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talaniman · Dec 19, 2014, 01:40 PM

I think you approach him straight up, and tell him you are seriously looking, and will take a job as a dance instructor soon, then gauge his reaction. That would be better than springing it on him and get him use to the idea. Hopefully his initial reaction will soften with enough time and your persistence.

You have already gotten the ball rolling so keep it moving. Be gentle though as a man's ego can be fragile. Often we worry more when we KNOW our female has never had anyone but us, and she is a fine attractive catch on top of that!

You probably have spoiled him too, being home when he gets home and have been safely tucked away from other males. I can imagine the thoughts going through his head. Unfounded as you probably get bored soccer moms as clients. Or females dragging their reluctant mates along.

Wonder where his feelings really come from? Ask him. Then you will know whats the best approach.

rahqi11 · Dec 19, 2014, 02:09 PM

Like I said earlier we have A lot of history and some of the things that have happened in the past make him feel like he has to protect me 24/7. So if I put myself in positions where he feels like he cant protect me in then he gets worried. I just want him to relax and stop worrying. I mean I have friends whose husbands would looove for their wives to work so I don't get why he doesn't appreciate my willingness to help him. Also I do have life insurance on my husband.

tickle · Dec 19, 2014, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by rahqi11

Like I said earlier we have A lot of history and some of the things that have happened in the past make him feel like he has to protect me 24/7. So if I put myself in positions where he feels like he cant protect me in then he gets worried. I just want him to relax and stop worrying. I mean I have friends whose husbands would looove for their wives to work so I don't get why he doesn't appreciate my willingness to help him. Also I do have life insurance on my husband.

You have life insurance on your husband, that's good. Does he have life insurance on you ?

I don't know why this thread has gone so long because everything we have suggested has been swept under the rug.

I really think some of the things he has had to protect you from, are from your dancing history. What kind of places do you dance in ? Is there lap dancing going on, etc. because I think this what any man would object to if he loves his wife. AND we go back to my first post, if that is the case, then why would you want to go back to that kind of dancing.

Please elaborate.

rahqi11 · Dec 19, 2014, 02:43 PM

No there is no lap dancing going on! It's a school for dancers where I assist an licensed dance instructor to teach latin, modern, lyrical, jazz, and hip hop dance. Like i said before I don't take off any of my clothes and i don't dance provocatively.

tickle · Dec 19, 2014, 04:19 PM

Originally Posted by rahqi11

No there is no lap dancing going on! It's a school for dancers where I assist an licensed dance instructor to teach latin, modern, lyrical, jazz, and hip hop dance. Like i said before I don't take off any of my clothes and i don't dance provocatively.

Okay, got that for heavens sake, but why doesn't your husband know this, and if he does know it is an innocent past time, why does he object ?

We burned our bras a long time ago rahqi. Just tell him what you want to do and do it !

We are not mind readers to tell you why he doesn't want you to do it.

rahqi11 · Dec 19, 2014, 08:53 PM

Well thank you! You all have been very helpful and everyone has given great advice!

talaniman · Dec 20, 2014, 05:43 AM

No matter how bad a partner wants something, the feelings of the other partner cannot be ignored. Whatever the fears and concerns are must be addressed. Knowing them and understanding the fears is half the battle in figuring out how to address those fears.

Doesn't hurt to listen and understand. It does hurt to dismiss and ignore.