[doubfulGF]

Well whatever happens, I suggest you don't make the first move EVER! And then don't even hope he will contact you... if he does, then I know you'll be happy , take it from there... but again, like I did, it was also painful to even let go of that little hope at the back of your mind that he might ask you back... but then , like I always say, let the pain knock me down one time , because it's only when we're knocked down that they stop beating...

This way, after we're knocked down, the next move is to slowly recover, heal and then move on and gather strength ready for a fight again :)

Now is the perfect time to be MIND OVER HEART.

[stefani1]

Omg! OK so I am in a very similar situation!! But I got dumped twice and he came back to me both times. But what it sounds like is that he treats you this way because he knows you are a for sure thing. You know his attitude and issues and you allow it and accept it. When men act this way, they know that it won't be easy to find a good woman 1. and to a good woman that accepts all his flaws. Honestly, I know this is not what you really want to hear right now, but, he probably already had met someone when you guys were together, and knows that he can break it off with you so that he can date the other, check it out for a few months or so and if it doesn't work out, then he comes back to you. Seems pretty harsh I know. But this is what I think happened with me.
The result is if things were meant to be with the two of you, then it will eventualyl happen. And remember the saying... if you let something go and it comes back to you, it is yours, otherwise, it never was.
Also sometimes its good to let them get a break from you. They date others and realize how much you really do for them and learn to appreciate you! Let him simmer in his own grief for a bit. Don't take him back right away even though it kills you.

[talaniman]

Your hurt, though painful, is natural to feel after a break up. You are a caring person, and have put way more into this relationship than he has, and honestly that is not healthy on your part. He may come back, and I can guarantee that things will not change, and you will be no happier than you were before. Sorry but he is a taker, and you will have misery, because he will never give you what you deserve so instead of crying over him, enjoy your freedom and accept he is out of your life, and you can find a real happiness ,not the fake stuff he offers you. Move on, and get a life you enjoy without him, and cut him from your life altogether. Hard as it is now, you will feel much better later, as you get those intense feelings under control and see things for what they are, and not be his slave any longer.

[HurtingALot]

Hey Everyone...

Ok... so it's Friday and I made it (sometimes barely... ) through the week. But now the weekend is here and I would normally be with him. There has been NC (on either part) since 1:30 Sunday Morning (when he called me to ask if I was going to give him the 2 weeks to see if he "misses me")... I know the right thing is NC... it is helping... (a little.) I considered sending a text today just to say "I'm still missing you..." just to be sure he knows I am. Is this the right thing to do? I know any prospect of a reconciliation NEEDS to come from his side and he would have to chase me... (I'm not kidding... ) but I don't want him to think that maybe we both are better off without each other since he hasn't heard from me either. I miss him so much... what's the right thing to do here?

[doubfulGF]

Even if he doesn't know if you miss him or not, it doesn't matter, if he misses you , he will contact you regardless of any reason... again, just hold on... and never sent that text, he will even take you for granted all the more... don't do the first move.

[talaniman]

Your emotions are telling you to contact him, but the best course of action is to make plans for keeping yourself busy, and not contact him at all. If he contacts you, what makes you think he will treat you any better? He may say he will, but actions speak louder than words. If he contacts you, do not respond right away, but make sure your composed and cool when you do. I honestly hope you move on, and stop his settling for his degrading ways. You deserve someone who appreciates your attentions with love and gratitude. He does not.

[HurtingALot]

So my birthday is on Monday... and my BF and I are currently on a "break.." For those who haven't read my story... in a nutshell... 10 month relationship... up and down, he's pretty (very) selfish... but I love him and continue to put up with it... Have taken breaks before, but this time he says he feels different. He wants to see if he can be happier with someone else... etc... etc... but wants me to give him 2 weeks to see if he "misses me"... (he said if I need an answer now, then it is over, but he would like for me to give him the time.. ) I am dying most of the time, but have managed to get through this week with NC whatsoever (on either part... ) Question... my birthday is Monday... considering it's within the "2 week" span, what should I be thinking? Part of me wants him to call... thinking maybe that's a sign that he doesn't want to let me go... part of me thinks if he doesn't, maybe he has found happiness away from me... This is awful. I miss him and truly want a healthy relationship with him... AND WANT HIM BACK... BUT I also understand that if it is ever to work, he's the one who needs to realize things and work for me to come back to him. It can't be from me... I certainly have tried everything else. I am just anxious about how this all turns out... and my heart is hurting. If he doesn't call on Monday, does that mean I should assume he's really gone, even though it hasn't been that long? What to do?!

