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    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #21

    Mar 5, 2014, 08:54 AM
    I would imagine this 19 year old knows you're ready too which is why he contacted you again. You may think you are mature but you have no clue. You are turned on by a 19 year old who is giving you attention. This is about sex for him. Are you prepared for a pregnancy and motherhood? Do you honestly think this guy would stick around? You're thinking like a 15 year old.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #22

    Mar 5, 2014, 09:00 AM
    Well first, the age of consent in the UK is 16 so it would be rape if he were to have sex with you. Second, you just proved again how immature you really are to think you are ready for sex at 15.

    But I will apologize for the comment about a senior at 15. While this is an international site, most of us are from the US where high school seniors are generally 17-18. Never have understood the British school system.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #23

    Mar 5, 2014, 09:25 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by lilflower1999 View Post
    I live in England, most students start college at 16. We met at a party just over two years ago which was when we became friends. To be fair most people wouldn't expect that I'm 15 as I've always had older friends. Obviously I know all 19 year olds do think about sex a lot but I don't see why that's a problem if I'm ready too?
    He couldn't tell you were 12/13 years old when you met? If you became friends just over two years ago and were talking for a year before 'meeting up', when did he find out how old you actually are? Before or after you started 'meeting up'?

    Why didn't you let your parents know about him before you started meeting up with him? Were you hiding the relationship?
    lilflower1999's Avatar
    lilflower1999 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #24

    Mar 5, 2014, 11:51 AM
    Of course I'm not ready to be a mother but me and my mum have spoke about birth control and me and him both agreed not to have sex until I am on some sort of contraception to be on the safe side. Admittedly I'm not a virgin but I'm not stupid enough to go and get myself pregnant or even risk that chance, all I know is I want to be with him, he makes me happy we were hiding the relationship because we didn't think it would get as far as it did but it has and now my mum knows, she's slowly learning to accept it but I respect that it's going to take time
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #25

    Mar 5, 2014, 11:53 AM
    Birth control is never 100% effective even when its used correctly.

    Pardon my choice of words, but If you have sex at all... then you are stupid enough to get pregnant. Because quite honestly... anytime you have sex... that can happen despite whatever measures you take to prevent it.

    Don't doubt me as we have several adult women who got pregnant despite using three forms of birth control at once....one of them is a Nurse that works in that field....(dealing with pregnant women).

    If there is one person alive you can be sure knew exactly how to do it correctly....its her...and it happened more than once. If you wonder who that was its J_9.

    THe odds of a young teenager doing something wrong with birth control is very high.
    lilflower1999's Avatar
    lilflower1999 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #26

    Mar 5, 2014, 12:01 PM
    Although I'm not planning on getting pregnant any time soon, I know I'd be able to cope, I've had one scare and my whole family were really supportive and so was the guy, I honestly am a lot more mature that what all you guys think, I've dealt with a lot in my life, from losing my dad at a young age, living with a disabled child and so much more. I can deal with this.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #27

    Mar 5, 2014, 12:12 PM
    If you feel a need to prove it... then you aren't. And at 15...you can't possibly have a hint of what its like to be on your own supporting yourself much less doing it for yourself AND a baby.


    A scare is nothing... the real thing means you will be lucky to sleep two hours at a time between feedings for at least a year... and many, many diaper (or Nappies) for at least three years adn maybe longer...

    You get over a scare...you don't get over the real thing.

    And I bet the guy will be gone long before that time... most are. A 17 year old going after a 12/13 year old likes lttle girls....you won't be little forever....then he's going to find another when that happens.

    You are only 15... you haven't had enough life to have dealt with a lot. I own boots a lot older than that. I've got a motorcycle I've owned and ridden TWICE that long... I've had one of my cars and my truck that long.

    You only think its been a lot... and most of what you imagine everything will be like... will be completely wrong. You are talking to people that have been your age...people that have gone through all of this before. I've was always a realistic kid....not an dreamer.....I was shocked by how wrong I was when I became an adault and had to support myself.

    And guess what... your family isn't goijng to do everything for you... not for very long. A baby is a life long commitment... and a full time job for at least the first 18 years... assuming they get off their butts and get a job then... or its even longer.

    Hate to bust your bubble... but its time for a reality check. I''m not being mean...I'm trying to be nice. You can't take a kid back....everything you do once you have one if for the kid....anything you want becomes unimportant....because the baby relies on you for everything. No time for fun...no time to do what other kids your age would be doing...because the kid always comes first.

