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jmw0713 · Feb 4, 2009, 09:32 AM

How old are you?

You should really take some time and make sure you are completely over your last relationship before pursuing a new one. If now, the new one will end up like your last one... broken.

Justwantfair · Feb 4, 2009, 09:33 AM

Take your time, this new person is understanding, you need time to get back about you. You have nothing with this new person but an interest, hold onto your interest for a while but worry about learning about you again.

Romefalls19 · Feb 4, 2009, 09:43 AM

Take your time, date and get to know each other. Make sure you are happy with yourself first.

Irishgirl · Feb 4, 2009, 09:49 AM

Sorry sometimes I can't view my replies until I've types in a message. Thank you all I think I know its too soon and I'm really just going to spend the next couple of months having some fun and if he wants to stick around in the background that's up to him. I'm 27 by the way thanks

artlady · Feb 4, 2009, 09:49 AM

If his expectations are realistic and so are yours and you aren't looking to fall in love ,there is nothing wrong with dating and moving on with your life.

As you stated you were emotionally over your BF before the split.

Have fun,why not?

You probably deserve it after having a break-up.

Justwantfair · Feb 4, 2009, 09:50 AM

Originally Posted by Irishgirl

Sorry sometimes I can't view my replies until I've types in a message. Thank you all I think I know its too soon and I'm really just going to spend the next couple of months having some fun and if he wants to stick around in the background thats up to him. I'm 27 by the way thanx

Hit the refresh button on your computer or go back to your profile. You don't have to enter additional messages.

jmw0713 · Feb 4, 2009, 10:45 AM

Good idea Irish. Enjoy being single for a bit then go looking for a companion.

talaniman · Feb 4, 2009, 11:06 AM

Sorry sometimes I can't view my replies until I've types in a message.

Rather than closing your old threads, they have been merged, which changes where you find your posts.

When asking a question about the same thing it gets very confusing for readers to get all the facts, which is why yours have been merged to one thread.

talaniman · Feb 4, 2009, 11:22 AM

Too soon?

Its to soon to be serious with anyone, but never too soon to have fun and be happy. That's how you move on, by enjoying your single life.

Just be very aware that falling for someone, and getting attached, so soon after a break up is a rebound, and will bite you, or someone in the butt later.

Irishgirl · Feb 5, 2009, 08:30 AM

Sorry for being computer illiterate, just getting used to this really. Thanks for the imput though but got more info last night. Really don't want to hurt this fella he's too nice but last night he called and said he went to a fortune teller(is that girlie?) and apparently she described me to a tee even describing my job(which is weird for a girl) and knew where I lived!! He went on to say she describe your beautiful eyes and gorgeous smile and to be honest I'm uncomfortable with compliments to start with so this was cringe worthy for me to hear over the phone sober! Think he may be more interested than me but should I say something and what? He's taking me for a meal tomorrow night and can't cancel cause already asked if we could move it to Friday night cause I'm going out with the girls on Saturday and think that would be rude. Any ideas? The last thing I want to do is lead him on.

artlady · Feb 5, 2009, 11:09 AM

Make sure someone knows where you are going and meet him with your car to where you are going.
Also you might want to ask someone who knows him well what he is all about. You don't want to be on a date with some kind of stalker.Be responsible and cover your back.

Irishgirl · Feb 6, 2009, 06:55 AM

Sorry Artlady think you got wrong end of stick was looking for advice on what I should say to him re: slowing down, thanks though.

HistorianChick · Feb 6, 2009, 06:59 AM

Originally Posted by Irishgirl

The last thing I want to do is lead him on.

Then tell him that.

I didn't read your back story, but that last quote in your most recent post says it all.

You don't want to lead him on. Then don't.

Tell him that you're "just not that into him" (not in so many words, of course); tell him that you're not interested in a relationship right now, but would still go out to dinner as friends. Be honest with him. Don't play with his heart.