[HurtingALot]

Why does this NC thing feel so hard so much of the time? I know if it is meant to be, it will be. AND that if we are to get things back, it has to come from him... but it's so hard. I miss him so much... why does it seem like he doesn't miss me? It has only been 6 days... but I feel like I am slowly dying. Should he not have realized by now?

[Rina _4]

If he really loves you then he would not be asking you for 2 weeks away from you. I think he wants to give you 2 weeks to forget about him. I would definitely not wait for his call on Monday, the day of your birthday. In fact you should be making plans to go out and have fun on your birthday. He sounds very selfish, asking for 2 weeks when he knows your birthday is within the 2 weeks span. You should consider moving on with and find new friends because life is too short.

Happy Birthday.

[lulu2912]

I agree. If he asks you for two weeks then he obviously doesn't care about your feelings. You should make your own plans for your birthday and don't include him in any part of it. I know you love him, but you should be with someone who truly cares about you. That person is out there, but you will never find him if your stuck on this person!

[talaniman]

Wait your turn until he is through with his new hunny bunny,:eek: Be patient.:rolleyes:

[diya]

Your birthday is a special time for you and why spoil it over those who don't consider it special anymore... hard truth... let's say you've got a new life on the day... welcome it with open arms and forget about those who make you feel miserable... ur deserve better treatment than this... right? All the best...

[talaniman]

but I feel like I am slowly dying. Should he not have realized by now?

Do you have a job?
Do you go to school?
As I told you in another post he is to busy to worry about you. You have admitted you put more in the relationship than he did so realise how dumb and one sided that was, and also see that if that's what you want back then there is a problem with your thinking to accept this degrading behaviour. Sorry to be cruel but you need a push to get off stupid and here it is. Now get busy doing something besides mooning for some loser. He won't be back until his new hunny bunny kicks him to the curb. WAKE UP.

[HurtingALot]

Talaniman... first of all, thanks for your responses... I really do appreciate your (blunt) honesty. To answer your questions... yes, I do have a job... and a full life. A son and an amazing family and friends... I know what you are saying when you tell me that I don't deserve the way this guy behaves (even when we are together... ) and that I really need to move on. BUT... I really do miss him and am hoping for the best. I know in my heart of hearts that this relationship was negatively impacting me... but it's still hard to let go of someone who you thought could/would be different. As I have mentioned before, he is bipolar... (officially)... and not treating himself. Even though I'm aware of this fact, it is still difficult to comprehend how this all came about. I agree that he may have someone else in mind right now, but I am not sure how realistic it is of him to think he could be happier with someone else. I was really amazing to him. Two days before we broke up, he was telling me how much he wanted to be with me and then, bam... I guess I just don't get it... and my heart hurts.

[HurtingALot]

This is a guy who would come up to my job just to see me for a few minutes... and call me like crazy when things were good. It's just hard to believe that it really might be over this time... like I mentioned, we have been on little "breaks" before... and not spoken for a week or so... but he says this time is "different"... I can't believe it. Could it really be? I don't understand how so much changes in the span of 24 hours.

[HurtingALot]

I keep thinking that maybe his car will just be there one day as I am leaving work... so far, it hasn't... Am I really just kidding myself?

[gypsy456]

You want him back so he can continue to be selfish and treat you like a doormat ?
Ah... that makes sense.

You are celebrating your birth day...
A new period in your life...
Move on.

This does not sound like the most ideal person to be with.

But hey... if you like a selfish man then I think you have found the right one !


Happy Birthday !

[Rina _4]

Some times when we are in love with some one, we become blind to the point that the people we love take advantage of us and day after day we live not noticing what is wrong or right with our relationships. We must step out and look from the outside to realize what's really going on- on the inside.

I hope every body's message here helped you find the light and just in time for you to make those plans to enjoy a new beginning on a special day- Your Birthday. Go out with a positive attitude and with expectancy of a bright future.

[doubfulGF]

Got this from some forwarded emails... :)

We call it love when we can't leave someone and see them crying as we
Try to let go. We are wrong, it's just pity. We call it love when
We're too attached and think that losing the one we love will somehow
Make us weak and unable to face to storms of life. We misunderstood,
Its just that we're too much dependent to them. We call it love when
We give our whole life to them, the wholeness of us and imagined that
If they leave no one would accept us and our past. We are mistaken,
Its just insecurity. But no matter what the definition is, the truth
Still remains that love isn't something you can bury nor beg. It is
Real and existing. You can't touch it but you can feel it in your
Heart. You can't find it, but it will knock before you when you least
Expect it to come. It can make you the happiest soul in heaven, but
Don't forget that it also can make you the most miserable person in
The whole universe.

[doubfulGF]

:)