[RedGhost89]

This is my third and probably last time asking about my long distance relationship. I recently left another thread on here about it and after that happened things with us still didn't seem to work. This past weekend she came into town and said we had to talk, I knew exactly what she was going to say. She can't handle the long distance relationship and she can't play the girl friend role anymore. She says she has too much going on with school and work and the obligation of having to talk to me is putting a big strain on her and it was stressing me out as well because I sensed her stress and that bugged me a lot. So, we did break up but here is the thing... we decided to kind of sort of put us on "hiatus" or "pause" if you will. We both have finals coming up, so for the next couple weeks we are going to do our own thing and then when she comes back into town after finals we are going to see where we are at with each other. We got together this past weekend on Saturday and Sunday night and realized we aren't ready to give each other up just yet, but the relationship needed to end to relieve the stress on both ends. We both have a lot of feelings for one another and we have said we love each other. And both us believe that there is something out there waiting for us. We came to a mutual agreement with one another, that we are "friends in an open-relationship", sort of a middle ground. More than friends but less than an official relationship. As for contact, we are both taking a couple days off from each other and we plan on catching up later in the week and seeing where that goes. So I'm wondering if this situation sounds like I'm spinning my wheels or what?

[talaniman]

We came to a mutual agreement with one another, that we are "friends in an open-relationship", sort of a middle ground. More than friends but less than an official relationship. As for contact, we are both taking a couple days off from each other and we plan on catching up later in the week and seeing where that goes.

When I merged your threads, and reread them, it occurred to me that as the lust has worn down, the relationship has gone down too, and if I am right, don't waste your time with all this alternatives to having a healthy adult relationship with this person. Sorry it was fun while it lasted, but its going down hill fast. Time to let go and get gone and be done with all this that's turning into a mess.

OPEN RELATIONSHIPS means there is no commitment to loyalty at all as you both are free to roam and explore, and guess who finds something better first? Guess who is looking for something better?

Give her all the freedom and time she wants and disappear from her life. Do your own thing without her and see what your future holds for you.

Reread this whole thing yourself, and tell me what you see, and explain exactly what it is you are trying to hold on to, because I see your inability to let go of a losing proposition biting you in the butt.

[RedGhost89]

First off let me say all the advice you have given with this relationship has been great, so thank you. Everything you have said and just said ^^ have sounded completely logical. But, my heart is just telling me that I can't walk away and disappear from her life. Something on the inside tells me that would be mistake. Yes, it might end up hurting me in the end more but its something I think will be worth it, whether her and I end up friends or end up getting back together. Your asking me what I'm holding onto... I have known this girl for years and always, always have had feelings for her, even before we became official. She is just one of those people who comes into your life and changes it forever, the type of person you want to keep around, no matter what. So, yes I would love to call her my girlfriend again but if that doesn't happen, I'm always going to be her friend.

[talaniman]

I can respect your feelings, I really can, but some proper healing time to let the emotional dust settle would give you both a better chance to be friends later, if its meant to be.