[danyy]

She has changed. Initially she was the one coming talking and giving me looks, then all of a sudden she went cold. Then when I asked her to come out and talk to me, she said yes and did not come. Whatever reason you may say, it hardly takes 2 minutes to talk and she could have waited!

[talaniman]

The plan changed, adjust, forget what has gone on, smile, and ask her for her number. No drama, fanfare, plans, or strategy! No yak yak, to set it up!

If she says yes, and gives it to you, great say thanks I will call you. Then leave.

If she says no, then smile, and tell her, you wanted to get to know her better, and you had to ask, then leave her alone.

What's so hard, and complicated about that?

[Cat1864]

She has changed. Initially she was the one coming talking and giving me looks, then all of a sudden she went cold. Then when i asked her to come out and talk to me, she said yes and did not come. Whatever reason you may say, it hardly takes 2 minutes to talk and she could have waited!!

You rejected her. Now she probably questions your behavior.

As for that particular day, her friend and ride had 'hurried' out of the room. She may have said yes and then walked outside to her friend or someone else saying she needed to leave immediately.

Stop confusing yourself. Mentally you are spinning around so much that it's no wonder you can't figure out how to say hello.

Forget what has gone on before and start over with, 'Hello.'

[danyy]

Why you defending her so much? Tell me an instance where I rejected her? Just one instance. I was always courteous while replying to her. I am 'spinned' around too much but she is the one who has done that. Believe me! Believe me, if she comes to talk to me once I will do whatever she wants.
What my friends tell me is that there is no point in asking her anything as she has given her answer of having a relationship on that particular day which is a "NO".
Ok let's believe that she was in a hurry, but answer me this simple question. Why didn't she come up the next day and say that she left in a hurry and what was that I had to talk about. Just answer me this. Don't tell me to stop thinking etc. Answer this very plain simple question. If she was interested if at all!

[talaniman]

Relax guy, maybe she is protecting herself and is as socially inept, and inexperienced as you are.

Ever think she is as confused about what to do as you are? Of course you didn't, you have your own expections blinding you. She probably doesn't know herself if she is interested or not. Or what your intentions are, or what she should do about it.

Now stop with the overthinking and find out with the direct approach.

[danyy]

This is not over thinking Sir. This is logical thinking. She doesn't know herself if she is interested or not, please give me a break on that. Initially she starts talking, stares at me and still isn't sure if she is interested or not?
She is confuses. Wow! It doesn't appear as much. She is always laughing, going out with friends etc. It's me who is always talking about one thing, thinking one thing and even a frog could tell what my facial expressions depict and that is Sorrow. My friends have started to snub me a bit because I am always talking,thinking and telling one thing.
To do something, there has to be a chance of success. My peers tell me that going directly would result in utter disappointment as if she wanted to listen to something she would have listened on that day no matter what. You tell me if she initially show signals to me and when I ask her to listen to what I have to say, you think she doesn't what am I going to talk about?
You tell me that all those signals (the talking and looks) that the girl gave me where general classmate talk or was it something else?***, because believe me she did all that!

[talaniman]

There is no logic when it comes to females. They do what they do and you could go crazy wondering how they think, but it ain't logical when it comes to their feelings.

It doesn't matter about all your logical thinking, or the opinions of your peers. All that matters is what YOU do about YOUR situation. Win or lose, succeed or fail, talk to her and stop wondering what's up, or forget it, and talk to someone else.

Your fears are complicating things here more than need be, and that's not very logical. Either you go for it, or you don't.

[danyy]

Yes, I agree that there is no logic when it comes to females.
But please answer my question. All the things that she did before, do they seem normal like class mate talk or something that she is interested in friendship etc??

[talaniman]

She sounds like a friendly person, but as far as you as an individual, I cannot fathom a guess.

[danyy]

She is a friendly person?? She comes on talking, staring and goes cold and you cannot guess my nature...
Anyway, you did not answer my question. Was it a general talk class mate talk or was it something else!

[talaniman]

Dude, I can tell you about human behavior in general ways but no one can know what you have observed in her without knowing her.

My point is that its your job to find if she has interest in you or not. You keep looking for a bone that only you have and all that matters is you taking proper actions to find out for yourself about her.

