[Alty]

Do use think he will chane if i leave him ?

No, he'll never change.

You can't change someone. You either accept them the way they are, or you don't. You can't change who someone is. If you don't like who they are you leave, and find someone you do like, without needing to change them.

[Mahiya1212]

You are stupid and will hurt your heart forever if you stay with such an angry, controlling person. If he says forgive him and he will improve, but he does not improve, walk away. He is full of sweet words that mean nothing. You will always cry if you stay with him.

Why are you calling me stupid? I have only loved him truly so I am stupid ? Yes I do understand what you are saying as you can see he is controlling so how do I deal with breaking up with him as in see him and tell him that we can no longer be ?

[Alty]

When u say stupid what do you mean? Have i been stupid putting up with him? Well his behaviour is still the same , he hates it if anyone says anything to me disrespects me he says he has never loved and the only low he has is just for me so he tries to control his anger but he knows how much i hate anger so why does he still doit and if he doesnt speak to me he says after an argument he said he didnt want to say the rong thing

He does it because that's who he is. He will always be the way he is, because it's who he is.

It doesn't matter that you don't like what he does, he can't change what you don't like, anymore than you can change your height, or the color of your eyes.

If you want to stay with him, you have to accept him for the way he is. If you can't, and it seems you can't, then your only option is to leave.

He will never change his personality for you, no matter how much he loves you, or how much you love him. He is who he is. Love him for who he is, or leave him and find someone you don't need to change.

[Wondergirl]

Why are u calling me stupid? I have only loved him truely so i am stupid ? Yes i do understand what u r saying as u can see he is controlling so how do i deal with breaking up with him as in see him and tell him that we can no longer be ?

You say goodbye and have no more to do with him.

[Alty]

Why are u calling me stupid? I have only loved him truely so i am stupid ? Yes i do understand what u r saying as u can see he is controlling so how do i deal with breaking up with him as in see him and tell him that we can no longer be ?

You tell him that you cannot accept him for who he is, and that you're not happy, and you know he won't change and you can't expect him to change, because that wouldn't be fair or realistic. You tell him that you do love him, but not enough to put up with who he is. Tell him you don't trust him, and the only thing that this relationship has brought you is tears and doubt, so the only option is to break it off, since a relationship without trust can't work.

If he says he'll change, tell him that you know that's not possible, or realistic. He can't change, he is who he is, and he needs to find someone that can accept him for who he is. That's not you.

[Mahiya1212]

He will think I never loved him or trusted him which I always have even after he lied I told him it will be hard to trust him so a did my best so now he will say such as why didn't u tell me then? Am I being stupid leaving him or is his behaviour not loving?

[Wondergirl]

He will think i never loved him or trusted him which i always have even after he lied i told him it will be hard to trust him so a did my best so now he will say such as why dint u tell me then? Am i being stupid leaving him or is his behaviour not loving?

We KNOW he does not love you. His behavior is NOT loving.

He wants a weak woman whom he can play with like a toy, someone he can control and treat her any way he wishes. He has no interest in doing anything to make her happy.

[Alty]

He will think i never loved him or trusted him which i always have even after he lied i told him it will be hard to trust him so a did my best so now he will say such as why dint u tell me then? Am i being stupid leaving him or is his behaviour not loving?

You don't trust him. Why shouldn't he know that? It may not be his fault that you don't trust him, he may not have done anything wrong, but the bottom line is that you don't trust him. Read your question here. You don't trust him. That alone is enough to end this relationship.

Then you go on to say that he's controlling, he has anger issues. That's another reason to end this.

How many issues do you need to have with this man before you realize that the two of you can't be in a relationship together?

It doesn't matter what he thinks when you break up with him. He doesn't need to know the reason, he only needs to know it's over. The only one that can decide that it's over is you. After that you end it, and it's done. He doesn't need to know why.

How old are you?

[Mahiya1212]

You tell him that you cannot accept him for who he is, and that you're not happy, and you know he won't change and you can't expect him to change, because that wouldn't be fair or realistic. You tell him that you do love him, but not enough to put up with who he is. Tell him you don't trust him, and the only thing that this relationship has brought you is tears and doubt, so the only option is to break it off, since a relationship without trust can't work.

