[shatteredx3]

I also found out she is only 16

[WisperWill70]

That alone should trigger your "leave" intuitions! --- Unless you want to end up seeing him on "To Catch a Predator" (Google if you don't know what that is)

He created this situation, and will do it again and again. Time to go. If he acts on these impulses... he's going to go to JAIL.

You deserve better than that!

[shatteredx3]

That alone should trigger your "leave" intuitions! --- Unless you want to end up seeing him on "To Catch a Predator" (Google if you don't know what that is)

He created this situation, and will do it again and again. Time to go. If he acts on these impulses... he's going to go to JAIL.

You deserve better than that!

Yea I told him about that and he's saying he's not talking to her. And she said she hasn't been talking to him because she can't get in contact. So I'm keeping an eye out right now on him she's the only other girl that I know of. But yes I will leave him if something else comes up.

[shatteredx3]

So I recently posted on here about how my fiancée lied and chatting with these girls online. And I found out he was talking to two other girls and found pics and dirty emails. These girls were in their teens and we are both 21. I just moved in with him in February and starting to regret it because if I were to leave I don't know where to go. After all this happened he tried to win me back by paying all his attention to me and taking me out and sweet talking like men do. And it all dies down and he forgets about it and he expects me to just get over it because he can easily get over it because he doesn't know how I feel. He expects me to trust him again and that's just hard to do with someone that can't even commit to me. Everyday I just can't stop thinking about how stupid I am for leaving my family and everything else basically giving up my life and starting fresh for someone who did me dirty. I just need some advice on what I should do I feel like he's taking me for granted.

[Wondergirl]

I merged your two threads because it's important for responders to be able to easily find and read the background in this situation.

Have you gotten any input from friends or family?

Are you emotionally ready to break away from him? If not, what will it take?

[talaniman]

He may well be taking you for granted as you say, but are you still there because you have no where else to go? That's the obstacle you have to overcome, being independent, and having other options that don't include him.

[shatteredx3]

I merged your two threads because it's important for responders to be able to easily find and read the background in this situation.

Have you gotten any input from friends or family?

Are you emotionally ready to break away from him? If not, what will it take?

Thank you. And I really done talk to my family and I don't have any friends they all drifted away. So I'm just stuck here trying to find some friends here. The reason I am still with him because I love him and I'm scared to leave because then I'll end up regretting it. He says he will stop and I believe he has because he deleted all the females from his phone and gave his password to his email. And he said his reason for doing all that was because he was scared of losing me. But I still feel insecure and I just want to trust him again I just feel like he's still doing it with another email an

[Wondergirl]

It's time to set some boundaries and give time limits.

Can you list any that will work for you to make you feel more comfortable/secure and assured of his love? Let's pull this together first before you talk with him.

[shatteredx3]

It's time to set some boundaries and give time limits.

Can you list any that will work for you to make you feel more comfortable/secure and assured of his love? Let's pull this together first before you talk with him.

I honestly don't know. I mean recently the girl he was talking to that I found out about sent him a video and he responded and he was saying he wanted her and that the video was sexy. This was like a month ago. So I don't know why he bothered because I still have his password to that email and that's why I haven't let my guard down because as,long as the girl emails him he thinks it's OK and not his fault. And he keeps saying if I let him have his email back and trust him it won't happen but I don't believe it he will just go back to his ways.

[Wondergirl]

Don't forget -- you are not his mother (or his jailer). You should not have to monitor his behavior. If there is little or no trust, there is no relationship.

[shatteredx3]

He may well be taking you for granted as you say, but are you still there because you have no where else to go? Thats the obstacle you have to overcome, being independent, and having other options that don't include him.

No I am still here because I love him and he hasn't physically cheated on me since we officially gotten back together. I believe he still loves me but it seems like he's getting tired or bored of me and talking to other girls online keeps him from physically cheating. And these girls live far away from us so I think this is why he did it but it makes no sense to talk to other girls online to make him happy when he has me whenever he wants.

[shatteredx3]

Don't forget -- you are not his mother (or his jailer). You should not have to monitor his behavior. If there is little or no trust, there is no relationship.

Yea I know before all this happened I never checked his phone or emails I just went by what he said and believed him. Even after that I didn't ask for his passwords he offered so that he can prove to me and it made me curious because the way he's been acting and responding to me. For example this girl calls him in the middle of the night or early morning and he thinks I'm asleep and I heard every word. I heard him say I love you and when I woke up I asked him who he's talking to he hung up the phone. Then he told me it's someone he works with asking if they could work for him and I just knew it was a lie because he had a Facebook account that I did not know of and it said he was in a relationship with another girl. It's not like I check his emails everyday . I haven't checked it in a month I'm just trying to learn to trust him again and not want to check his emails or anything but after all this I don't know how I will ever trust him again even though I love him

[Wondergirl]

I certainly don't trust him. I don't know why you would in light of his phone and FB contacts and conversations.

[shatteredx3]

I certainly don't trust him. I don't know why you would in light of his phone and FB contacts and conversations.

The only reason I haven't left him is because all the girls I found out were all girls he found online. I never had a problem with him actually cheating because I think talking to girls online keeps him from actually cheating for real and I will actually leave him if I found out he was seeing another girl. But he still has no right to do that.

[Wondergirl]

The only reason I haven't left him is because all the girls I found out were all girls he found online. I never had a problem with him actually cheating because I think talking to girls online keeps him from actually cheating for real and I will actually leave him if I found out he was seeing another girl. But he still has no right to do that.

Oh, my -- the things we tell ourselves to excuse bad behavior.

[shatteredx3]

Oh, my -- the things we tell ourselves to excuse bad behavior.

I know exactly.. But it's true he's not a bad person but he's got some issues with talking to people online don't know what it is.

[Wondergirl]

he's got some issues with talking to people online don't know what it is.

And that's okay with you.

[shatteredx3]

And that's okay with you.

No it's not OK with me. It's just hard to leave a relationship that I've been in for a long time especially over that.

[Wondergirl]

No it's not ok with me. it's just hard to leave a relationship that I've been in for a long time especially over that.

So what will it take to end the relationship?

(Where in NJ are you from?)

[shatteredx3]

So what will it take to end the relationship?

(Where in NJ are you from?)

The only way I would end it is if he physically cheated on me. And it's kind of hard for him