[Devorameira]

Unless you have some concrete proof that your boyfriend is cheating, then you really have to believe him.

Sounds like the married woman is just trying to stir the pot.

[talaniman]

This post as merged together with your previous one to show all the facts. You may trust the guy, or say you do, but you still in the back of your mind know what he is capable of, and what he has done before. That makes whatever you call trust very shaky, and as you see influences from the outside can really get you to thinking who to believe, and what's the truth.

Further the way this relationship started as a rebound, you have never healed enough to know yourself, let alone him. So now you are in a situation with another couple going through their drama, and dragging you in it, and that shaky trust with your boyfriend, rears its ugly head. Lets be honest and dump the crap because you really don't know who to believe, or trust, and have no clue what the truth really is. And you so want to believe your boyfriend don't you, but if you really did, then you wouldn't have a question.

Remove yourself from the situation by stop hanging out where these two drama queen play their games. Find something better to do, and a better place to do it. That at least stops the drama, so you can work on what important, and stay out of what's not.

[Homegirl 50]

Stop hanging out at the cub you know they frequent. That is just asking fro trouble and drama. You guys have put yourselves into situations that causes drama. You cheated with him, he cheated on you with a married woman and now the husband wants a piece of the action.
Karma is something else!
The relationship started on the wrong foot and on shaky ground there was really no reason for either of you to trust each other.
Stay away from the club, it is not a place you need to be. Then maybe you can work on your relationship, build some trust.

[nairshar]

Unbelievable , This sounds just like my life , except that I once made out with my present boyfriend when I was with my now ex , my conscience never let me keep this away from my now ex , I told him the truth , we broke up . Meanwhile my current boyfriend slept with 3 women , it wasn't official then , It took me 6 damn months to accept , [ not forgive ] my current boyfriend for what he did when he wasn't with me for a while . But trust me , its been 2 years we have been together , I am glad that I accepted all about his past , trust me , it will take some time , but you will be over with this , not completely , but to an extent that you won't be reminded of it.. Acceptance to each others past means hell lot in a relationship , its all right , everyone in this world has had a past , so did he . Let it go , start fresh! You won't regret .

I'd think about leaving my guy at that point of time , but I loved him too much to do that , I saw him hurt every time I told him that this wouldn't work out.. but eventually everything did & we are getting married this may 2010 :)

[girly101]

Thank u so much. It is great to hear an outside perspective. I am from a small town and that is why I run in to them so much. Thank u for bringing the fact that she is not a trustworthy person to begin with, to my attention. This really helped me!

[girly101]

Thank u! This is so true.

[shaina_rachelle]

Ok I'm going through the same thing, but in reverse.

I'm in a long distance relationship that isn't. We speak daily and have for some time. I have strong feelings for him that are reciprocated...

The entire time we have been speaking he has not only approved of but encouraged me to find relations with other men. He regularly asked about if I did and when I would tell him no he would tell me I should have, that I missed an opportunity, etc. He said its unfair to me for him to expect me to be faithful to someone long distance, that I deserve more, that he would be OK and would actually be happy if I found someone to fill my "needs" locally etc etc... So what is a girl supposed to think?

I mentioned a friend-with-benefits that I had some time ago, and he asked when was the last time I had hooked up with him. I told him truthfully when it was: the first week that him and I had started speaking.

The only thing I feel I have done wrong is fib about it initially... when it happened months ago he had asked if I hooked up with anyone and I told him no... for more than one reason. I felt it wasn't his business at week one, but I also didn't want to hurt him. I would have left well enough alone and not told him at all but he kept hinting that he was disappointed that I hadn't filled my "needs" and he was the cause etc...

I don't know which way is up I'm so confused. I feel terrible, but aside from the fib I don't think I've done anything wrong. We hadn't outlined expectations of exclusivity, we weren't official... as a matter of fact he had expressed reservations about commitment... so doing what I did isn't wrong in my eyes.

I didn't want to hook up with the other guy really, but like the boyfriend in the original post, I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't falling for this guy... and I was trying to reinforce this idea physically. It didn't work, what it did do however was teach me that I didn't want meaningless sex, I didn't want nonexclusive romps, I wanted a relationship. I want something real. I don't want anyone else. I want him.

Well now that he knows about this romp from the beginning of us speaking, he says he needs to take a big step back... it changes how he sees me... he can't imagine that I would have ever done something like that.

I don't know what to do. A part of me is angry and entitled... I shouldn't feel sorry for doing something that was not only approved of on surface level but encouraged... he was less than genuine with me by telling me that I should find a way to fill my needs, all the while hoping and praying that I didn't... The other part knows why he feels hurt and feels so very sorry.