your target and also her target. Right now its time for all the music, sports, academic, job, self improvement that comes in handy in the future. Someone out there might be doing the same and we you get together, both of you will benefit from what u've done. I'm not giving you false hopes or telling you your next girlfriend is going to go perfect, right?

[emopunk7]

I am still a bit down... last night I was going through my phone and saw pics of her but felt okay and then went to bed after deleting them. Kind of shocked me because I thought they were all gone. I did think about it today though... Well I don't want to ask any questions because I am in challenge mode. Plus there will be no answers anyway. I don't know what else to write then... hmm...
I really want to paint my room. I thought I had the paint but I didn't. I have to buy it now. I started feeling guilty again today because I was thinking like what if someone told me they will pick me up and then when I call them they are hangin out and paying me back for what I did... Well then I answer myself and say well I guess I expect this since I did it to her and treated her so badly. I am upset but in a few days we will have to talk about how to deal with this and I will let her know why I went out behind her and that it won't happen again... After putting it like that, it makes me wonder how come she couldn't think like that. I would think like that... Nope, all she did was give up. And I think I just miss being next to her and holding her and I always felt horny around her. I'd do anything and nothing about her grossed me out. I'd pick her nose and vice versa as how close we were. I'd do it all. This is hard and I guess I failed the challenge. Or maybe not since I'm not asking a question but merely using this as a journal?

[bswc]

All the questions that floats in your mind are complicated questions. There's too many deciding factors when coming to a relationship, communication skills, how much you can love, your way of solving problems, and endless going list. If u knew you didn't did your best, write it down anywhere or just in your brain that you are going to be better in the future. She gave up because she GAVEUP! You're hurt because you LOVED her! That's the answer to where your path is leading you in the future, a better man.

From a third party point of view, u're getting stronger and stronger inside. There's nothing wrong to feel weak, it just wake up our mind abit. Not much people gets a wake up call from being great, that's human nature for a major group of people. It's a plan of God

[rockie100]

Well I was thinking that through the weekend, I would see other threads/posts/answers, having to do with some of your intrests... i.e. sports, music, design. I watched... I waited... and then this!!
Oh well, you tried... I guess.

[emopunk7]

Thank you bswc... My ex ex Erica wrote me back today and we text back to each other about work. Then I wrote have a great day this morning. Then at 7PM she wrote back asking how was work. I said I'm still at work but how was her day and she said it was good. Is she interested again?

I am feeling a bit better about the break up. Hopefully another month and a half I will be good to go!!

[friend4u178]

I am feeling a bit better about the break up. Hopefully another month and a half I will be good to go!!!

There's no set time limit Emo , everyone handles adversity differently. BUT you can make it go quicker by not wondering about the if's , whys and what ifs ;)

Your doing OK Buddy:cool:

[emopunk7]

I thought you were everything I would ever need.
So I took a leap not knowing we could bleed.
You must be clumsy because you tripped and we broke.
Heartless and cruel, leaving me here to choke.

I'd rather be anywhere with anyone right now
Never understanding why you did this nor how.
Leaving myself wide open for you to enter or destroy
You took me for granted and played me like a toy.

One thing is for certain, we are through
I will never be yours and this is forever true
I know your evil ways, so far away I will stay.
I will live life to the fullest and enjoy everyday!

[rockie100]

I really think you have a gift.

[emopunk7]

Holding hearts towards the stars with arms spread apart.
Lightning blues and thunder bliss, celebrates a fresh start.
The air so swift and ever gentle on thy skin
This feeling lets me know there is happiness within.

Comets fire blazing in speed from one side to the other
Picture perfect scenarios, hug thy sister and thy brother.
With time winding down, can we ever move too fast?
Life is but a theory, and everyday, drifting past.

Tranquil and peace, white tigers and water creeks
All the wonders in the world, includes all that human seeks.
Let life not overwhelm thee, just look to the skies above
Fireworks and glory, let every creation celebrate love!

[rockie100]

This one evoked visual thoughts.

What color/colors are you going to paint the room?

[emopunk7]

Great analysis... Thats exactly what I was going for... Visual Thoughts.
I am thinking of painting it light lime gray and install gallery lights on the ceiling. I'm excited... Im going to go to home depot tomorrow.

[bswc]

You're gifted, I have little imaginations in my mind too, but its in blur images, not clear image like artists. People find it hard to get in me to understand me. If I'd have money I'd build a cottage with grass on the roof, or a house next to the beach, enjoying the private moment.

[rockie100]

Oh yes, I think that room will have a calming effect. Modern color I think.

[emopunk7]

Yes, exactly... a modern color with calming effects... I love tranquility. I'm going to get those rocks with water falling down as well... When it is all done I will share photos... I can see it in my head now... Will cost me about $300 with paint lights and new shades. Possibly glass doors for my closet as well. I can't wait to get started tomorrow.

I'm sure you have great imagination... Just take your time and explore within your mind... Like think of colorful fish eating hot dogs under water with you on a table and you pass the fish a fork and he says thank you in french and you can understand what the fish said. The sky is the limit with imagination.

[rockie100]

Pics would be cool...
Think you were responding to bswc in the latter part, but couldn't help seeing the fish with a handle-bar mustach... "merci beaucoup" lol