[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...me-589251.html

Same guy??

[Rhia1978]

Talaniman - No, no not the same guy lol! I am still recovering from my ex but like this new boy far far more than my ex actually and I know this isn't a rebound. However since I was so badly burnt.. am freaking out a bit with the amount I feel for him so quickly. I have never fallen for a guy at first sight till now!

Hi Wondergirl & Altenweg,

He was over for dinner last Thursday and in fact spent entire Friday and Saturday morning with me. It went very well :) I did blurt out what my friend had told me about him and he was livid telling me he didn’t want to meet her again. He told me he was being affectionate since she’s my friend. I told him I knew it was a faux pas to text him I missed him but he told me he had been sleeping off the big weekend, had seen the text but forgotten once he woke up. He said he had not minded it at all since it was the truth. Also told me he really likes me. On Friday he took me out to dinner and even though I wanted us to split the bills he only allowed me to pay the tip. I was quite taken aback by this actually since he didn’t need to wine and dine me while he is looking for work. I know he’s really worried about it but didn’t once allow it affect our time together. I haven’t heard from him since he we saw each other off on Saturday around mid-day but I am not anxious like I was before. Yes I miss him and want to text him but I know texting costs money and I don’t want to have to deal with me while he’s looking for work so desperately.

I am going overseas soon – less than a month and I did ask him if he’s going to be around once I get back 2 months later. I can’t remember what he said but I somehow don’t think he’s the cheating kind. If anything since I am going to Dublin quite coincidentally, he told me he’d contact a close friend of his to guide me and my friend around. He also wants me to visit him town which is around an hour away from Dublin. I liked him saying this – especially when he said he was jealous I was going there – he’s missing home.

As much as I want to give myself permission to fall in love (I know am on the brink and I’ve never warmed up to a guy before 2/3 months, leave alone fall in love so fast), the unpredictability of the future is holding me back. What if he goes back to Ireland when his visa expires, what if he doesn’t find a job and is forced to go somewhere else – I cannot bring myself to tell myself ‘cross the bridge when you get to it’ since I know I really want to be with him.

I am such a hopeless romantic that I cannot help seeing the rainbows – I don’t know any other way to be but it also leaves me open to being terribly hurt.

We spoke about so much – religion, marriage, movies, music, people, aspirations, food, his school days. Or maybe I was prying. Anyway the conversation was effortless (from my point of view) and he didn’t hold back. Maybe he’s holding back since he knows he won’t be with me for too long.

I have been strongly advised by a friend NOT to mother him with his career since I had done that in the past and distanced my ex – my help somehow amplified his insecurities and he broke up with me. I have told this to Gerry and he said he didn’t want me to worry about him. But I can see it in his eyes – he so needs to find a job since it’s eating him up inside – I feel helpless – between a rock and a hard place.

Anyway I believe the 2 of you that Cancerians are very loyal – from our discussions it was evident and I know he doesn’t have the time to juggle another girlfriend.

So I just wanted to let the two of you know. I now realise I freaked out unnecessarily last week. ‘Am glad I listened to your advise and not only initiated contact but also called him over for dinner. It was a lovely romantic time we had together – it was quality time.

So thank you very very much! I hope I only have good news for you’ll in the future :)

Wondergirl - so if you were my aunt, what would you tell me :)

[Wondergirl]

Wondergirl - so if you were my aunt, what would you tell me :)

I'd tell you I married a Cancerian and would advise you to stay busy with your own life so that you have fun and exciting things to tell him when you see him.

[talaniman]

Because you have intense feelings how do you know he isn't a rebound? It isn't lust? Or that you have done what you have never done before, fall in love quickly.

More fun to take your time, and find out who this guy is, and what your feelings are about. What's the hurry?? Take time to unconfuse yourself.

[Rhia1978]

Wondergirl - thanks :) You are right! I do have a very very full social life - something that happened as a result of my last breakup. This entire weekend I've been busy with friends and the next few weekends will be the same - of course after that am off overseas. I've never been called boring - should not be a problem to tell him interesting things. But I hope he doesn't feel jealous. With my last boyfriend it caused an issue - but then people are different and I shouldn't compare!

Talaniman - I know he's not a rebound because I've already had the rebound lol! I am friends with my last boyfriend... and yes he was a rebound from the bad breakup before. So am sure Gerry's not a rebound. Besides I wasn't even looking to date with my overseas trip so close. I had decided I needed a break from men... and out of the blue he appeared and took be completely by surprise! You are right - there is no hurry - just that I can't get enough of him lol! Sorry am just so happy to have met him lol!