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    fonnie's Avatar
    fonnie Posts: 13, Reputation: 3
    New Member
     
    #21

    Oct 16, 2011, 02:56 PM
    Yes, I know it was a not a real-life relationship, but after such a long time you'd still expect that someone could at least treat you normally. But obviously it is true, if someone makes you sad, then it is not worth it.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #22

    Oct 16, 2011, 03:12 PM
    "you'd still expect that someone could at least treat you normally"
    I would hope so.

    That's the whole point.

    YOUR expectations.

    As soon as you remove this problem, you can move on.
    Chalk this up to a past lesson.

    Actions speak louder than words.
    fonnie's Avatar
    fonnie Posts: 13, Reputation: 3
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    #23

    Oct 17, 2011, 01:50 PM
    You're right, it is just that I just always try to believe that if you treat people well, they will treat you the same or at least with respect, although this is certainly naïve. With her, I just really believed that she was a decent and good person with courteousy, I guess sometimes we can be truly mistaken in people.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #24

    Oct 17, 2011, 01:54 PM
    We make mistakes in figuring people out, especially when feelings get in the way of facts, but once we get those facts, we have to be able to make adjustments based on those facts, and not just our own feelings.

    Some times that's not so easy, and it sucks for a while. But we still have to do it for our own well being.
    fonnie's Avatar
    fonnie Posts: 13, Reputation: 3
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    #25

    Oct 17, 2011, 02:22 PM
    Very well spoken. I totally agree, my mind was just clouded. When we were still communicating, my family and friends, like you guys here, often told me that I deserved better and that I should ignore her, but I was always trying to find excuses to explain her behavior and even putting the blame on myself, telling myself that I was just too needy which I probably was... but in the end I sincerely apologized to her and if she breaks off whatever relationship we had over something like this, then I guess it says a lot about her as well.

    She sometimes really treated me very well, or rather, said very sweet things to me that just made me feel very appreciated as a person. Even then I knew that some of the things that she said were just not normal to say, but at that moment you just let it all pass. It was during moments when she did not treat me well, that I always thought of everything that was good in her and I guess it is why I accepted so much.


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