[afisherofmen]

My friends are wonderful, its just that our friendship is just beginning and I don't want to toss my life onto them, and yes I do have classes with them and they are apart of my life, but I chose them as my friends because there truly good people and we all are very similer and have fun together. As for my job, I work as a secretary assistant, its nice because I get to make my own hours, but I really don't have time to take on another job with all the classes I'm taking, but thank you if I have some free time, mabye I'll look into a part time job like the one you sugjested. As for the gym, I also do that, though mabye I'll go more now.

[afisherofmen]

Well I guess now this leads me into another question, about the guy I love, what should I do with him? He's such an amazing person, and he can be a great friend, and he wanted to still be my friend so should I contact him still? Or should I wait for him to call me, because that's what I've been doing and he called me when he went to Portland (a few days ago), but it was late and I was asleep so I didn't answer and he hasn't called me sense. Its hard, we've talked on the phone every night for so long that Its broken my sleeping habit not talking to him. Also we usually see each other once every weekend, should I stop that too? Or should I wait for him to try to make the plans? Just what should I do?

[talaniman]

Just as you need time, he does to probably.

[talaniman]

disagrees: that doesn't tell me anything, it sounds straight from a fortune cookie

Young lady I don't mind a disagreement, but spare me the insults and how about a little respect?

[afisherofmen]

Hahaha sorry, I didn't mean to offend TOO much

[Skell]

If I could rate you tal I would.

That answer although sounding quite simple afisherofmen, is all you really need to hear. Think about it!

[Skell]

Perhaps such and attitude is why you find yourself feeling lonely!

[afisherofmen]

Oh for goodness sake

[LBP]

Tal was being very straightforward with his advice. He said you two aren't good for one another, so not talking to him would be for the best right now.

I don't know if I agree with him or not, and I can certainly sympathize with wanting to voice my complaints, but it's not like he's being opaque.

We have no idea why your guy friend broke up with you or rather you with him, other than that he is currently with someone else. We have no idea why you're alone. No idea why family won't talk to you and no real notion why your afraid of your best friend getting the wrong idea. There's a good way to deal with that. Tell him flatly that you have no interest - assuming he really is your best friend, he'll be able to accept that.

So, from all that I'm NOT seeing, I can assume there are some issues at work here! What do you have in your life other than your job? What are these problems that you need to have someone to talk about?

It sounds like you have some things to deal with. You don't want to see a counselor, you don't want to talk to your group of friends, you don't want to talk to your parents, you don't want to talk to your best friend, and you turn away the advice that's been given you here. What are you looking for, exactly? You're not even going to call back this 'guy you love,' despite saying that you'd like to talk to him. That may or may not be a good idea, it's hard to say without the context of your parting.

So, what do I think, after looking at all you've shared? I think it sounds like you seem to avoid solutions for fear of complication. You say you want someone to talk to, but then you also say you're an independent person who can take care of herself.

I'd say, talk to your best friend. If he really is that, there shouldn't be a problem, especially if you can be honest with him. He's not a kid, is he? I'm sure he can deal with disapointment, assuming that you haven't done anything like sleep with him or otherwise lead him on in the recent past. THEN things may be complicated.

If that's the case, well... Sounds like you definitely need to look at yourself and ask how it got to be this way! You can't have gone all through life with absolutely no one to turn to... Have you really been that afraid of being hurt?

[Teaching]

I think looking at oneself is really important inorder to find solutions. I find meditation really helps if you are looking for things to be different in your life. The fact that you are on this thread - you are not alone. I can see how many people are reaching out to help you.

[Allheart]

Afish -

I hope today finds you in better spirits. I completely understand you are sad and in pain.
Being sad - Understandable... Feeling alone... Understandable.

Being disrespectfull is never understandable and is never acceptable nor attractive. Ever.
Especially, when very good people, who don't even know you, care enough to try and help.

You first may want to start with self-respect and self-love. Forget, for the moment trying to get it from other places, or other people, and start with yourself.

A helping hand and a listening ear will always be here. However, nothing saddens my heart more to see a young lady, who I supsect has great potential, demonstrate disrespect. There is not an excuse under the sun for it.

We all make mistakes and have bad days, it's how we decide and choose to correct the mistakes and learn from them that dictates how much personal growth and eventual happiness we achieve.

For your own sake, I honestly hope you choose a better way to deal with your pain and sadness and be the young lady you know you can be.

Don't let past pain become a part of you. Let it help you grow, and learn and help you to be compassionte to others who may also be in pain.

[straw_berry]

Being alone allows you to appreciate how special some people really are. Meaning, when you do find people you connect with, you will be more grateful.