Irishgirl · Feb 9, 2009, 09:05 AM

Neverme you sound like you've a good head on your shoulders so question! I just split up with my ex 2 weeks ago, hadn't been going well for a while just grew apart I think,we ended on good terms though he's never going to be my friend. But I meet this other guy the next night wile out with friends, he wasn't drinking and came straight over to me in front of all my friends and asked for my number, very brave-you haven't met my friends - who are all being protective since the break up and descend on men like vultures if they don't match up to standards! So that was 2 weeks ago and I can't fault him, he came to a night out in my local and only stayed for an hour then took me for a meal on Friday. Very good company as well, last night he asked me if I wanted to go to a wedding in 2 weeks but I'm scared its all going a bit fast. He knows my situation and says he's not looking for anything more than to get to know me better,is this all happening to fast? Oh me and my ex were going out for 18 months but prob should have split up 4-5 months ago since been different since then thank u

neverme · Feb 9, 2009, 09:32 AM

Irishgirl, I would start a new thread if I were you, just by the way.

I think you should go for it. If for no other reason than the free meal :)

No really, it sounds like this guy is really nice. He knows your situation and has obviously had to brave the storm of both your friends and the local! Not an easy feat by any means.

Take it at your pace and keep communication open. If it starts to feel uncomfortable then pull back. As long as your honest it doesn't seem as though someone will get hurt.

I don't know if this is applicable because you obviously have thought long and hard about your ex relationship but make sure that you're completely over it. Also I would go NC with the ex, if even only for a while. You need to let the emotional dust settle.

chrissymarie · Feb 9, 2009, 03:47 PM

I don't see what's moving too fast. It seems like he's just wanting to get to know you. Moving to fast would be like proposing or something like that. I think your just not used to dating yet. Don't jump into another relationship right away though. Take your time and get to know him really well.

Irishgirl · Feb 16, 2009, 04:12 AM

Hey thanks for reading this. I recently split with an ex of 18 months -3 weeks ago- and haven't spoken to him since, Ii was his idea and I thought it was amicable, just didn't have the same feelings for each other anymore etc.I went to a wedding which his parents were also at and brought a guest to the evening party. After a few too many we were kissing and dancing and he lift early as I was staying over and I thought no more of it, the following week - last week - I went out with my friends to a really packed nightclub and kissed fella in the corner out of the way not in public view and again thought no more of it - just a drunken kiss and went on with my night. On Saturday night I went out to same nightclub and banged into my ex - he completely blanked me. I asked him what was wrong and he looked at me with eyes that could cut glass and said he knew about the wedding he had seen me kiss this other guy and didn't want anything to do with me and to go away! Even said why was I in that club as if I was hoping to run into him, I live in a small town and this is the only nightclub!! I got upset and said id this how it's going to be and he said yes so I left, my question is I don't think he has any right to be angry at me since we weren't seeing each other and I have no responsibility to survey the place I'm in to see if he or any of his family is there! My friend thinks its because he still has feelings but we both made it clear there would be no going back and I've stuck to it, is he angry cause I've moved on so quick?

starbuck8 · Feb 16, 2009, 04:29 AM

You bet he's angry that you've moved on. You're not suppose to you know! And you are not suppose to go to the places he hangs out at either! How dare you get on with your life! For shame! Lol!

Seriously, he is angry because he sees you moving on, and he likely hasn't. The grass isn't always greener. He is taking out his own issues on you.

Irishgirl · Feb 16, 2009, 05:00 AM

Thank you, that's what I thought too. Just hoped we could still be civil but it's not looking likely now,aw well its not like I lost anything, could never have been his friend anyway. Just surprising to see how nasty he can actually be,suppose its better that I know that. I actually think he thought I was going to be distraught and cry myself to sleep every night trying desperately to ring him and beg him to take me back. Can't understand how he has the energy to be that mad at me. Thought he knew me better than that,he always said I was too independent! Men, can't live with them can't kill them - well you can but would it be worth it? Lol

starbuck8 · Feb 16, 2009, 05:14 AM

The thing is, is that many do really want you to be absolutely miserable! How dare you look happy without them? Yes, you are suppose to be home crying and staring at the phone... kissing his pictures... listening to the songs, that were "your" songs... unable to go on! It ticks them off when they see that you can still actually stand and speak! (this goes the same for women, so you men?. don't send me hate mail, lol)

They pretend to leave the relationship on amicable terms, but when they see that you are actually doing that, it's not so much fun anymore, because they didn't win.