[southamerica]

Wow, you took offense to some friendly advice pretty quickly there! No worries, you have your relationship the way you wish. After your explanation, I have a clearer picture now about how things are working for you... and I truly wish you the best of luck, you need it!

By the by, I'm a girl. I might know a thing or two about what girls want. Like I said, it was just a suggestion.

[CravenMorhead]

...

I took offence to nothing. Just provided an alternate view point. People will live as they want to live regardless of what they're told by other people.

[southamerica]

....

I took offence to nothing. Just provided an alternate view point. People will live as they want to live regardless of what they're told by other people.

Sorry, I was responding to the OP. He was pretty offended when I suggested he share that part of him with his lady (granted, I think he thought I meant "share EVERYTHING with her!"... I only meant include her in fantasies once in a while). I couldn't quote him though because he used the reply feature instead of the answer feature.

Your post was really good, I enjoyed reading it!

[smoothy]

Heck... I don't have to hide it from my wife. She knows she has me... not some bimbo that has a picture of video on the internet I'll never meet... and in many cases would never want to anyway.

She knows what floats my boat... and I know what floats hers. Neither of us are touchy about it... and neither of us cheat.

Heck... who wants to have to learn to deal with and live with someone else's pet peaves and idiosyncracies anyway. And every new person has their own.

[FrankenFraud]

SA, I took no offense to /how you said it. If you took it that way I apologize.I know you had good intentions.Let me throw this Lil' scenario into the overall picture.A buddy of mine gave me a deck of nudie playing cards well before I met this woman.I laughed & looked through the deck well.. because I am a red-blooded heterosexual male&proud of it-LOL!Anyway I stuck them into the back drawer of an old desk I had & forgot all about.2 years later,she came into my life.Anyway,1 day I was cleaning out that old desk & came across the cards.I said "oops, better dump these!" And I did right-into the bottom of a full trash can.To wrap this up,she found them & holy $hit did she have a fit! Ditto for a Cd Rom of the Pamela Anderson/Bret Micheals sex tape that someone had given me a year earlier. You'd think I was humping her cousin. Btw, she wasn't made uncomfortable going to see the Chipendales in the least-she had fun. Anyway, do me a small favor, watch that movie I mentioned. Cheers

[southamerica]

Are... are you comparing bestiality to an occasional enjoyment in porn? Haha, I haven't seen the movie, I just looked up a brief synopsis and the thought made me laugh.

Honesty is my policy and it is my boyfriend's as well. It works very well for us, but neither of us would blink an eye at a nudie deck. So, good luck again!

[FrankenFraud]

Again, I wasn't "offended". And I had a pretty good idea what you meant by sharing things with her. I do if she shows an interest, which she generally doesn't-oh well! However, this one particular facet of my life WOULD cause a Tsunami of pure $hit to rain down upon me that would dwarf what hit poor ole' Japan. Btw, did I mention her father is a Nazarene preacher? I reiterate, I didn't/don't like Billy Clinton as a President (or his old lady), but I do like Billy's phrase/philosophy of "don't ask don't tell." And I do use it frequently in regards to MINOR issues. Her mother once said regarding raising kids, "pick your battles.' I incorporate that bit of sage advise in any & all my relationships. Again, no hard feelings.

[southamerica]

I am getting a clearer picture now. I could have stuck with the "no-I don't think it's cheating"... but I gave more advice because it's what I do lol.

So, she doesn't know about it then? I was under the impression she did and it was a big problem (hence my "you should involve her" advice). You know her better than I do, and if you have to hide it, unfortunate as that sounds to me, then you have to hide it. No two relationships are alike!

[FrankenFraud]

You're a lucky man! I have relegated myself to the philosophy of "pick your battles."
And with this particular issue, I would not win, even if I was Perry Mason. I was just curious what other women thought about the issue.

[excon]

Ladies: If your man watches porn do YOU consider it "cheating?"

Hello F:

No, but I think masturbating is cheating... Do you cheat/whack off? I'll bet you do.

excon

[FrankenFraud]

Ummm... 1) Hopefully you didn't just ruin the movie or put off someone from watching it because "bestiality" isn't what the movie is about at all. 2) No comparison between bestiality & watching "regular" porn @ all. 3) Watch the film in its' entirety & get back with us/me. It's not gross because nothing is ever shown. But I would be very interested in hearing what you have to say about what the movie is REALLY about & your solution to the poor girl's dilemma.

[southamerica]

Ummm... 1) Hopefully you didn't just ruin the movie or put off someone from watching it because "bestiality" isn't what the movie is about at all. 2) No comparison between bestiality & watching "regular" porn @ all. 3) Watch the film in its' entirety & get back with us/me. It's not gross because nothing is ever shown. But I would be very interested in hearing what you have to say about what the movie is REALLY about & your solution to the poor girl's dilemma.

I was tooootally kidding with you. It made me laugh in a light-hearted way, that's all. Where's that sarcasm font?

[FrankenFraud]

So excon, you think "masturbating is cheating?" Elaborate.
Btw, LOL on your question. And I could reply and say, "yes I do frequently to pictures of your sisters & mother."
But I won't. : P
JK

[Cat1864]

If this is a friend and there isn't any romantic entanglement involved what does it matter what her viewpoint is on porn. She has her opinion. Others have theirs. If she is getting upset about something you have in your house then it is up to you to set the boundary and explain to her that you do not agree with her viewpoint and agree to disagree.

You keep talking about picking your battles but I am getting the impression that you want ammunition to blow her argument away.

What are you wanting out of this discussion, because I don't think it is advice?

[DaniCalifornia]

I've watched porn myself when I've been committed, and I never feel any less towards my partner. Although I feel rather uncomfortable if they were to, I'd still allow them to.

It's my insecurities that need sorting out, not the fact that someone I'm with would look at porn.

To add to this, I'm a glamour model, it's MY job for men to look at me!

Xx Dani G

[FrankenFraud]

1) I didn't say she was or wasn't "romantically involved" with me. 2) I wasn't seeking "ammunition to blow her argument away" rather perspective from the women on this group. I believe I made that quite clear. 3) Advise- no, opinions/thoughts- yes. Because I know I would never be able to change her mind & wouldn't even bother trying (I.e. picking my battles).

[xocwcheerbabexo]

I do think it's cheating. If you're willing to please your partner however and whenever they want they should not need porn. It's harmful to the health of your relationship if your partner feels hurt, inadequate or lied to. It's unnecessary.

[CravenMorhead]

This is a topic that is a year old. Chances are the original poster isn't going to your response. Please take a look at the date of the last post and not revive threads older than a week or two.

Also You're not really conversant on the way that men use porn and masturbation. There are more than a number of threads in the past little bit that explain it well. You might want to educate yourself, it will save strife in the future.

[CoruptedAngel]

No it is not cheating. How could it be?