    So anything YOU wanted to do with your life......forget them....they would be a thing of the past.

    And it seems like the people who don't want a kid...and aren't ready for one...are the ones that usually get pregnant.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #28

    Mar 5, 2014, 12:13 PM
    Admittedly I'm not a virgin but I'm not stupid enough to go and get myself pregnant or even risk that chance,
    If you are not a virgin you have ALREADY risked that chance!!

    I honestly am a lot more mature that what all you guys think
    Not by what you have posted here. You said you have had one scare. The assumption there is you thought you were pregnant. Yet you haven't seemd to have learned much from that. As noted, no form of birth control is 100% effective. So if you engage in intercourse you ARE risking pregnancy.
    lilflower1999's Avatar
    lilflower1999 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #29

    Mar 5, 2014, 12:43 PM
    Condoms are 100% effective if used properly so I don't think I'm really taking a massive risk, I know I can't expect everything from my family but one thing I do expect is their acceptance.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #30

    Mar 5, 2014, 12:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lilflower1999 View Post
    Condoms are 100% effective if used properly so I don't think I'm really taking a massive risk, I know I can't expect everything from my family but one thing I do expect is their acceptance.
    Really, do your actually believe that? Where did you that from anyway... other kids? I'm serious...most 12 year olds know condoms are NOT 100% effective.
    Not even condom manufacturers make a claim that outlandish because they would be in legal trouble for false advertizing.

    NO form of birth control is 100% effective. And condoms aren't even close.

    Condoms are only about 80% effective IF used right... no teenage knows how to use them right... there are many ways to use them wrong. Only one way to use them right. That means 20 times out of every 100 a condom is used... it doesn't do its job.

    That alone proves how clueless you are about everything.

    Acceptance doesn't pay bills... acceptance doesn't do much at all when you sit back and really think about it. If you have a baby... they Have to accept it happened... they don't have to accept some perv is banging their little girl. And you can't expect them to ever like the guy. Because they don't have to accept everything. THey don't HAVE to accept anything.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #31

    Mar 5, 2014, 12:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lilflower1999 View Post
    Condoms are 100% effective if used properly so I don't think I'm really taking a massive risk, I know I can't expect everything from my family but one thing I do expect is their acceptance.

    You really believe that? Another sign of your lack of immaturity:

    How Effective Are Male Condoms at Birth Control?

    Condoms are about 85% effective for birth control. With careful use, they are even more effective. Keep in mind that the best way to avoid getting pregnant is to not have sex (abstinence). (from Condoms (Male and Female): How to Use, Types, Effectiveness, and Protection)

    No one method is 100% effective in perfect or typical use over time.
    If you want 100% protection from pregnancy, the only way to get that is
    By not having the kinds of sex (genital intercourse or other direct
    Genital-to-genital contact) that present risks of pregnancy.
    From Get Real! How Well Will Condoms Really Work?

    You clearly don't know what you are talking about. We have 2 members here who got pregnant using not ONE but THREE methods of birth control. The fact is you can minimize the risk but not eliminate it.
    lilflower1999's Avatar
    lilflower1999 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #32

    Mar 5, 2014, 01:09 PM
    I've now decided I don't care about your discouraging opinions, only want to hear positive things
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #33

    Mar 5, 2014, 01:15 PM
    Getting knocked up at 15 will POSITIVELY ruin the rest of your life... but then.. its your life... if you ruin it... it won't affect us at all...we can sleep well thinking quite smuggly "we told you so" and YOU are the one that will have to live with it.

    Just remember... its your screwup... don't go trying to blame others... since you think you have all the answers... you will find out how wrong you were about everything soon enough anyway.

    Feel free to do it out of spite.....things done out of spite NEVER end well.....but then, if you have all this life experience you talk about....you would have known that too.

    Incidently...after he gets tired and leaves you with a kid....long before you are 18...(and statistically thats VERY likely)..the only young guys that will date you are guys that think...she had a kid at 15...she's easy...so they go out just to have sex.....when they get bored they move on.....no young teenage guy wants to raise another guys child....in fact few guys in their early 20's would either. Its going to get really lonely.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #34

    Mar 5, 2014, 05:27 PM
    Typical teenager. You ask for advice get advice you don't like so you ignore it. The last advice was not "discouraging opinions", but hard facts. You made a statement that was highly inaccurate. I gave you 2 websites, reputable ones, that tell you your statement was wrong. Faced with facts that show how wrong you are, you retreat into denial. And you expect us to accept you as mature?

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