If he says he'll change, tell him that you know that's not possible, or realistic. He can't change, he is who he is, and he needs to find someone that can accept him for who he is. That's not you.

Should I tell him I do trust him in not cheating on me but I don't trust him to change his behaviour as it has give me a lot of pain even when he knew I would be crying e would leave me alone no text no call nothing until Later at nyt and ask how am feeling why does he do that if I'm not like that and he is in love with me a hope you can understand but its just took my life apart a start getting panic attacks and he just sits there saying he needs to go

[Wondergirl]

Should i tell him i do trust him in not cheating on me but i dont trust him to change his behaviour as it has give me alot of pain even when he knew i would be crying e would leave me alone no text no call nothing until Later at nyt and ask how am feeling why does he do that if im not like that and he is in love with me a hope u can understand but its just took my life apart a start getting panic attacks and he just sits there saying he needs to go

Say goodbye to him with no other conversation or discussion or apologies or texting or phone calls or emails. Goodbye. That's all. And don't get sucked back into the relationship with his pleas that he will do better. You know he will not do better.

[Alty]

Should i tell him i do trust him in not cheating on me but i dont trust him to change his behaviour as it has give me alot of pain even when he knew i would be crying e would leave me alone no text no call nothing until Later at nyt and ask how am feeling why does he do that if im not like that and he is in love with me a hope u can understand but its just took my life apart a start getting panic attacks and he just sits there saying he needs to go

You don't need to ask him why he does what he does, nor do you actually need to tell him how it makes you feel. You just need to end it, and walk away.

He does what he does because it's who he is. You asking him why would be like asking a fish why it lives in the water. It does it because it does it, because that's the way it is. Just like him.

He tells you he needs to go. So let him go.

[Mahiya1212]

You don't trust him. Why shouldn't he know that? It may not be his fault that you don't trust him, he may not have done anything wrong, but the bottom line is that you don't trust him. Read your question here. You don't trust him. That alone is enough to end this relationship.

Then you go on to say that he's controlling, he has anger issues. That's another reason to end this.

How many issues do you need to have with this man before you realize that the two of you can't be in a relationship together?

It doesn't matter what he thinks when you break up with him. He doesn't need to know the reason, he only needs to know it's over. The only one that can decide that it's over is you. After that you end it, and it's done. He doesn't need to know why.

How old are you?

I don't know why maybe being in this relationship I have took all the blame and for everything. I do trust him not to mess around but I don't trust him to treat me like a princess he only wants to meet , leave stay on his terms. I am 25 n he is 33

Say goodbye to him with no other conversation or discussion or apologies or texting or phone calls or emails. Goodbye. That's all. And don't get sucked back into the relationship with his pleas that he will do better. You know he will not do better.

Ok I won't get sucked in to the relationship and I want to make it clear to him I'm not stupid or he can control me so can you advise what to say on that party

[Alty]

I dont know why maybe being in this relationship i have took all the blame and for everything. I do trust him not to mess around but i dont trust him to treat me like a princess he only wants to meet , leave stay on his terms. I am 25 n he is 33

You don't trust him. You're fooling yourself if you think you do.

If you trusted him you wouldn't be asking about his ex and the fact that she's wearing a similar dress to the one he gave you. That's not trust. You don't trust him at all. You want to, you pretend to, but you don't.

If you want to be treated like a princess, I would suggest you start dating a prince.

Look, I said it before, and I'll say it again. We aren't the ones that have to decide to stay or go. You asked for our advice, we gave it to you. It's your choice whether you take that advice or not.

So you either stay with him and accept how he treats you, and stop complaining about it, or you leave because you don't like the way he treats you and you can't handle it. Those are your options. It's up to you to choose one.

Ok i wont get sucked in to the relationship and i want to make it clear to him im not stupid or he can control me so can u advise wat to say on that pary

Say "I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. Good luck, and good bye".

Then leave and go no contact.

Done and done.

[Mahiya1212]

Say "I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. Good luck, and good bye".

Then leave and go no contact.

Done and done.

