[Vakantie]

To keep me around.. or to make it a little less hard for myself? Something like that?

[Vakantie]

Yes it actually is an obsession.. Just to make one thing sure I'm not forcing her to be friends with me. We both agreed that we need more time to see if that's actually possible. And yes maybe my expectations were a bit fast with just a couple of days/weeks. It's getting clear to me that that just isn't possible.

The building without her is going pretty well. I'm in the gym a lot (I already did that, but now I'm there 2 times a day), practicing other sports, talking with my friends much more(not about her, but just funny and great conversations) and for school the next 5 weeks are going to be really important so I'll be busy with that too!

One question we go to the same gym, and at some days we're doing the same group work out. What to do with that? Just a small chat like "Hey, how are you doing?'' and that's it.

I think I'm on the right track and you all help me out so much, so thanks for that!

[Wondergirl]

I find it just annoying that she's so quickly 'with' someone else.

That's because she's so quickly over you -- and has been for a while. You do know why she tells you she loves you, right?

To keep me around

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssss.

or to make it a little less hard for myself?

Nooooooooooooooooooo.

[Vakantie]

Ok OK. Well I'm not around anymore. You people also helped me out so much. Made everything very clear to me! Now just getting on with my life without her. I know sometimes it's going to be hard, but I need to stay strong!
And I'll try to let go my feelings about being friends with her, it's just impossible.

I'll keep you updated and I'm making some great progress.

[Wondergirl]

Report in every day. Thank you.

[Vakantie]

Ok here I am again, today is a tough day for me! The fact that she's probably going to spend the evening/night with that guy is constantly in me head. Really annoying I'm seeing all these pictures about those 2 what I really don't want to see lol.

Today I've worked out in the morning, went to school and now I'm back home again and it's going to be a really long day. I'm going to meet a friend of my in a couple of hours so I'm happy with that. What I don't like is the fact that I don't have anything to do for tonight. And I really want to know if she's home or she's with that guy. So it will be really hard for me not to call her. But I know that if I do call her I'll be dissapointed in every way. 1) in myself that I broke NC. 2) She won't pick up the phone and I'll be overthinking everything 3) She picks up the phone and tells me she's not home or even worse she tells me that she's with him (and that is one thing I really don't want to know!) 4) She picks up the phone and is annoyed that I called her.

So I'm really struggling not to call her, but I'll try my best and keep you updated how today went.

[amicon]

Stop getting all these updates on what she might or might not be doing!

And find something to do this evening-and don't break NC!!

[Wondergirl]

Do not contact her in any way. She has become your "white bear."

Do not disappoint us!!

[Vakantie]

I've decided I'll go for a run this evening(leaving my phone at home so I won't be tempted te contact her), then going to watch sports on the telly. Also have to do a little bit of schoolwork so that's what I'm going to do. I'll try to stop on these updates about her, but it's in my head almost every single time. I have to stop thinking about her, because it's about ME and getting MY life back to normal!

[Vakantie]

Thanks, reading this kind of comments really helps me not to contact her! I know it's silly but sometimes I just have to hear/read it again. I will NOT contact her tonight and I will not dissapoint you nor myself!

[Wondergirl]

I will NOT contact her tonight and I will not dissapoint you nor myself!

We will be your sponsor, like you're in Alcoholics Anonymous. If you feel the need to partake, contact us. I or another of your sponsors will be here to talk you down.

[talaniman]

Hit the library to study, that gets you out of the house. Need groceries, go get a can of peas, or a few ears of corn, and talk to other people. When you sit alone, thinking of her, get up and clean that mess in your closet, polish your shoes(?), do the dishes, clean the bathroom, any thing that needs doing, do it, just look around you. In this way you distract yourself, and make new habits and routines, for your brain to focus on.

Once you find other people to talk to, and interact with, you change your thoughts, and actions, with different people, places, and things.

The key is to stick with it, and make it easier on yourself. So get busy, no excuses.

[Just Looking]

A few more ideas:

I had a couple of friends who I could always call and knew they would distract my mind.

Do something active. I played racquetball, for one. It did two things for me - one was to reduce my anxiety as I hit that little blue ball as hard as I could; the second was that I was having so much fun I was laughing and really enjoying myself. I realized how much more fun that was than worrying about a relationship that was over.

Have a list of things you can do when you start feeling weak.

Need to get out of the house - go see a movie.

When I needed to do something and it was too late to go out or call anyone, I'd read threads in here. I found some that always lifted me up and gave me things to think about (Thank you vanheart - again).

I always felt that having a plan kept me on my plan. I knew where I wanted to be in my life and it wasn't where I was. I'm there now, though. You have to take it a day at a time, and keep making forward progress.

[Vakantie]

Thank you you said some nice things to do to distract my mind. Now I'm going outside to play basketball. Dunk it a couple of times to get rid of my frustrations and just having fun.

The Hangover 2 is almost out over here, so I'll go that movie with a couple of friends and have a great time.

Thanks!

[Just Looking]

Sounds perfect.

I just saw the new Pirates movie, and of course there is "Bridesmaids". Well, maybe not... :)

You seem to have a good attitude. That is going to help so much.

[Vakantie]

Well I haven't called her today! So yay for me! It was really tough but I didn't want to dissapoint you who are helping me. Besides that I really didn't want to dissapoint myself! (like I've said before, I can only dissapoint myself by calling her. First off all that I broke the NC, that she wouldn't want to talk to me, or she's with that guy) So I'm actually pretty happy about today :)

Now I'm going to watch an hour long episode on the telly and I'm straight of to bed! Thank you all for the help otherwise I probably would have broken NC today!

Tomorrow my day is pretty packed with activities. First I have to do some schoolwork, then I have to go to school, dinner, going to watch some sports, going to the gym and then to bed again.

Thursday will be a different story, but I'm doing this on a daily basis.. so I don't have to worry about that atm.

Again thank you all!

[Wondergirl]

Don't slack off. I'm watching you.

You really, really don't want to disappoint me, do you?

Glad today was successful. One day at a time...

[Vakantie]

No I really don't want to dissapoint you nor the others who are helping me. You are giving me your time and have given me so much support and that is helping me so much. I'm really happy with that otherwise I still would have been crying, calling, begging everyday.

You give me the info that I NEED to hear, not what I want to hear. That is what I need and how I can get totally over her. So again, thank you! :)

[Wondergirl]

You're welcome.

Enjoy the day tomorrow. We'll be here waiting for your report. :D

[Vakantie]

Ok today was a tough day. Really tough. A real setback in my progress actually. I know this was bound to happen, but I feel really bad. Going to bed right now and hopefully I'm feeling better tomorrow! :)