[stepmomommy]

You refuse to understand this despite several people telling you the same thing. One more time; Your boyfriend having 100% custody does NOT mean she has no rights. It does mean, she would have to go to court to prove she has changed and to exercise her rights. But it doesn't mean she doesn't have any.

This also means she has to be contacted to approve the adoption. It doesn't mean she will be able to stop it if she refuses, but it just makes it a bit more complicated.

Look we are on your side. We think you are a very good person for caring for your boyfriend's child and wanting to adopt. We think that's great and want it to go through. But you have to understand that you have adhere to the law in doing so. You have make the adoption airtight legally. And we are trying to get you to understand what that involves.

OK then thank you, I understand, she will not aprove of another female adopting him, not just me be no one, even though she is unfit, she will be difficult because that's how she is, she prob wouldn't even go to court anyway, sure she has warrants out, well I guess it really don't matter that I can't adopt him or won't be able too, because we 3 are a family, and I'll always be here for him no matter what, whether I adopted him, I'm more of a mother to him than her or anyone else ever has been. That's OK, he's still my stepson, and I will always look at him and treat him as if he were my own son. Thanks again.

[EmberStudios]

Yes I am English.
And I do know a few American lawyers, so I am not completely wrong.

Okay, I am from TN as well. Custody and parental rights are two totally different things. It's like comparing apples to oranges. Just because he has custody doesn't mean that the mother doesn't have rights when it comes to certain things like making medical decisions in an emergent situation such as life saving situations for example.

Also, in TN, you must be married for at least a year for a court to approve an adoption. You see, a court is not going to approve something so committed as an adoption of a child if you and your significant other are not committed enough to marry each other.



I understand you are in England, however this is in the USA and very few places will grant an adoption unless there is a marriage that has lasted a year or more first. It has nothing to do with a "profound and loving relationship" or "enthusiasm to support him."

How can you recommend a "few good Lawyers" if you are in England and the OP is in the USA?

[JudyKayTee]

If you can prove a lasting relationship with your boyfriend, as well as having a profound and loving relationship with his son, as well as enthusiasm to support him, yes. I can recommend a few good Lawyers if you need any. How long have you known him? What are your reasons for adopting him? Think through these questions before answering, a child is a huge and lasting responsibility!
All the best of luck x

I realize you have come back and posted you are not incorrect - you do know Attorneys in the US who can get this adoption accomplished for an unmarried couple when the birth mother will not consent.

You ARE "completely wrong." I am not aware of any Attorney who can trump the State Law. The Laws are in place for a reason. I stated that reason.

AMHD does not allow off the board contact and/or professional recommendations.

Please - when you post on the legal Boards make sure you are correct and aren't giving false hope or downright incorrect/illegal advice.

[AK lawyer]

... yes. I can recommend a few good Lawyers if you need any. ...

Don't do that. To do so would be, as I understand it, a violation of this forum's rules against advertizing, giving out personal contact details, etc.

[EmberStudios]

Don't worry, she doesn't need one x

[stepmomommy]

Don't worry, she doesn't need one x

No I guess I don't, just wanted to find out what other people know about situation that's all, I'm not going to pursue anything to adopt him, too many people have stated she has rights and she would have a say so or whatever so I'll just leave it alone. Im still going to be his mommy anyway. Thank you

[JudyKayTee]

Don't do that. To do so would be, as I understand it, a violation of this forum's rules against advertizing, giving out personal contact details, etc.

Yes, you are correct - it's against policy. Too bad no one else actually reads the policy before posting. Would save everyone a lot of time and trouble.

[Fr_Chuck]

Don't worry, she doesn't need one x

It is obvious from your answers you have no idea of US law. And so you know some attorneys I know a rocket scientist but would not start to tell you how rockets are made.

Your answers are very wrong and can be harmful legally if followed, We pride ourselves on very legally based answers. Please do not post on legal boards unless you have the knowledge from them.

[ScottGem]

ok then thank you, i understand, she will not aprove of another female adopting him, not just me be noone, even tho she is unfit, she will be difficult because thats how she is, she prob wouldnt even go to court anyway, sure she has warrants out, well i guess it really dont matter that i can't adopt him or wont be able too, because we 3 are a family, and i'll always be here for him no matter what, whether or not i adopted him, im more of a mother to him than her or anyone else ever has been. Thats ok, he's still my stepson, and i will always look at him and treat him as if he were my own son. thanks again.

First, I'm sure you are a family and that you are more of a mother to him than she has ever been. But I don't get where you think you won't be able to adopt. We've been trying to tell you that the likelihood is that the courts WILL approve an adoption as long as you do it right. If she is properly served and does not show up, the courts will grant it. Even if she DOES show up and EVEN if she refuses to allow the adoption, I think the courts will approve it as long as you can show that she's unfit and that you are a family.

No I guess I dont, just wanted to find out what other ppl know bout situation thats all, im not gonna pursue anything to adopt him, too many ppl have stated she has rights and she would have a say so or whatever so i'll just leave it alone. Im still gonna be his mommy anyway. thank you

So please don't despair here. Get yourself married, and start shopping for an attorney. The attorney will tell you what you have to do to get this through. I'm confident that if you follow the attorney's advice it will work out.

[ScottGem]

Yes I am English.
And I do know a few American lawyers, so I am not completely wrong.

That's not where we are saying you were wrong. You implied that as long as she was in a long term living relationship she could adopt. Where the law says different.

I'm bothered that you came back to argue the point. That's not what we are about here. We all make mistakes and we can cut you some slack since you are new. So the better reaction is to apologize, say you understand and move on.

[Fr_Chuck]

I will agree with Scott, even if she will not sign her rights over, it is very possible that the courts will allow the adoption anyway, And a good attorney often can get the other party to sign the rights away to make it easier at times.

You do want the adoption since it gives you rights to the kids if your husband would die.

[EmberStudios]

That's not where we are saying you were wrong. You implied that as long as she was in a long term living relationship she could adopt. Where the law says different.

I'm bothered that you came back to argue the point. That's not what we are about here. We all make mistakes and we can cut you some slack since you are new. So the better reaction is to apologize, say you understand and move on.

I apologize, I do not know the laws in America, you are right.I haven't studied law either, I am merely commenting from what I know to be true from situations I have seen myself. I can clearly see you know better than me what is going on and I hope you can help this woman how ever you can.