Ok thanku very much for your advise just need to know something is it really my fault I don't trust him or his actions from what I haw told you has made me feel like this is no healthy relationship

[Alty]

Ok thanku very much for ur advise just need to know something is it really my fault i dont trust him or his actions from what i haw told u has made me feel like this is no healthy relationship

I don't know how to answer this.

Is it your fault that you don't trust him? Well, trust is earned. If he didn't earn it, then why should you trust him? But, I don't know you well enough to determine if you're just a jealous person, have trust issues, see deception in everyone. Most of the people I've met that don't trust their partner, have trust issues, and their partner isn't to blame at all. So I really can't tell you if it's your fault or not.

Let me put it this way. If he isn't trustworthy, then no, it's not your fault that you don't trust him. If you don't trust him because you have issues with trust, then yes, it's your fault that you don't trust him. I don't know you well enough to tell you which category you fit into.

Either way, this is not a healthy relationship. He makes you cry, he doesn't communicate with you, when things get tough or you try to communicate, he walks away and ignores you. That's not a relationship that has any hope of growing and thriving.

You really are better of without him.

[Mahiya1212]

I don't know how to answer this.

Is it your fault that you don't trust him? Well, trust is earned. If he didn't earn it, then why should you trust him? But, I don't know you well enough to determine if you're just a jealous person, have trust issues, see deception in everyone. Most of the people I've met that don't trust their partner, have trust issues, and their partner isn't to blame at all. So I really can't tell you if it's your fault or not.

Let me put it this way. If he isn't trustworthy, then no, it's not your fault that you don't trust him. If you don't trust him because you have issues with trust, then yes, it's your fault that you don't trust him. I don't know you well enough to tell you which category you fit into.

Either way, this is not a healthy relationship. He makes you cry, he doesn't communicate with you, when things get tough or you try to communicate, he walks away and ignores you. That's not a relationship that has any hope of growing and thriving.

You really are better of without him.

Honestly I am not a jealous type of person I think your right trust is earnes he lied with an issues of a girl and then I went back to him not relising how he commuicates and if he was to be trusted faithfully then he would not make me cry or walk away from me because then natrually he would feel the remorse that I gave him a chane after such pain he give me and e just went from bad to worse. And if after this long he can't decide to treat me right then its not right to stay in the relationship. I once was breaking it off with him on his birthday as there waa an issue from his end and after that time on numerous occasions I tried to makit up to him at da moment he would say its so nice but occasionally he has said I hurt him and he can never forget it no matter how much I made up for it every time he ant meet up or something he says hel makit it up2 me but that time never comes and he says it's the way his life is. He has said to me many times am anything but stupid and I think maybe he is being mean and distant because e knows I catch him on his lies or broken promises

[Alty]

It really doesn't matter what he's done, or why he's done it, or why you stayed. What matters is what you do now. So you have to make a choice. Stay or go. That's your choice to make.

Good luck. :)

[Mahiya1212]

It really doesn't matter what he's done, or why he's done it, or why you stayed. What matters is what you do now. So you have to make a choice. Stay or go. That's your choice to make.

Good luck. :)

Yes I understand thanku for helping me make a choice that is right for me I was just telling you that so that it can be declared a haven't been wrong about breaking it of and been dragged tight in there to feel this way and he has maniuplated me I think it will be best for him too

[Alty]

Yes i understand thanku for helping me make a choice that is right for me i was just telling you that so that it can be declared a havnt been wrong abt breaking it of and jus been dragged tight in there to feel this way n he has maniuplated me i think it will be best for him too

There is no right and wrong when it comes to breaking up a relationship. It's all about how you or the other person feels. You don't need to justify your decision. It is what it is.

Good luck to you.

[Mahiya1212]

Hi guys last night he contacted me saying he wanted to facetime but I was busy and he said when I could when I told him he said if I could earlier than the time and I said no, he then said just say you don't want to and that hel wait 15 if not he knows its not important so I said why are you even waiting when your not going to wait for the time am free he said gundnyt and that is not in the mood to argue so I said to him to stop pointing the finger when he can't compromise he has not text bck or called me I don't know if I should contact him and say its better to stay away from me than to ignore me and contact me when you want?