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j7char · Jul 28, 2013, 07:42 PM

OK let me explain... I set up a dummy fb account and friended this girl that I saw on his fb commenting way too much... she confided she didn't have romantic feelings for him and that he told her he has a fiancé... she also said he had text her while sitting next to his girlfriend(me) and she just thought that was tacky... he doesn't do it... I just think I am overly... cautious do to getting hurt in the past... after 2 proposals, and 3 heart breaks, and watching how guys (friends, family) I just have trust issues to be honest... I want to know he is bullting me... in my heart I don't think so but at the same time I have been blinded by what I thought was love in the past..

odinn7 · Jul 28, 2013, 07:50 PM

If you don't trust him already and are making fake FB accounts in order to help you check up on him... your relationship is ultimately doomed. Without trust, you've got nothing... well, nothing except issues.

j7char · Jul 28, 2013, 08:00 PM

OK... then I won't have anyone.. I have never seen I man who never cheated..

Wondergirl · Jul 28, 2013, 08:03 PM

Originally Posted by j7char

ok....then i wont have anyone.. i have never seen i man who never cheated..

You are hanging with the wrong crowd. Most of the men I have known have NEVER cheated, married or not.

j7char · Jul 29, 2013, 07:58 PM

That is shocking... are you sure? I am not trying to be funny but, if you're a female you may not really know. If you're guy, I would believe it because you would know from a male point of view. That could be, I am around the wrong crowd, but even family members have cheated...

Wondergirl · Jul 29, 2013, 08:01 PM

Originally Posted by j7char

that is shocking... are you sure? I am not trying to be funny but, if you're a female you may not really know. If you're guy, I would believe it because you would know from a male point of view. that could be, I am around the wrong crowd, but even family members have cheated...

I am female and 67, have been married for 46 years, had had many relatives and good friends (both male and female) over those years, could count on one hand the men I have known who have cheated. There ARE lots of moral people in the world.

JudyKayTee · Jul 30, 2013, 11:23 AM

This post is full of land mines including the "do it yourself" investigation and this statement - "no he doesn't, I think he feels I get upset... but he claims he doesn't because he is trying to avoid the mothers... yes more than one.. he has the wife and the ex mistress baby mother... and he doesn't speak to either... they only call him for money.. So he doesn't pay support and the mothers call him for money as needed?

And, yes, hang with another crowd if every man you know has cheated.

How many children between you, both when married and out of wedlock? Who pays for them?

I'm an investigator. That's what I do. When people ask me to check up on a partner I tell them if they've reached that stage in the relationship it's time to go no matter what I find. Fake FB? Really?

Homegirl 50 · Jul 30, 2013, 06:53 PM

This guys sounds like bad news and I think you know it. Move him out of your house and out of your life. At least get him out of your house, you have kids.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 30, 2013, 10:49 PM

It appears you are ready to accept cheating, so how often do you cheat ?

But no, most men do not cheat. You know too many wrong people, perhaps you need to meet people at other places

j7char · Aug 15, 2013, 04:01 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

I am female and 67, have been married for 46 years, had had many relatives and good friends (both male and female) over those years, could count on one hand the men I have known who have cheated. There ARE lots of moral people in the world.

That is so beautiful, I wish I knew as many morally correct people. Many blessings and congratulations on your marriage.

j7char · Aug 15, 2013, 04:13 AM

@ JUDYKAYTEE
thanks for your feedback... I wish you had read the thread... He has not cheated on me. I don't have kids with him nor will I ever. I am a mother and don't respect a man that is not supportive. I love a man that is a provider and he does that. He has a child in college... and others that he is dad to that are not biologically his and he there for financially, emotionally etc. its just not so sweet when kids don't call to say hey are you alive? How are you?. just hey dad can I have some money?
I would allow my kids to degrade or disrespect their father. No matter what the circumstances are.
yes, I did creat the fake fb account... why hire anyone.. I have been cheated on too many times, engaged 3 times and I am hell bent on not getting my heart broken is all... he has not cheated on my, far as I know. What I have said is that I have been around nothing but, cheaters and I want to be sure this is for real... he will move the world for me if I expressed a desire for it.. he is everything I want in a lifetime partner... my concerns were if it was too good to be true and since I am a believer in god, even though he is going through a divorce... I have a conscience and I feel I'm committing the ultimate sin being with him before those papers are finalized..

j7char · Aug 15, 2013, 04:14 AM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

This guys sounds like bad news and I think you know it. Move him out of your house and out of your life. At least get him out of your house, you have kids.

Thank you

j7char · Aug 15, 2013, 04:20 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

It appears you are ready to accept cheating, so how often do you cheat ?

but no, most men do not cheat. you know too many wrong people, perhaps you need to meet people at other places

Actually I am not a cheater, I wouldn't settle for a cheater and don't intend to.
Yes, obviously I know too many rotten men.. I guess their all in new York... smh, I have tried different types of men... I was told date outside your race if you need to just so long as the person is on your level... I was doomed... I am done trying to just go by what the horses mouth says I did my homework is all...