I ain't no psychic, none of us is. But I do know how we take small things and make them bigger than what they are, and maybe we don't have the proper experience to have confidence in ourselves to take a chance and get answers from the source.

It is illogical to me to trip over the obstacles you keep throwing in your way, when your goal should be talking to her, and getting answers, and not be distracted by the small stuff. I can tell you also that she will never make it easy for you to express yourself to her whether she is interested or not because they love to make us work for what we want. So guy, how bad do you want it?

Are you willing to work for it? If you are NOT, then quit trying to pursue her. If you are, then drop the logic, stop over thinking, and get the deed done and take a risk.

[danyy]

Originally Posted by talaniman
Dude, I can tell you about human behavior in general ways but no one can know what you have observed in her without knowing her.

My point is that its your job to find if she has interest in you or not. You keep looking for a bone that only you have and all that matters is you taking proper actions to find out for yourself about her.

I ain't no psychic, none of us is. But I do know how we take small things and make them bigger than what they are, and maybe we don't have the proper experience to have confidence in ourselves to take a chance and get answers from the source.

It is illogical to me to trip over the obstacles you keep throwing in your way, when your goal should be talking to her, and getting answers, and not be distracted by the small stuff. I can tell you also that she will never make it easy for you to express yourself to her whether she is interested or not because they love to make us work for what we want. So guy, how bad do you want it?

Are you willing to work for it? If you are NOT, then quit trying to pursue her. If you are, then drop the logic, stop over thinking, and get the deed done and take a risk.

Ok here is your answer I did not reply for two weeks as I was myself upset.
I went up to her and said that I wanted to talk to you. When I thought that I had made enough distance I said " I had a thing to say to you", she replied " Oh yes, i forgot that day". I asked "Why did you forget?", she replied "You should have reminded me". I answered "How could have I reminded you when you wnet off so fast". I asked "ANyways, the thing is that, we have been class-mates for so long, can we be friends?". She looked down for a second and said "Friends, as in friends on facebook?", I said :Umm no", She gain looked down thinking and said "I think acquaintance is fine", then she looked down again for a second and said "Because I am a reserved sort of a person, and I don't feel comfortable", then she looked down again thinking, " I said don't take it in that sense", She nodded. Sahe looked up and said "Hmm OK" and that was the end.
Now what is that, such a confusing answer. Now you will gain say that go and talk and find out what she meant. For how long will I keep doing this. I was man enough to go and talk to her and yet she did not give a straight answer!

[adviceishere]

She doesn't want to be your friend, leave her alone, she has been as honest as she can and she has told you in the nicest way possible.

[amicon]

Nothing confusing there,she's not interested.

Time to let this go!

[southamerica]

Good for you in asking her a straight-forward and direct question. That is a great way to communicate with others and you should continue doing that in life.

As far as this girl goes, she isn't interested in you. Move forward!

[talaniman]

You got your answer, she is uncomfortable with anything other than acquaintances. Leave it at that and move on buddy.

Acquaintances may not be the answer you want, but it's the answer you got, so be acquainted better as you yourself seek other friends and acquaintances.

[danyy]

Hmmm. Afterwards she said OK, then what was that? And what was all she said and did before (those giving of looks) all about??
Another thing I ought to tell you is that after that she has come twice or thrice because she had to go on another work in between, I have got a feeler which may be wrong is that she wants me to talk to her. That may be wrong. Yesterday I was looking at my class mate and suddenly I saw her, she saw me too and started staring me but I shook my eyes down.

[amicon]

Look she told she's not interested-how much longer are you going to allow yourself to swim around in a pool of false hope and overanalyze every single thing?

Come on,get a life.

[adviceishere]

Look she told she's not interested-how much longer are you going to allow yourself to swim around in a pool of false hope and overanalyze every single thing?

Come on,get a life.

AH I always have to spread the rep!! GREENIE

[danyy]

I an just explaining that she first said that acquaintance if fine and herself said "YES" after giving fwew seconds of thought. I am just asking that what is this all with first saying a "NO" type and then saying "YES" herself. I didn't say a single word in between!